Last Night I Was Told I Would Die

[midni7e7oker]

The title says it all. I was in what appeared to be a medical building, biding my time, waiting for my turn. I didn't know why I was there, but I had an intuition that I was supposed to be and that I was just waiting my turn. Well, eventually I get approached by someone wearing what appears to be a combination of scrubs and robes, and this person goes on to tell me that I've got a disease and that I'll likely die any day now. At first this distresses me, and it distresses the hell out of my family. But as my dream continues, I become more and more at ease with the prospect of actually dying at any given moment. In addition, I recall seeing some friends I haven't seen in years. This took place after my "hospital" visit. I don't remember the specifics of our conversations, but I got the feeling that I was basically saying good-bye. I felt bad about the whole situation because of how crushed my parents were at the idea of me dying. But as I said earlier, the longer the dream went on, the more I became okay with it. On a personal note, I've recently been reading a lot about near death experiences. You know, people floating through the tunnel, seeing the white light, feeling enveloped in love, etc. Previously I have been conflicted about how I feel about the afterlife, but recently I've come to believe that earthly death is just a transition into the spiritual world. I don't think it's an end like I used to, I think it'll be, ironically, like waking up from a long, long dream. And finally, I didn't really want to add this, but it's a pretty significant part of my life that likely impacted my dream to begin with. For the last several weeks, months even, I've been contemplating the idea of suicide. I don't want to embellish the facts and make it seem worse than it really it, but it's been on my mind.

[ShadowOfSelf]

For the last several weeks, months even, I've been contemplating the idea of suicide. this person goes on to tell me that I've got a disease and that I'll likely die any day now. At first this distresses me, and it distresses the hell out of my family. But as my dream continues, I become more and more at ease with the prospect of actually dying at any given moment Your constant thoughts of suicide are spreading like a disease, growing stronger and weaving through your mind. I know i've been there. It's distressing you and your family. Not much else for me to say as there isn't much for to go on, though from my own personal experience I feel for you, and I highly suggest you seek out a confidant, someone you can speak to openly and let all your feelings out to, its important this person actually cares for what you have to say. It could change your life in more ways than one, just try it.