Thread: New and with questions (wall of text, be warned...)

Hi everybody,

I'm writing here for the first time because I've been having odd dreams that I can't seem to figure out and shake from my system, so here I am, for a bit of help I guess... Here goes. The dream is choppy and I don't remember all of it clearly but this is the best I can do.

Quick relevant background: I'm a 25 year old girl. I left my ex a few months back, we'd been together for 6 years, not for lack of love but because if I hadn't we'd have hated each other profoundly. I hurt him and I hurt myself. We both still love each other, somewhat from afar although we see each other regularly.

I was walking along a small comfortable street in the suburbs with my ex, a street I knew well. As we were walking he was telling me how he loves me still but can't be with me anymore because I hurt him so when I left and his ego would never recover (this was a snippet of a conversation that actually happened a few nights prior) When I tried to explain that I wasn't asking to be back with him he started trying to convince me to go to his Father's house, after a few attempts, I gave in almost reluctantly. I felt torn and happy both at the same time.

So he climbed onto a very small boat that was waiting at what was suddenly a harbor, it looked like a child's toy. I climbed shakily and uncertainly on the boat, with luggage I was surprised to find out I had. There was very little room so one of my legs was in the water (not unpleasantly so) we set out and after a while I noticed a Killer whale trying to grab at my foot, terrified, I shifted my weight and kept all my limbs safe from it, pressing my weight on my ex, the closeness shook me. We kept the course.

At this point the tiny plastic boat was traveling very fast and we were going through a very busy marketplace in a land that was profoundly foreign to me, I caught garbled bribes of conversations in a language I'd never heard, I felt exited and safe. He was shopping for odd food items at breakneck speeds and asking me to grab things as we sped along over trolley tracks and back into water and so on and so forth, a very bumpy ride. It was fun though and we were laughing like crazy, I was happy.

We finally docked in front of his father's house, my head was swimming I felt like I loved him all over again. I'd never seen this house it and I'd never been there before. I got off the boat and stepped into an enormous house in which each room seemed to be part of every house I've ever known, some felt safe and old and some were dark and forgotten almost scary. Except for one, the one designated to me, it was entirely new. I realized my ex was nowhere to be found, nor was the boat or the water on which we arrived. I was puzzled but didn't make much of it, I was too curious about the place.

The doors wouldn't lock anywhere and there were a lot of people, dozens, none of them I knew. some seemed to be passing through on a pleasant walk and others crowded in corners. My room was the biggest, it had no bed and no furniture except for an odd bathing contraption, a hybrid between a bath and a doctor's table, with a shower on top, although it was odd I didn't feel uncomfortable. I decided to take a shower.

As I was trying to do this, tens of people started walking in talking loudly and strolling around the room. I gently pushed them out and tried to close and secure the doors as best I could but windows were appearing and they would peer in and encourage me in my quest to secure the room. They all seemed kind and it was all very funny for a time but I got suddenly exhausted and they kept pressing at the doors with happy faces. I became utterly frantic, trying to secure my space from the intruding crowd, I felt alone and bereft. I failed, and some poured in and pushed me back and back against the walls of the room, I scrambled to find a space for myself.

In the end I was cowering and crying behind the contraption in a bathrobe that didn't seem to want to cover what I felt I needed covered, and I was wondering why he left me there and where he was. I was heart broken.

I'm sorry for the wall of text!
If anyone can help I'd appreciate it, I'm kind of confused and this dream has been haunting me.

Thank you kindly.

-edited for clarity-