A dream about a girl

[CeedContra]

Hey guys, I read alot of other posts about dreams with girls in them was was just looking for a more personal response. So there is this girl, until this dream I never thought she was really attractive or interesting really, but then I had it. We were in school, and I had strong feelings for her, and right before I woke up she said the most amazing, adorable thing. Of course my dream recall is pretty bad and I don't remember it. But since then, I can't get this girl off my mind. She's suddenly the most pretty, amazing, girl in school. Shess so cute Anything would be great guys, thanks!

[Burned up]

Hi CeedContra I know you're looking for a personal response - perhaps you saw my follow-up to a similar dream query: Dreams like this are so powerful. But what to do? Here's my take, based on personal experience, a little dose of Jungian theory, and how I've worked with others. First, real though she seems, she is NOT out there. "She" is IN THERE. Any attempt to project her onto a real life girl will always lead to disappointment as nobody will ever match the girl of your dreams. Well, that's the bad news. But now for the good news. "She" is part of you and is therefore there all of the time, if only you could find "her". She will undoubtedly appear in dreams again - maybe tomorrow, maybe months away, but likely you'll find her again. She'll probably look different. She might even take the form of someone you know. But the feeling will be the same. With each dream you will learn more about her. She is also there in real life! OK, you can't touch her or see her in the street. But there will be moments, perhaps when you're alone or experiencing something emotionally moving (like in a movie or a beautiful place) when you'll sense "her". At these moments, don't push her away by closing off your emotions, which could be very strong. Stay with the feeling and (and this sounds weird) talk with her. Ask her to show you things, to guide you, to be with you. Tell her she's important to you. Tell her what she needs to hear - if she's a lonely child say you want to play with her. If she's suffering tell her you want to comfort her. You'll probably end up in tears but, hey, that's the price of love. Why do all of this? Because you want to meet the girl from your dreams. That's why. She has been created by you in what I believe to be a childhood "splitting" at the time when we take our male or female identity in society (but there are many other theories). She's been suppressed for a long time, but not destroyed. By loving "her" we learn to love ourselves and become fuller people, able to form healthy relationships with people for who they really are not who we want them to be. Mahdi's post I would concur with. Our dream girl appears when we need her to - which is when real life relationships aren't providing us with what we desire. From experience, "She" will change with time, always being the elusive part of our desire for the opposite sex. A man's feminine side, if you like. All this applies to women dreaming of men too, although from what I've read here (mainly) the types of dream are a little different, more frequently involving dreams of RL people such as ex boyfriends, colleagues, celebrities or even members of the family. Your dream is in the same space, I would say. With one important difference - your dream was about someone you see frequently and have now developed a crush on. The question you need to ask is - how much of the crush is your own fantasy of the girl (as illustrated in your dream) and how much is based on who she truly is? Your judgement is likely to be influenced by the former. But don't discount the latter - it could be that the dream revealed something about her you failed to see in real life (because a fantasy about her ordinaryness was getting in the way). Basically you need to keep your head screwed on and test the situation. Whatever you do - don't ever hold anything against her for not being the girl of your dreams!

[CeedContra]

Thanks man, that seems like what I wanted to hear. And about the part with not being provided with what we desire... I'm in a relationship now but it's nothing like what it was when it started. It's been about 10 months now and I don't want to say I don't love her, but I guess I don't have feelings for her any more. What I can remember from around this time was probably the last fight we had and something clicked in my head and I realized I don't care about our relationship any more. Actually tried to break up with her since but, easier said then done. Thanks again man, think I might talk to her sometime

[Irken]

I'm no dating expert but make sure you really wanna break up with her. I've broken up with girls before only to want them back later. So basically don't make the wrong decision.

[Burned up]

Thanks man, that seems like what I wanted to hear. And about the part with not being provided with what we desire... I'm in a relationship now but it's nothing like what it was when it started. It's been about 10 months now and I don't want to say I don't love her, but I guess I don't have feelings for her any more. What I can remember from around this time was probably the last fight we had and something clicked in my head and I realized I don't care about our relationship any more. Actually tried to break up with her since but, easier said then done. Thanks again man, think I might talk to her sometime It's never easy. Often there's some reason for wanting to stay together and some other reason for not wanting to. Best of luck with that. Sounds like you already recognise how easy it is to idealise someone. I'm no dating expert but make sure you really wanna break up with her. I've broken up with girls before only to want them back later. So basically don't make the wrong decision. If only we could see into the future.