Solving problems,answering questions with the help of Dreams

[Ameslari]

Well, it all started a night when I dreamt about her and I kissed her, then the next week she had a dream, where I was kissing a friend of mine and she became very jealous ( in real life also), then the next week I dreamt about her again and also kissed her, and the next week she dreamt that I was chasing her and we were like laughing and all, when I suddenly jumped on her we kissed each other for a long time, then we get up and don't talk about it anymore and we make it seem that nothing happened. In real life this girl has a boyfriend for 10 month now, last weekend we kissed each other and acted like just if we were boyfriends, she was happy. Now she doesn't want to talk about it and we haven't spoken for a week now, I haven't called her, she neither. Yesterday before I went to sleep, I thought a lot about it so that I had that thought in my mind and probably my subcounciouss could tell me a hint or two about it in my dreams. The next day I remembered that I dreamt about her. We were in a house with lot of friends of my school, we were like talking a lot hugging ourselves but suddenly she began to escape from me and as I tried to find her, she evaded me...but still looked at me. At the beginning I was very sad because I didn't want to lose her, but then my pride overwhelmed me and I accepted the reality and I never tried to find her again. Now, in real life. Today I went to write some exams and she was there, with a friend, I was talking with the celphone, and she saw me, I'm sure about it but I didn't turn back, and 5 secs later she was gone. Yeah...sorry about the conciousness flow, but that was the only way to say this. I don't know what to think but I'm really sure these dream mean something, and I want to know your opinions and suggestions guys. Thanks a lot EDIT: 21/10/05 Assuming everything my dreams predicted about the relationship with this girl, I started ignoring her because I thought I wasn't the one that should have given explanation. And in a few days I realized how true my dreams were, she did ignore me and didn't talk to me, neither to say hi or anything. Until I made up my mind and decided not to let this go like this, even if she ignored me and threw away all the friendship we had, I knew that I had to do something to validate my dreams in a positive way. So I talked to her and asked what she felt when we kissed and she told me that she did it because she was feeling very good at the moment but not in a sexual way. And she also told me that she didn't tell his boyfriend and won't tell him. After that I started loosing everything I was feeling for her, she dissapointed me in every way when she said that, for girlfriends like her I wouldn't have in my life, or so I thought then. So after I made up my mind about what I was feeling for her, we talked again and I told her that if she wanted to bury me I'd respect that, but if we would be friends again she shouldn't become sad everytime she looked at me. So we started from zero, even if that's impossible, we tried to do it. But she is very impredictable, in some occasions she would be very friendly to me and talk a lot, but some times the opposite, she just ignores me. So I asked myself a night what was the problem, because AGAIN, she was disturbing my thoughts everyday. That night I dream about her, I was in a car, a kind of limousine. I was in the middle and I had two clones of this girl, they spoke intermitently, one would talk and the other would be quiet, they never interrupted themselves. One was very friendly and the other would cut any conversation very quickly or not talk to me at all. So I felt very confused in that dream and I think this dream represented everything I already knew in the reality. Sometimes your subconscious can give you a better perspective of the reality in the dreamworld, sometimes metaphoricly and sometimes with very concrete events. I just wanted to share this with you as I know many have problems, maybe not of these kind but more serious and that need more attention. I recommend you to ask yourself before you go to sleep what's wrong, fall asleep with that worry and perhaps your subconscious will let you a hand with the problem, just what I've experienced since I've been doing it.

[Leo Volont]

Well, there is obviously a good deal of physical attraction -- chemistry -- between you and this girl. But there are also a good many counter-indications. Firstly, this girl is not the most constant, loyal and steady of girls, is she? She is problem for you both in your dreams and in real life, and she certainly isn't a very exemplary girlfriend for the young man whom she is presently committed to. Your most recent dream is perhaps your best, in which you finally allow your pride to dictate that it would be in your best interests to ignore such a girl. Right now you are young, and such girls seem fascinating. But in just a few years you will find that girls such as this one will be very affordable and you would have only to pay them by the hour or by whatever job you would have them perform for you. They certainly are not worth much of an emotional investment. They say that behind every great man is a woman. But I would rather think not. It seems more likely that the greater part of the young men of every generation waste much of their time and substance on girls who end in betraying them or tying them down. Indeed, one hardly knows what could be worse -- to have one's girlfriend run off with another man, or to stay, to become fat, old and nagging, a second boss, a spender of all one's money, and a jailer who would curtail all of one's personal freedoms. And for what? Sex? We need to remember how soon sex with one partner grows old, tedious and boring. We need to compare such sex to the use of pornography. Do we know of any smut collector who is satisfied with one dirty magazine or film, that he is ever faithful too, and which forever is able to keep him completely satisfied. Well, certainly not. Variety is the most universal of Fetishes. Also, it is not a very romantic truth, but it is a truth nonetheless, but that a woman's chief fascination is in keeping herself unavailable. If you find yourself being attracted to some woman, you might consider whether you would still be so captivated after once having sex with her. Well, no, now that I think about it... some young men 'get lucky' with one particular girl and then fixate. It would be instructive for many young men to remember that "all cats are grey in the dark", and that there is not just one girl who could make you happy, but hundreds, thousands or even millions of girls who have the very same anatomy that you find so enjoyable.

[Ameslari]

hey leo, thanks for the input. I've thought a lot about the dreams and I've come to some similar conclusions...

[Añimalé]

Originally posted by Leo Volont ...Right now you are young, and such girls seem fascinating. *But in just a few years you will find that girls such as this one will be very affordable and you would have only to pay them by the hour or by whatever job you would have them perform for you. *They certainly are not worth much of an emotional investment. They say that behind every great man is a woman. *But I would rather think not. *It seems more likely that the greater part of the young men of every generation waste much of their time and substance on girls who end in betraying them or tying them down. *Indeed, one hardly knows what could be worse -- to have one's girlfriend run off with another man, or to stay, to become fat, old and nagging, a second boss, a spender of all one's money, and a jailer who would curtail all of one's personal freedoms. *And for what? Sex? *We need to remember how soon sex with one partner grows old, tedious and boring. *We need to compare such sex to the use of pornography. *Do we know of any smut collector who is satisfied with one dirty magazine or film, that he is ever faithful too, and which forever is able to keep him completely satisfied. *Well, certainly not. *Variety is the most universal of Fetishes. Also, it is not a very romantic truth, but it is a truth nonetheless, but that a woman's chief fascination is in keeping herself unavailable. *If you find yourself being attracted to some woman, you might consider whether you would still be so captivated after once having sex with her. *Well, no, now that I think about it... some young men 'get lucky' with one particular girl and then fixate. *It would be instructive for many young men to remember that \"all cats are grey in the dark\", and that there is not just one girl who could make you happy, but hundreds, thousands or even millions of girls who have the very same anatomy that you find so enjoyable. Very, very well put. Hands down one of the most intelligent, and thought-provoking statements I've ever read on the internet. Had someone told me this same message a few years ago, I don't think I'd have half the unwanted emotional baggage I have now. Kudos to you.

[TygrHawk]

Wow. Can't say that I agree with Leo very often, but I think he hit the nail on the head this time. Well done.

[mistikal]

Ameslari, While I believe there was chemistry between the two of you, I wonder why you were attracted to her in the first place (knowing that she had a boyfriend). Was it purely attraction or were you hoping for something longer lasting? Maybe the two of you were looking for something you both didn't have and you found it challenging and exciting? Remember not to confuse dreams with reality. Whilst I agree with some parts Leo Volont's opinion, I have to disagree with the bit about getting fat and being second boss etc in a relationship. Money can buy you sex, but if you want to give and receive love the key is knowing one's self, being true to yourself, to your partner and to compromise.

[Ameslari]

Of course there is love between us, mystikal, even if there is little, there is still. We have been in this situation for three times now, but without kisses. This time was the least possible situation in where we could have kissed each other, because she had a boyfriend. I said had a boyfriend because, it seems that the day before yesterday she broke with him...I can tell it just by seeing her cry all the day, and because I saw her so depressed. Today she didn't come to school. To my surprise she was the one that said "hi" yesterday, not me. I say surprised cause' I assumed that she wanted to bury those memories, and me wthin them. Now I feel weird, because before this we were "friends", but those kind of friends, that have that chemistry and can have something else. I don't know if I should help her, ignore her, or maybe do nothing and she will eventually speak to me or ask for help, I dunno, time will tell.

[Ameslari]

Edited, read on top.

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by Añimalé Very, very well put. Hands down one of the most intelligent, and thought-provoking statements I've ever read on the internet. Had someone told me this same message a few years ago, I don't think I'd have half the unwanted emotional baggage I have now. Kudos to you. My god!? but did I write that!? It must have been one of my more cynical weekends!

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by mistikal Ameslari, but if you want to give and receive love the key is knowing one's self, being true to yourself, to your partner and to compromise. PARTNER!? Remember when Husbands used to be Kings of their Castles. When did they resign themselves to being PARTNERS. I can see how women would see PARTNERSHIP as a promotion, but for the men involved, its an errosion of their once absolute sovereignty. Though the Rule of Husband never was quite absolute, was it. The need for sex, and the need to keep peace in the house ever worked upon the Husband to compromise his independence and autonomy. But then, with the understanding that there would be a 50-50 PARTNERSHIP, then how much more is the Husband then the absolute loser. Like I said, a man who marries is getting a second Boss -- an invader in his own home. PARTNERSHIP, indeed, ... it should go back to the way it was, when wives were glorified maids, chattel, prostitutes on retainer. Or at least, we should acknowledge the wisdom of having exclusive male quarters and exclusive female quarters in every household. Men should have half of their house for their own use, free from female predations and intrusions. The worst thing about being a married man is the slow but sure feminization that takes place. Living in close quarters with women is a sissifying experience. Its pitiful to watch once sure and powerful men decline into feminite softness. It culminates in the humiliation of being dressed by one's wife. One almost thinks that it would be better to put a man out of his misery who would go to work wearing a pastel polyester shirt with color cooridinated slacks.

[Ameslari]

Think you didn't notice, anyway, edited on top.