Last night I had a strange dream and I'm hoping someone can give me some feedback on it. First off, some background - I'm 24 years old, white, college graduate, living in Minneapolis, no other family within 5 hours, writing ad copy for a living, playing in a rock band, with a girlfriend who I love but don't get to see often enough mostly because of my own busy schedule. Last night, I was working on a song, one of my best to date, and I wrote the lyric "maybe he'll call you darling / moving in for the kill / maybe he'll show you something / that will give you a thrill." I thought it was really good so it seems significant. Right before I went to bed, I ate half of a frozen pizza (food's supposed to affect dreams, right? usually I cook and avoid processed foods...) and I watched an episode of the show Firefly called "The Message" wherein two of the main characters had to kill their old war buddy Tracey after he tried to kill them when he mistakenly thought they would try to kill him. It's complicated but I highly recommend the show. He accused them of murdering him, and the main character replied "You murdered yourself..." Then they sort of held his hand while he died, because they were still war buddies through it all. Death always affects me strongly, so I think that might be a factor. Anyway, here goes the dream.
I and some others - mostly can't remember who, but seemingly friends of mine - were in a cabin in the woods. I was wandering around outside by myself when I came upon a grizzly bear. The bear was standing up and had the face of the character Tracey, I think. It was missing half of its left arm up to the elbow (I'm left-handed, btw), and with its right arm it was eating some sort of small dead animal. I walked close to it, then "remembered" (it seemed as though I remembered this, although it may not be a true "memory"...) that grizzly bears are more aggressive and territorial and dangerous if you interrupt them while they're eating. So I got scared and backed away.
Then the bear talked to me (although I don't remember it actually speaking - it could have been telepathic...) and said it knew I was afraid because it was eating, etc., but that I didn't have to be. Then the bear essentially asked if I would take it back to the cabin and kill it, because apparently it really wanted to die. I'm not sure why. I had the sense that it was maybe sick of living, felt it was a failure, didn't deserve to live, or just couldn't live without its left arm. But it was eating an animal, so apparently it could still hunt...
So I complied with the bear's request. I took it back to the cabin where my friends were, and we all found various sharp objects with which to attack the bear. The bear just let it happen. We were brutal because we wanted to make it as quick and painless as possible. But bears are strong, and this is difficult. I had an odd sort of axe - like something you would find out of a video game, a semi-warped, rusty, sharp, foot-long half-disc of a blade attached to an axe handle. After someone paralyzed the bear, I took several swings at its neck, finally severing its spinal cord but not fully severing the head. The bear was still alive. One other friend, Joe - who is not himself a close friend, but who is the only specific person who I have even a vague impression of being present even though there were others in the room, and who is the gay brother of a closer friend of mine - finished it off by snapping the bear's neck with his hands (yes, even though the neck was already severed). The bear still wasn't dead, it just lay there breathing and told us to leave it to die alone. I remember wanting to tell the bear "I love you," a friendship sort of love, just to give it some pleasant words to die to, (similar to what happened in the TV show). I don't believe I said anything though. I just woke up at that point.
So that's it. It's the most vivid dream I've had in a long time and it's got a lot of very curious elements. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks -
Malarkey
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