That you cannot remember the dreams maybe says it all. The whole point and meaning is what he represents to you, which you explained fully.
Sometimes you talk with this part of you, sometimes you go somewhere with it.
He represents:
You liked him.
He finally showed interest in you, after a long time, when you broke free of restriction.
He was the only one who stayed with you. (I think THAT is the strongest key)
An example of perfect husband material.
He made you feel unworthy.
He would never date.
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Can he represent the part of you wanting to break free?
The part that stays with you, no matter what. The true faithful one, the true faith, within you.
Can he, therefore, represent your resolution of religion? That must be the sorest point. That blasphemy pretending to be holy that severes friends and family.
Stretching it: Is he the symbol for the perfect union in yourself, that religion could not do? That perhaps you feel unworthy of and fear never happening?
Everything you said, he may represent.
But I reckon you have been dreaming of him 7 years because of an issue connecting with the ideas he meant to you. But is it past or now? Or both?
In all the hell that happened, he represents the one good point.
Or maybe he haunts your dreams because simply a part of you naturally 7 wonders what could have been.
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