Thread: Relationship Dream

Hi. I guess I'll just go ahead and get started. First off, the background information:

I am 19 years old, a brand new United States Marine. I'm an all-around nice guy, self-sacrificing to a fault. I'd rather be walked all over than take advantage of someone else. I'm pretty idealistic, I know that nice guys finish last, and I've accepted that. Except in this case.

Natalee is also 19. We went to high school together, and never really talked at that time, but I met up with her last semester at college and we started hanging out. She was just getting out of the last of a couple bad relationships, where the guy was a total jackass. Before I left for boot camp in May, we hung out and talked all the time. She was so awesome. We had so much in common, and she loved the fact that I was in the Marines. We even talked about getting together. She said that she wasn't looking for ANY relationship at the time. When I asked her if she could give me a shot when I got back, she said "Absolutely."

When I was away in San Diego (I'm from Illinois), we wrote each other every couple of days, if not daily. We talked about everything, from our tastes in music, movies, and food, to how many kids we wanted to have. We even talked about getting married (not like a "Hey, let's get married" type thing, but as a possible eventuality). We made a list together of the things we would do together when I got back. These included a picnic at my great aunt's apple orchard, kite flying in the park, swing-dancing lessons, among other things (yeah, I'm a pretty simple, sentimental guy).

She wrote to me about partying with her friends, too. She told me she and her friends met these two guys they met, and how much fun they had. I started getting a bit worried, until she rushed to tell me that they were just friends and that I had nothing to worry about. I replied to her that she could have a million guy friends, and I wouldn't care because I knew that I could trust her. She is the first girl I put all of my trust in, ever. There was even a letter she wrote me that consisted of nothing but "I miss you!" over and over again, front and back.

There were many times in boot camp that I KNEW I wasn't gonna make it. There were times where I was so exhausted that I collapsed under my gear and had to be dragged to shade. But I kept going, and wouldn't quit, no matter how much it hurt, how much I felt like I was going to die, simply because I knew I couldn't look into her eyes knowing I quit at something. Maybe this is why I grew so attached to her so quickly. When I became a Marine, my life seemed perfect. I always wanted to be a Marine. I had lost 40 pounds in fat and gained 20 in muscle. I gained so much self-confidence that I was lacking. And I had one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen who was so happy for me, who missed me, and couldn't wait to see me. And I couldn't wait to see her. She even came out to San Diego for my graduation.

Before I left, she said she didn't want to jump into a relationship too quickly because she'd been hurt badly before. And I knew that it was the best thing for the both of us, because I've never been nothing but hurt. As soon as I admitted to myself that I liked them, they turned around and crushed me. And I half expected it to happen each time. But this time it was different. I didn't expect it at all.

After I got home, we didn't see each other for a month. We called each other all the time, but with her going to school and working two part-time jobs, I figured she was just insanely busy. She even told me she hated how much homework she had. She told me she missed being with me. Well apparently, she wasn't as busy as I thought. I found out about a week ago that she probably has a boyfriend, and it's been going on since when I was about half-way through boot camp. I was distraught. I haven't talked to her since, and I think she might be ignoring me, which makes things worse. I haven't been able to eat much, sleeping is a chore for me, and I constantly have a feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach. And all this happened after I let myself fall for her.

Now onto the dream:

It started off, I was in the house I used to live at. There was some sort of function going on there, and I was sitting with a group of people in a semi-circle talking about whatever. Then Natalee comes up and stands directly behind the guy I was sitting next to, putting her hands on his shoulders. I tried hard not to look at them, but a couple glances got the best of me. She looked directly at me, and I could tell she was just ignoring the fact that I was even there. It was making me so sick that I accidentally cursed out loud, and then I acted like I had a pain in my leg so she wouldn't think it was because of her. I got up and walked outside. When I came back, there were more looks, and then I finally walked directly up to her and said "You're a b***." I said some other stuff to her, but I can't remember what. Then I kissed her. At first she was reluctant, but I kissed her again and told her how much I loved her. Then she started kissing back. She jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me, and I carried her to my old room. I cleared off the bed (for some reason it had a bunch of plastic army men and toys of that nature) and we laid there with each other making out.

It was weird because I kept trying to take the making out further, but she was resisting (I wasn't being forceful, I was just like a persistent guy). It felt like she was saying "Not yet." Then it was time to go to sleep, so she pulled the covers back. As I got underneath, I found over $100 in cash under the pillow.

The scene suddenly changed. I was in the same bed, in the same room, but the covers were made, and I was sitting there with my mom's best friend Jeanie, who was telling me about how her son Mark was asking her if he could stumble around like a drunk all night. Then I woke up.

I'm so confused, especially about the ending. I feel at a loss as to what this dream might mean, other than that I might get a positive result of the situation if I'm more aggressive in talking to her. Also, lately, it should be mentioned that things seem to point to and predict that I have something good coming. The night before last, I dreamt that a spider was floating above me. Scared me to death and I woke up and jumped out of my bed, but I was told that dreaming of spiders can mean good fortune.

I'm sorry for the great length, but someone, anyone, please help me. If this means something good, I have to know. This girl means more to me than anything in my life ever has.

P.S. - Forgot to mention, maybe the money has something to do with how her family's kind of well off, and I'm pretty short on cash all the time, and one of my biggest worries was that I wouldn't be able to provide for her should we get together.