 Originally Posted by Leo
From the Everything is Wonderful School of Dream Interpretation.
But I would smell something fishy in telling a young girl that she has absolutely nothing to worry about or to think about, and that life will be a complete bed of roses for her if only she never think about the results of anything.
But I see how the Everything is Wonderful Method of Dream Interpretation would make the Interpretor feel good. All goodness and light and all that crap.
But you should consider the damage you could be doing.
What if she believes your encouraging crap and goes out and gets knocked up. Where is your responsibility there? Will you still feel so good about yourself then?
To tell ANY teenager to just keep doing what they are doing has to be the quintessential formula for disaster. This the period in their life when they need guidance. Careers don't land in young people's laps. What lands in their laps are silly unplanned pregnancies and early marriages to incipient white track wife beaters.
"Follow you Heart" is the path straight to the Trailer Park.
Great Advice!
No, you got to get these kids thinking and then to Follow their Heads.
NOT their Tails!
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Funny, my statement did not say that she has nothing to worry about or think about. It said that she should keep going for what she loves - animals, veterinary school, etc. Seems you said the same thing, if I recall. You may have had a distinctly different way of putting it (saying she shouldn't become a slut who gets married before she's in her 30's), but we did both say she should stick with what she loves and the men will come with time.
You sure have some gall telling me that I'm causing damage by being optimistic and telling her she's not a freak. You go around telling her she wants to be nothing but a piece of ass, and you think I'm doing damage? That's a crock of donkey dung, if you ask me. If she follows my "encouraging crap," she'll end up sticking with her hobbies and finding someone who will enjoy the same things she does. Whether or not she gets knocked up is up to her. I won't feel a bit of remorse if she has sex before she's 33, as you're suggesting.
If you're really worried about unplanned pregnancies or "early" marriages (and who are you to judge when it is too early?), you should be suggesting that she get on birth control and refrain from seriously looking for marriage before getting her career under way. Telling her to hide in the lesbian-only club to avoid all men's advances isn't going to help her or anyone else to avoid confusion and an unhappy life (unless, of course, they're a lesbian).
Oh, and there's another thing about waiting so long to find a mate and procreate. At the age of 35, a woman's chances of having serious problems during pregnancy increase quite a bit. You automatically enter the "high risk" category of pregnancies. If she wants to avoid that stress, she should start having children at least a few years before 35. Starting to look for a husband at 33 just won't cut it. By then, you're desparate to find someone to fill the job. She also should know that people with timelines for her like yours are completely out of it. Being 33 years old is way too old to START looking at men. Biologically, psychologically, emotionally...
Your opinion is not useful for a woman, whether she be 15, 25, or 35. You simply don't know what it is like to be a woman at any of those ages. You don't seem to have a grip on what a woman wants at those times in their lives, let alone what to tell one who might want advice.
She needs to know that there is nothing wrong with her hobbies and drives, that there is nothing wrong with wanting men at this time in her life. She needs to know that she should follow her long-term dreams (not the short-term ones of lust), and that there's nothing wrong with balancing boys and careers. She needs to beware of getting pregnant before she can handle that, but that's easy enough to avoid (abstinence or birth control, preferably both).
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