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    Thread: He hates me?

    1. #1
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      He hates me?

      I've been having reoccurring dreams about someone at work. This guy really doesn't like me much, he gets annoyed with me and treats me like I'm inferior sometimes. I wish he would like me though, he'd be a nice friend. The gist of all of the dreams is that we are always dating. The dream I just had was he got sick, and I was taking care of him, and we both spent the day in bed together. We shared laughs, kisses, the whole sha-bang. I was happy during the dream, and happy while waking up because he was nice in the dream. This is confusing though, as I'm currently in a very happy 1 year relationship, and I don't plan on changing that any time soon at all. These dreams don't mean that I like him, do they?

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      Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some additional general background information about you, it looks like the main thing to figure out is whether this recurring dream is “subjective” or “objective”.

      That means whether the man symbolizes a part of yourself (subjective), or whether he represents the outer man and your relationship with him (objective). It could even be a little of both.

      Of course, it might sound unusual that, being a male figure, he could symbolize a part of yourself.

      But for instance, if a woman makes her main decisions by using her emotions and values side, her logical and critical thinking side would tend to be less developed. This part of her would then be symbolized by a male figure in her dreams.

      In a practical way, certain thoughts, opinions and ideas would tend to pop into a woman’s mind which she might often take to be “true” and “factual” when they’re not really that way at all (because she doesn’t actually look at them carefully to see if they really fit her situation).

      To show her this situation in order to correct it, dreams would keep appearing until she understood the underlying problem.

      Of course, dreams mostly use a symbolic language based on analogies and metaphors, making it hard to understand them.

      To look at this dream from the subjective side, it’s great that you’ve described how the man at work treats you.

      That’s because this can help to show why the dream chose him specifically as an analogy about maybe how your “inner man” treats you.

      For example, the man at work doesn't like you very much, gets annoyed with you, and sometimes treats you like you’re inferior.

      In the dream, the man is “sick” and you take care of him. Even though he’s sick, you’re in bed with him and having a lot of fun.

      Symbolically, this could possibly mean that sometimes, you might be “in bed with” and accepting of certain self-hurtful thoughts and opinions which pop into your mind (or which instead are maybe subtle and fleeting).

      For instance, a woman might have the momentary thought “You’re so dumb, why bother trying for that promotion at work?”, etc. etc.

      If so, these types of negative opinions etc. could tend to slow down her overall self-development towards being an independent individual.

      Improving her so-called “masculine” assertiveness skills by reading a good book on the subject could help to build her confidence and lessen the number of such internal put downs

      In this dream, it doesn’t really look like the objective approach would fit very well except maybe in the fact that it might also be hinting “Why do you really want this guy to like you when he treats you so badly?”

      If you think over this way of looking at your recurring dream and something clicks about the guy standing for some negative thoughts about yourself, then it should stop or at least happen much less often (especially if you build up some ways of catching these self-hurtful opinions right away and countering them with self-stroking ones).

      If on the other hand, nothing seems to make sense about this overall interpretation and the recurring dream keeps happening, then a whole different approach might be needed.

      Anyway as mentioned, without knowing anything much about you, this way of looking at your dreams might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope that these ideas can be helpful in some way.

      Please make any comments or ask any questions about this interpretation that you’d like to.

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      What sort of information would be needed about me to get an accurate interpretation?

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      Quote Originally Posted by Rachillionn View Post
      I've been having reoccurring dreams about someone at work. This guy really doesn't like me much, he gets annoyed with me and treats me like I'm inferior sometimes. I wish he would like me though, he'd be a nice friend. The gist of all of the dreams is that we are always dating. The dream I just had was he got sick, and I was taking care of him, and we both spent the day in bed together. We shared laughs, kisses, the whole sha-bang. I was happy during the dream, and happy while waking up because he was nice in the dream. This is confusing though, as I'm currently in a very happy 1 year relationship, and I don't plan on changing that any time soon at all. These dreams don't mean that I like him, do they?
      I think the relationship bit isn't any kind of sign that you want to be with him or are unsatisfied with who you are already in a relationship with. I think based on how you've told us that it's a shame this guy treats you the way he does because he'd make a nice friend is a good indicator of the fact that you still view this guy in a friendly or decent light. In other words, you are more inclined to almost make excuses for his behavior than really blame him directly for acting the way he does. It's like you want to believe he could really be someone nice, but for some unknown reason he just isn't actually being that way. The dream seems to be reinforcing or reflecting (or even both) that implicit hope for there being potential in him as a person worthy of respect and who would show you the same respect if only something about your situation changed. I think our attitudes and feelings toward people or situations in dreams tend to reflect our general outlooks toward those things (our gut feelings usually), and whether or not good or bad things happen in the dream gives rise to the possibility that your outlook on those people or situations change in respect to that in waking reality.
      Threeofeight likes this.

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      Only some very general information would be helpful such as your rough age range, how you would describe your personality in broad terms e.g. outgoing or quiet etc., whether you’re generally an assertive person or instead prefer to avoid causing any disruptions at all in relationships, and a description of your likes, dislikes and general goals in life. Anything else that springs to mind would also likely be helpful.

      Instead, you might even be able to decide on a better interpretation yourself if you first concentrated in turn on the images of the “sick man” in bed, the fun you had, and on feeling happy with him.

      As you’re remembering each image, jot down every spontaneous memory, thought and feeling that comes to mind.

      Sifting through what appears in this way could hopefully provide a very good clue about what the dream is really about for you personally.

      So see what feels best for you and don’t hesitate to ask any other questions you might have.

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      What's wrong with liking somebody, right? Maybe you like to be put down from time to time. It all sounds like a very plausible reality to me. Say there where no limits, no attachments no prior relationships. What are your feelings. Would you take the opportunity to try and date him? More-so I think when people are sick they are their weakest. They become less full of themself. And they are less inclined to be arrogant or demeaning. That is the time to strike. So you scheme in dreams about dating a guy. What's wrong with hacing open fantasies. Keep it a secret, nobody has to know.

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