Hello everyone. I am a nineteen year old girl from finland, you can call me Ruby if you wish. A little bit about me before I start, I'm currently on sickness leave from school because of anxiety, stress and issues with dissociation such as feeling completely disconnected from the world and feeling as if I didn't exist for hours at a time. I am a perfectionist, was bullied and isolated the entirety of my school life and only recently have been able to gain a web of friends online. My family life has always been extremely unstable as my parents got divorced when I was one, my dad always blamed me for everything he did wrong and while my mom is an amazing person, she gets... Unpredictable when she's tired.
There are two dreams in specific, one I saw ages ago and one I just woke up from.
First dream
There are a couple of elements that keep repeating themselves in my dreams. First off, the animals. In this particular dream I was trying to get out of a building of some kind, but ended up in a forest path surrounded by large fences inside of it instead. On it was a tiger. A very aggressive tiger. I attempted multiple times to get past it, but it would always try to attack me whenever I did, which I quickly got frustrated with. The other repeating element is the 'other people'. There was a large group of highschool girls right next to me, all giggling like maniacs while a tamer woman of some sort led them around, showing off the tiger. She was talking about how they're usually very docile but 'can get very aggressive', and as a demonstration they let out a deer for it to hunt. The tiger started chasing the deer around the area, and after the deer finally managed to jump over the fence, the tiger jumped at the fence with full force, and somehow managed to get stuck halfway through in one of the squares on it. After this it started convulsing and sparking like it was being electrocuted with a high voltage, eventually shooting up from its position and promptly being cut in half by the fence around it. The tamer shrugged her shoulders and smiled a disgustingly sweet smile, then claiming something about 'this sometimes happening when the food manages to escape.'
I was shaken about the whole thing and was very determined to get out, and more than anything away from the people there. I ran to the next room - a gym class, and then on to the door that was supposed to lead out. It led into a storage room instead. There were now two tamers who followed me inside, leaving the still giggling and laughing schoolgirls in the gym room, where they had let loose a rabid, black dog. While I watched the girls tease it and jump over it as it charged, the tamers calmly told me I should've gone down from the cafeteria instead, since the exit was there, then encouraging me to go back the same way we came, into the room with the dog. I was completely and absolutely certain it would attack me if I did. They kept encouraging me, smiling that same smile as before, and the dog finally took notice of me and attacked the door. The door turned into a very flimsy, opaque piece of plastic and even though I tried my best to keep it closed, the dog eventually managed to get its head through and was very hellbent on tearing me apart. So I did what I had to do. I grabbed its neck, and in complete panic started squeezing my fingers into its flesh. Eventually the whites of its eyes started turning red and they bulged out of its skull, then finally started turning into black liquid and dripping to the floor. The schoolgirls grabbed the dog. They pulled it out, laughing, and left it to twitch uncontrollably on the floor.
Since the dog was dead (Honestly, I still gag when I think of it), I proceeded back to the forest path. There was a square fence door, and now there were two tigers on the path. Again being encouraged to go forward by both of the tamers, I opted not to, instead locking the fence and realizing there was a large bomb shelter door leading to a very tiny bomb shelter right beside me. I decided to take shelter in it until the whole thing would settle down, but as I got in I realized something felt very, very wrong. I got out, and found one of the tamers smiling at me. She urged me to go back inside, and at that point I was absolutely sure they were trying to gas me. Also, the door I had locked didn't have a lock on it anymore, after which I woke up. I have never seen any of the people in the dream in my life.
Second dream
There's a lot I can't remember about this one, it was convoluted and fragmented beyond belief and had overlapping fragments of story that didn't seem to belong anywhere.
I can't remember where it started off (I know there was mention of some computer game somewhere but more about that later), but I eventually ended up at a convention of some sort. Everything went as expected and I got in but realized I didn't have any friends with me - someone who strongly resembled one of my friends came along and chatted me up. We had a fun time talking, I showed her my art. We hit it off nicely, and she led me to an empty hospital room. She started smoking something and took one of the blood bags - now filled with something resembling a very striking yellow colored champagne - and seemed very disappointed when I refused to take any part in it. I started seeing hallucinations, came to the conclusion that she had tried to drug me, and somehow stumbled out of the room. The hallucinations didn't stay for long and I was told to talk to one of the people in charge of the place. So I did, and he seemed friendly enough, leading me to an area designated for kids so that I could relax and be under supervision so that this wouldn't happen again. He had a very familiar sweet smile on his face though, and eventually started talking about 'limb therapy'. He showed a picture of severed limbs to his supervisor and they talked about it for a while - I wasn't supposed to overhear it but I could gather they were going to rip all of my limbs off. Eventually he came back and started forcibly dragging me into a pit filled with huge walruses of all things, then seeming very surprised when I refused to go along with him. Usually in dream situations with absolutely no way to get out I have a natural instinct to force myself to fly away from them; so that's what I did. It's always physically painful for some reason, and I always have to struggle to keep myself in the air, but I managed to get away.
When I relaxed, the dream pulled me back into the starting point, this time into playing the game I was talking about earlier. It was somehow linked with my limbs being cut off, but I can't remember how. In it, you had to rescue these tiny doll-like people from small arenas so that you could have different powers in the overworld. A very simple game, filled with hazily grotesque monsters that had little impact on me. I kept playing and watching one minute walkthroughs for a while - I think there was a dressup minigame somewhere in there - when the dream suddenly cut into complete darkness, finally fading in to an empty, darkly lit room. At the very end of the room, there was a glass showcase embedded in the wall, and in it, was me. I had been torn in hundreds of bloody little pieces, scattered around the shelves. I was looking at the scene from outside of the case, and I remember seeing my head on one of the shelves staring forward with a blank expression. There were two others, and we were all still alive. I remember feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I'm fairly sure our pieces eventually started melting together back into full bodies, but I can't remember anything after that.
Also, the goal of the doll game was to use the dolls to commit massacre. Curious on its own right.
Any thoughts especially on the second dream are very welcome. I guess I just needed to get my thoughts in order, ahah. Sorry for the long winded post.
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