I'm not in the military. I didn't go into detail much on the nuclear explosion dream, it was more to say that I've been having very odd dreams lately. Since you have given me some good ideas I'll explain it a little better. In the beginning of the dream I am told that there will be a bomb let off and it is my responsibility to somehow stop it from happening. I'm not sure if I just assumed it to be my responsibility or someone told me I could do it, but most people I met either didn't think it was going to happen or thought that I could do it. I asked for advice from the many people I encountered in very strange places. Most of the places I visited were inside this huge mansion that had many rooms, one of them consisting of only a pool with a ledge around it of about four inches and then walls, so there would be no possible way for you to linger in there unless it was in the water or you were walking out the door. In this room I got a phone call on the mansion's house phone from an old co-worker that gave me another hint. I acquired hints everywhere I went and then found out that the last hint was inside this morbidly obese woman's body and I had to kill her to get it out, but even if I got this hint there wasn't really any certainty that I would be able to stop the bomb. Then while I was thinking about it, it just blew up. Those are just the minor details, they all change each time I've had the dream, but the view of the explosion and the city afterwards is always the same. The whole time I was trying to stop the bomb, I didn't really try that hard I let everyone lead me. No one seemed worried at all. I knew the whole time that it wasn't possible to stop it at all and it was not worth my effort, i'm not sure how to explain it. i wasn't worried, but I felt slightly obligated to at least try put in this odd position. I was slightly frustrated because people expected things of me, but they weren't really willing to come along with me and help.
The part where I am in the city, I wouldn't say that I knew exactly what to do or where to go, but I wasn't flipping out like everyone else. I mean it was chaos, people told me about the drugs they've taken, or stopped taking and the places they've looted. Everyone was really scared or really reckless and I was mainly impartial. The explosion happened, I didn't stop it, now i was going to move on. I guess I was in a little bit of shock, but mainly I just wanted to go find someone I recognized because once the explosion happened everyone I saw was a stranger, and an odd one at that. I think this is the most telling part of the dream and most of what happens in the mansion is kind of filler. I've been very lonely lately, and have had many feelings of extreme displacement. I left a relationship that was heading towards marriage in May and since then have been evaluating all of my relationships and making many negative conclusions, resulting in feeling very alone. I think this dream might correlate with my loneliness.
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The second dream is the one that boggles me and doesn't seem to relate to my personal life, like you said. I would say that the entire time I wasn't scared or worried, mainly very interested and curious. I just laid right down when the weather was so bad, but I felt above it, I knew it wouldn't harm me. It didn't feel like a message was trying to be conveyed to me, more like something was trying to take my memories and experiences and record them. I felt in control the whole time and I don't think that was expected by whatever was trying to gain my information, and I think that is what resulted in me seeing and experiencing many other memories of things I’ve never seen. I felt a certain amount of calm control that allowed me to view things that everyone else could not see. I felt a certain amount of power in the situation, like initially I allowed myself to be put in some sort of submissive state, but out of curiosity I wouldn't let it continue and interfered. The cousin that was in the dream I rarely see, so it might not be too easy to slip in dream conversations haha... but this made me think of his involvement more. I was very close to him when we were young, we spent most days together he was practically my brother. Looking back at the people that the people that I recognized were all people that spent a lot of their time on this property, some dead some alive. The people I didn't recognize might have been people who used to live here, they all seemed to fit there and they all seemed comfortable. There was no stated reason for them to be there. It was like their souls are slightly stuck here. I'm not sure...there are my thoughts though. haha...few that was a lot.
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