Need help with meaning of recurring nightmare?

[tjanai]

Hi everyone. So I'm new here, and actually came searching in help interpreting this dream. It's been recurring for about 6 months now I'd say, and haunts me any time the mention of dreams, or any events similar to the happening of my dream gets brought up. I would be ever so grateful if someone could help me understand. So here we go. It's kind of really long. I start out on a vacation with my mother, step-father, and younger sister in a place that looks a lot like the more green and lush lands in the game Fable 3. In other words, it's green and beautiful and bountiful and by every interpretation beautiful. I'm incredibly happy here but for a reason I have yet to understand we have to leave. The space between then and now becomes unclear and suddenly I'm on a Greyhound bus, seated next to my sister, and we're traveling through the mountains. We're not traveling on any roads so far as I can see, just kind of off the path, but everything around us is so white with snow it's hard to believe anyone can see at all. The path is narrow and the bus seems at risk of falling off the side of this icy mountain. The trees around us are only barely visible past the snow they're blanketed in. As I stare out the windows I see families walking the other direction around the bus. Not a mob, just a steady trail of people walking. They're all in tattered clothes and none of them wear shoes. No one else on the bus notices them when I look around and they don't seem to notice us. Even my sister, when asked, tells me I'm going crazy, there's no one out there. One girl stops. She has red hair, looks to be about 12 years old, carries a tattered teddy bear and she looks directly through the window at me and we make eye contact. I feel so cold and empty in that moment, it's like nothing could ever fill that void again. Once more things are fuzzy and my family is now at what seems to be a low end skii resort. There is no one on the slopes except for the lift operators. My family walks into the lodge, looking for food and everyone seems to be here inside. It's relatively packed. The lodge is warm and almost inviting, we place our order and sit down at a table to wait for them to finish the new round of food and bring it to us. This seems normal and nothing seems off until I decide I need to use the restroom. As I walk to the restroom on the other side of the lodge I notice people looking at me. Until this point I hadn't noticed that every person besides my family are faceless. Where their faces should be is perfectly smoothed over. They make sound, and they have conversation, they laugh and talk, but there's no movement in their perfect flat faces. Yet this doesn't seem off to me at all. I walk into a fairly large bathroom (this is where things get vivid. My heart's pounding at the thought.) and use one of the white stalls that's located directly at the door. All's normal here. As I finish and step out to find the sinks, they're on the other side of the large space. There's nothing between me and the sinks in the bathroom except for two fairly large, claw-footed, white, porcelain bathtubs that seem to have an upper part to hold things. Much like a grocery cart. This too doesn't phase me. As I walk towards the sink I feel compelled to look into the bathtubs. In one lies a small naked baby girl, maybe 6 months old, who has clearly passed away. She looks chilled and her lips are blue but beside that she seems no less normal than a deceased child should, eyes and mouth closed. Once more, doesn't phase me. In the other lies another, younger baby girl, with fuzzy blonde hair who much resembles myself as a child but within the dream has no obvious similarity. She's frozen to the core and lying in a very small amount of cold water. Her skin is blue, her eyes are closed, her fingers are frozen into little fists. Her body is uncomfortably stretched flat in a way that babies normally don't lay. Everything about her is wrong. As I stare at the frozen child the other girl catches my attention. Her eyes have snapped open, quickly and violently, but no other part of her moves until I'm looking into her eyes. She then begins to speak to me. She tells me all these horrible things about myself, how I'm never going anywhere in my life, "going to school is a waste of money and everyone's time," "you're a cruel human being with no respect for those around you," "You lay waste to everything you touch," "you are not even deserving of the hell you'll pass to, but at least you'll be with me," is how she finishes. Every part of dream me knows that this is a demon, maybe even Satan, speaking through the dead child. As she stops speaking and the room falls to silence, the frozen child begins to cry. No part of her moves, she never inhales, her lips never part, but she continues to cry that heart-wrenching cry that only a child who feels abandoned can. I step backwards and bump into the sinks, too upset for even tears to come. As I turn to look at myself in the mirror there's no one there. I have no reflection looking back at me. When I touch the mirror it's cold as death and I feel as empty as I've ever felt in my life. Here is where I normally wake up, sometimes a moment sooner. I wake up feeling empty and alone, usually in a cold sweat and on the verge of tears. I've woken afraid to move. When I first had the dream I woke to the feeling that someone else was in my room. The sun was just starting to rise but hadn't made any impression on the darkness in my house yet. I could FEEL someone else with me and I was so terrified that I don't even know the words to describe that feeling. I've only felt it once since and it was during a shower before bed about a month ago. I don't know what to think of this dream I only know that it's the most hopeless and terrified I've ever felt. Even thinking about it brings me to the verge of a cold sweat. I want so desperately to understand what it means because clearly something's trying to get across to my waking mind. If anyone could help, I know it's long and I would probably skip over it if I saw someone else with this much text but I need to understand so maybe I can stop reliving it. Thank you so much <3

[Pegasis]

What Might have started it? There could be something that needs resolved. I see it is feelings about the unknown. I hope this is the right track.