Burying my French professor alive

[Xinro]

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted here. The dream I had last night has spooked and baffled me, and I could use some advice on it. Some background: I took a year of French when I was a Sophomore/Junior. I liked the teacher and also took a history course with her. She's always been kind to me, and reminds me of my mother a little, if my mom had longer hair and was younger. I have a very good relationship with my mom, but when I was in my Freshman and Sophomore years I had recurring dreams about her dying, dreams which have picked up again this year. I'll be graduating college next month. This dream started with me standing in the cafe of my school, looking at the coffee counter. It was darker in the cafe than usual, like there were only a few small, yellow lights around me and the glow from the cooler nearby. My French professor came up to me from behind and we stood in silence for a moment. The atmosphere was somber. After a moment, she told me she was dying. It scared me and made me sad to hear that, but I knew what we had to do. A few moments later, we were in my childhood bedroom, but the floor had turned to dirt and there was a human-sized hole near one of the walls. It was extremely dark, only lit by a bit of light from my alarm clock and the streetlight outside of my windows. She went over and laid in the hole, and I began to move dirt around her, packing it around her legs first. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. The mood was somber and quiet, but intimate. We were both calm, if a bit sad, and resigned to what had to be done. We talked a little as I buried her, but mostly she remained silent. Eventually, she mentioned to me that we needed to be done soon, before the sun came up, so she would have a few hours to die. I looked over at my alarm clock and was startled because it said that it was 6:31am, but it was just as dark outside as it is in the middle of the night. When I looked back over to the hole, the person buried was almost completely covered, but suddenly it wasn't my professor dying there, but my mother. She told me that it was my responsibility to take the dog out in the morning after she died. I screamed and tried to pull the dirt off of her so she wouldn't die. That's when I woke up and started crying.

[JoannaB]

Ok, my thought is that the dream is not really about your French professor at all. She is there only because she resembles your mother in your mind, but the dream continues to be about your mother just like your other dreams. Perhaps because the thought of your mother dying is so hard for you to bear that you substituted your teacher temporarily. I am thinking that the reoccurring dreams of your mother dying may be a reflection of your fear that your mother whom you love is going to die someday. Since you moved off to college I assume you no longer live with your mom, and thus are afraid that you will loose her. In part this may be just a fear of that she will not always be there for you, and in part it may be due to your realizing that part of an adult child's responsibilities is to someday bury your parent. I think this is worrying you because you know it will happen someday, and you know you will not be ready when it does. You know you should accept it because everybody dies (I think that is why you are so calm when helping bury her) but you cannot accept it. Also I think part of you realizes that you are worrying about your mother's death while she is still very much alive, which is kind of like burying her alive. What do you think? If this does not sound right, of course please discard.

[travellight27]

Excellent interpretation. I would only add the cafe (and kitchens in general) represent the choices in our life about what we listen to, what we watch, friends, food..all things taken "in". Here in the kitchen you are surrounded by yellow lights. Yellow is the color of the mind and the mental plane, meaning using your mind to make good choices in life....Light of course is love, the two combined meaning a time in your life where you should use both your heart and mind for important choices. The French teacher dying can also show a time where you are know growing up and will be responsible for your life and not dependent on what others tell you to do. The time being 6:31......in the world of numerology each number has a vibration and a meaning attached to it. Numbers are also added together for the sum..6 + 3+1 = 10= 1. A 1 phase in your life means a time of Independence, Freedom, your own path. The sub numbers...6 represents service to humanity, the mother figure, the home.....a 3 represents joy, creativity and of love of life. These numbers would suggest the life path you are on at present. TL

[Superman1]

Next month you are graduating college, so ends another stage of your life, with a new unknown one beginning. That can explain why you had the dream now. COFFEE FOR COMFORT Maybe, thinking of socialising one on one, or just the comfort of another, it was darker in your mind than usual and learning was coming. I always think yellow means sunny and warm - like the sun. But maybe I'm simple, ha. The glow may be from your emotion nearby, feeling cool. So maybe you tried to warm your emotions about this issue. YOU PROFESSOR Your French Professor can represent in you and your life what you liked, was kind, comforting, and familiar, like your mother. Or she can represent herself. This aspect is almost like a companion, helping you through life. This idea came from behind, maybe to teach you something else in a foreign area, that was somber. In your silence, you knew this part of you was dying. The constant companion of comfort and the familiar. It scared you and saddened you. But you knew what had to be done. CHILDHOOD A few moments later, you thought of your childhood or felt as helpless as a child. Where you stood was now dirt. Like the floor had been taken from under you, and you had fallen through. It was extremely dark in you now. Maybe all you saw was alarm, or else the limited time with your comforting part, and the light of the road you'd have to take in the outside world after. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ LAYING THE FAMILAR TO REST You laid this part of you to rest. You began to move the dirt, that you fell through, around her. First, where she stood in you. You felt it wasn't wrong. It was inevitable for this stage of your life, as you enter the unknown and unfamiliar. You were somber burying this part of yourself you were close to. THE OLD DIES FOR THE NEW TO BEGIN Both sides of you you were calm, sad, resigned to what had to be done. You talked a little with this side of yourself as you buried it, but mostly it was to be silenced. Eventually, this part mentioned it needed to be done before you can see again in the new beginning, so you could have a few hours to adjust to it being gone. Because the new beginning could not be with this old familiar, comforting part. ALARM TIME You were startled by the fact after so long of burying this, you still did not have the new light or seeing or understanding in you. It was just as dark as before, but is actually a new dawn. I guess 6:31 might mean the first minute after dawn. You looked in yourself at your buried part almost completely covered, and now, because you are still failing a bit in the transition - but is to be expected so soon - maybe your stronger inner authority comes, in the form of your mother. MOTHER And maybe you also remembered you had to bury your mother in this way before, by going out in the world alone and becoming your own person. Or moreover, you felt you were burying what is even closer to you and more precious, like your mother is. So you maybe felt that horrible separation as you did before with your mother. This guidance in you said it was your responsibility to take your loyal companion in yourself out in the new beginning of your life. To be with that in a new way, like you were before in the old way. This scared you - maybe it means independance and doing it all on your own - and you tried to uncover what you depend on that you buried in yourself. And you awoke to how sad losing this made you. CONCLUSION So this just seems to be about the pain of growing up, leaving behind your old dependence on others - your mother and your teacher - and the familiar, to become dependent on yourself in the new unknown. This dream was almost heart-wrenching. But like some other dreams, it is not as 'personal' or tragic as it sounds.

[JoannaB]

One other thing that occurred to me: look up the symptoms of depression and ask yourself whether you are likely depressed. If the answer is yes, please seek out help. The reason I am saying this is that whenever someone is thinking too much of death, ruling out depression is I think a good idea. Depression is a very common problem, and if it is too severe for one to handle alone, there are things that can be done by either therapists or medications (if it is due to chemical imbalance). Anyway if you think you may be depressed, it is important to seek help, just in case. You don't have to do it alone. Personally I have reoccurring mild depression, probably not clinical level, and I have not used anti depressants ever, but even in my mild case, seeking out some sort of help from others - mostly finding others who listen to me has helped me pull out of it. Depression can be a very serious problem though which should not be taken lightly. Some people commit suicide due to depression. Especially if you have any suicidal thought, please make sure to seek help. The burying someone else alive could also be that this someone else stands for you, not your mother. It could be that you are identifying yourself with your mother, and trying to distance yourself a bit from thoughts of death, and thus it is not yourself you see dying.

[NewZealand]

Dont take any of it to heart, its just just a random dream, i dont think it meant anything at all. Dont stress yourself by thinking too much about it.