Decayed/Burnt flesh?

[EverWiccid]

Alright so, some basic, relevant information about me-- I'm 18 years old, biologically female and identify as male. Pre op. Usually, if I dream at all, it's weird stuff like this. This is probably one of my strangest dreams of all time. The first thing I remember in my dream is inspecting my chest in front of a mirror. On the top of my right breast, I had holes in my flesh. jagged, edged in black. Touching it caused pain that spread chills all over my body (thinking about it still gives me chills). I winced and attempted to shift around the skin to get a look inside. I could see down to the breast tissue, which looked black and decayed, or possibly burnt. It felt solid to touch. My first thought in the dream was, "my flesh is decaying away... Skin rot..." I walked to my mother's room and showed her my chest. She just swore, muttering about how we can't afford a trip to the hospital. I thought, "at least not I have a reason to have them removed..." I was glad, but afraid of whatever was on my chest. I then woke to my alarm with goosebumps all over my skin.

[JoannaB]

I am thinking that this dream is a reflection of how wakeful you feel about your own body. You feel that it is so bad that something absolutely needs to be done about it. But you think or fear that your mother will not support you in this decision?

[EverWiccid]

I am thinking that this dream is a reflection of how wakeful you feel about your own body. You feel that it is so bad that something absolutely needs to be done about it. But you think or fear that your mother will not support you in this decision? I know that she doesn't support me in this decision. When I came out to my mom, she started taking me shopping for bras and dresses and other feminine things. I recently gave in and feminized myself for her.

[JoannaB]

I just realized that my phone autocorrected "how awful you feel" to how wakeful you feel", I meant awful. I hope that your issue will be resolved in one way or another. All the best! Edit: I also think that the dream is a reminder that for now you are still financially and otherwise dependent on your mother. However, you are 18, and so the time will come when you can make your own choices once you can pay their costs (both financial and other costs - including the cost of family disapproval). Then you will need to decide whether you can afford to pay those costs or not, or whether you really do not have a choice because you just cannot live with this body.