~ Vex Kitten's Journal 05/06 ~

Won Ton soup...it's great. Try it sometime.
A word of warning though, it tastes different at each restaurant. When it's good...it's really good. But when it's bad...it's literally sickening.
Offering me bad soup will only encourage my wrath.
Just fyi. ;)


Jan 19 06

1-Cat-Bird-Spidermonkey
Stepped out my back door into the rain. It was summer, everything green and alive. Could even smell the dampened earth.
A small black and white cat prowled the edge of my property. I went to see what it was stalking. A peach colored bird was sitting in the low branches of a shrub. The cat pounced on it and tried to eat it. I ran over and pulled the bird from the cat's grip.
I carried it into the house and set it on the counter, turned away, turned back and the bird had transformed into a spider monkey. At this point I realized something wasn't right. Was on the verge of being lucid I think, but the monkey leapt on me and sank it's needlesharp fangs into my hand. Woke up.

2-Chihuahua Girl
Was outside looking up at the stars. They were brilliant and purple-ish, very much like they are on my comp desktop. I don't recall recognising any constellations...just admired their brilliance. A car pulled in my driveway, the headlights flashed in my eyes and blinded me for a few moments. I got pissed but went inside instead of complaining.
Listened to music while I was sketching. I was trying to create a character for a comic book. A female char who looked a lot like myself. I couldn't seem to get her hands right. Whatever I did they seemed contorted or deformed. As I was sketching I could hear an annoyingly high pitched female voice outside. My bf went outside to deal. The female just got louder and more yappy. Reminded me of a chihuahua that won't shut up. I tried to ignore her but eventually snapped. Stormed outside to tell her to shut the fuck up.
She was complaining because bf's truck was in the way. She couldn't leave. So I calmly told her, "drive AROUND the fucking truck...einstien." She considered the suggestion, and I thought she was going to take it, but she turned her agression towards me. Started calling me an assortment of lovely little names.
I lost it, reached for the door but she locked it. So I moved to the back door, opened that. There was a girl in the back seat who scrambled to the otherside of the car, out of my reach. I climbed in and grabbed the mouthy bitch by the hair and dragged her into the back seat and nearly out of the car. Couldn't get her outside, so I grabbed her arm, then proceded to repeatedly kick her in the face. She started screaming. This only enraged me all the more, made me want to stomp her yappy ass to death. Don't recall anything after.


***The girl in the car had a strong deja vu feeling about it. Didn't clue in in the dream, but the entire thing had happened irl a few years ago.

Damn, I hope to never make you angry while withing a kilometer of you :D

Hey...I'm perfectly sane and stable in real life. Nothing to worry about.
:angel:
Really I am.


Jan 20 06
(couple of looong ones)

1- Snot-Spirits-Shot
I was at my sister's, watching her 3 yr old son. Knew she'd be back soon, so I started looking for my socks, shoes and jacket. Found my socks, but one had a bunch of thumb tacks jabbed into it. Took a while to pull them all out. Found my shoes, but one was filled with water. I poured it out, mentally swearing. Didn't want to swear aloud in front of the kid. Slipped my shoe on and it felt too small. Then after a great amount of searching, I found my leather jacket. It was way back under the couch. Put my jacket on and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Just as I finished this my sis and her man came strolling in.
I picked up my nephew, gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the forhead, told him I'd see him soon. Was about to put him back down but he sneezed. Blew gobs of snot all over me. I dropped him. He plopped onto the floor and started crying. Looked down at my clothes, mucus dripping everywhere. I nearly puked at the sight, ran to the bathroom and stripped out of the clothes. Threw them in the garbage and made my sister give me a clean set. She gave me a track suit. Hated it but would rather wear that than snot soaked clothes.

Left, strolled by a liquor store. There was a flashing neon sign in the window,..everything 75% off. Of course, couldn't pass that up. Stepped inside, but it wasn't a typical liquor store. It was lavish, tan leather couches and chairs to lounge in, chandeliers, store personelle were dressed in tuxes. I felt out of place, especially only dressed in a track suit. Sheepishly inched my way through the place. It was packed with people with cases and cartloads of liquor and wine. All I wanted was a bottle of Jack Daniels. Couldn't find any. Went to the counter to ask if they had it in stock. The guy informed me that they'd sold out 5 min before I got there.
Disappointed, I sat in one of the leather couches. A guy sat at the other end of my couch, a cop I know. Started blabbering about his wife spending all his money. I didn't care really, just shrugged.
He asked if I was still taking photography. Told him yeah. He then tried to convince me to study something else, photography is pointless because of all the programs out there that can fix up pictures these days. I, in turn, informed him that anyone can take pictures. Not everyone can be a photographer. He laughed at me, said that my reasoning didn't make sense. So I used a different example, one that even a cop could understand...Anyone can be a pig. Not everyone can be boss hog. I laughed, a couple of bystanders laughed with me. The officer got mad and left. I felt considerably better after that.
Got up to leave, the owner of the store approached and offered me a bottle of whiskey. Said he'd been wanting to tell that cop off for years but never had the balls to. Told me I'd get a discount on anything in the store from now on. I accepted the bottle and told him I'd definately be back. As I was leaving the store, three shady looking guys walked in. The lead guy was wearing a white winter coat. Didn't like the look of him.
Anyway, I left, started down the street back toward my sister's. About half way there some people came running past, one yelled at me..."Hey, the liquor store just got robbed! Bodies everywhere, lets check it out!" I stood there stunned. Knew it was the guy in a white coat who had done it. I'd gotten out of there just in time. I didn't want to go back. Kept heading for my sister's.
A while later, cop cars came squealing around the corner. They stopped just short of me. Police officers rolled out and trained their weapons on me. I heard one of them radio back, "We have one of the suspects in out sight." Barely heard the reply, "Suspects are to be considered armed and dangerous...shoot to kill."
Then one of the cops yelled, "You heard em...shoot to kill." I glanced over and saw the smug smiling face of the officer I'd previously insulted. I turned and bolted down an alley. Gunshots exploded after me. As I fled, I just happened to remember I was wearing a white jacket. I stopped, ripped it off me and tossed it onto the ground. Then, even though the police were slinking their way down the alley towards me, I stood there staring stupidly at the jacket. Like it meant something...or I was supposed to remember something. The same sort of feeling as when there's a name on the tip of your tongue? I couldn't bring myself to move, not until I remembered what the jacked meant. Ended up shot in the back, just above the tailbone. Woke up.


*** :mad: there were like, a billion different things in that dream that I could have used to start a lucid dream...but I didn't pick up on them
***my tailbone was really sore when I woke up.

Jan 20 06

This one is really long.
Decided to post it separately.

Lucid Dream from HIT

The dream formed around me. I was lying on the floor in my bedroom, lying in the same position as I actually was lying in bed. When I tried get up off the floor, found I couldn't. It was like sleep paralysis in the dream. It took a massive amount of will power to get into a sitting postion, then to stand. When walked, the feeling of paralysis kept trying to overtake me.

When finally I broke free of that feeling, my mind began flooding with things to try. But then I remembered that in my last few lucid dreams I barely had control over anything. First found my hands, and rubbed them as a way of staying lucid, though I felt I didn't need to. Then started talking out loud, narrating my every move. (kind of creepy)

Got into the hallway. There was a little girl, draped in a black veil. She wouldn't let me pass. I tried to move her aside but she leapt onto me and tried to bite my face. Somehow, I bit her first. She wriggled free and tried to bite me again, and again I managed to bite her first. She fell to the floor and scampered off. I was left standing there wondering wtf?? Knew she was trying to make me loose my lucidity.

Then decided to try put my hand through a wall. It wouldn't go through. Like an idiot I stood there shoving my hand against the wall, then started punching at it. It wouldn't go through...so i gave up.

Moved into the dining room, to the huge mirror there. One of the things I wanted to try in a LD. I looked at myself, and was kind of shocked that my reflection looked like a corpse. Face pale, eyes sunken in and dead looking. Hair all matted and tangled. I wasn't afraid, mostly curious as to why I looked like that.

A dog barking stole my attention. I looked into the living room (no furniture in it) and there was a chihuahua sitting in the middle of it. Thought it was odd but ignored it. Decided to levatate. After much verbal bitching at myself, I finally managed to lift from the floor. Rose till I hit the ceiling. Tried to 'ghost' through it but couldn't. Floated back to the floor, and that damned chihuahua ran over and latched onto my wrist. It stung like you wouldn't believe. I knew it was trying to distract me from being lucid. Grabbed the little mutt by back of the neck and squeezed. The dog let go. Tossed it across the room.

Went outside. It was evening. Stepped onto the front porch only to be accosted by a snobby looking businesswoman. She started yapping about how I had to sign a form before I could procede any further. Seemed like she talked forever, then she bagan to thrust a pen towards me, trying to intimidate me into signing the form. I got the feeling she was trying to distract me too, so just asked, "Who are you anyway? Get the fuck out of my dream. Stupid bitch." She looked horribly offended and stormed away, muttering something along the lines of...'well, we're not responsible for any injuries or damage caused by what you find.' She hopped into a small car and zoomed off.

Stepped onto the lawn. Looked up at the sky. It was overcast. Tried to fly. I ascended straight up until I was just under the clouds. Was curious as to what lay behind them, but let myself plummet back to earth. Slowed myself just before i hit the ground and I landed gracefully atop the grass.

Forced the clouds away. They just dissapated. Stars were resplendent. That's the actual word I muttered when I saw billions of stars above me. Resplendent. I looked off to the west and saw Gemini and Orion rising brilliantly on the horizon. I immediately knew this was wrong. "You're not supposed to be over there." I said, and used my finger to 'pin' Orion to the sky. I then dragged him over to the east horizon, where he was supposed to be. Did the same with Gemini.

Tried to fly again, rose high into the night. Looked all around me, I was so high up I could see the curvature of the earth. And behind it a starfield like something out of a sci fi movie. I wondered where to fly to. Decided to try fly to the plaza and back as a test, but discovered I couldn't fly. Could only ascend or decend. Couldn't move horizontally. This pissed me off and I spent a great part of the dream trying to fly.

Every so often I'd stop and wonder where I'd go it I could fly. There were a few places I wanted to get to, but really wanted to go to Dildo Island. (obsessing?) I remember thinking...'Placebo got to go...I want to go too.' But I couldn't fly no matter which way I tried to convince myself I could.

Suddenly I realized it'd soon be time to wake up. I didn't want to, but decided to see if I could wake myself out of the dream. Ran back up the front stairs and tried to 'ghost' through the front door. It didn't work. I slammed hard into the cold unyielding steel then stepped back, laughing, feeling like quite the ass. I opened the door and stepped through, went to my bedroom. It was empty. Laid down on the floor again in the same position as when the dream started. I closed my eyes and mumbled..."you better remember this dream too...dammit."

A few seconds later my eyes popped open. I was wide awake, the dream still vivid in my mind. So happy to have finally had a lucid dream. Even though it wasn't a very adventurous one.


***FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY a LD ... time to celebrate ... :cheers:

CONGRATS!!
Looks like you have good staying power in your LD's, but need to work on your control.
Sounded like fun though ;)

Jan 21 06

:D Thanks Placebo.
It was fun.
I think that's the longes LD I've ever had. They usually only seem to last a few minutes.
Wondering why it is I can effortlessly move stars about the universe and control nature...but can't walk through walls or fly. The latter two, I used to be able to do so easily.
:? And wondering why my mind keeps throwing distractions at me.


Art Class
In art lab painting. I looked down at my paints...the only color I had was blue. Everyone one else had the full range of colors to paint with and they were painting merrily away.
Did this bother me? Of course. Felt excluded and somehow lowly, like I wasn't good enough to have access to all the colors. After a bit of moping, I decided to paint using only the blue. Had to use water to thin the paint to make lighter shades of blue.
Painted a blue seascape, with a blue sky. Used undiluteed blue paint to make some silhouette rock formations in the water, then also to paint the shadows cast by the formations upon the water. When it was all done, it acutally looked kind of nice. Like a serene watercolor painting. I was actaully rather proud of it, despite the fact that I hate painting to begin with.
Submitted the blue painting and the instructor just snorted and set it aside. Pissed me off, yes, but I just walked away. Hate painting anyway. I was going to just leave the class but numerous students informed me that I had to clean my paintbrush before I go. Didn't really want to but eventually did.
Turned in the tap full blast and started scrubbing my paintbrush out. Blue paint was spattering everywhere. Didn't care. Eventually, I ended upstaring at the water, like it was supposed to trigger something? A memory? A word? A name? I couldn't remember what the hell I was supposed to remember when I saw water.
Finished rinsing the paintbrush and tried to leave again. A student stopped me and told me he liked my painting. I told him he could have it. That seemed to make his day. He was so damned happy that it kind of made me feel better.
All I remember.

Had a couple more dreams but cant recall them right now.
:(

2-Just had to add, I remember a bit of another dream, I recall seeing the word ZERO written in the dust atop a table or desk. All I can remember.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Vex Kitten

Wondering why it is I can effortlessly move stars about the universe and control nature...but can't walk through walls or fly. The latter two, I used to be able to do so easily.
:? And wondering why my mind keeps throwing distractions at me.

---

Because deep down, you believe it to be difficult, and you believe that your mind or subconscious doesn't appreciate the intrusion of lucidity.
Your subconscious is like a farmer's field. You reap what you sow.
If you have the slightest idea that something might be difficult, your subconscious latches on and grows it bigger and bigger.
At the same time, it latches onto other good interesting ideas and grows them too.

That's why dreams can be pretty cool and mean a lot - it shows what you're growing in the back of your mind :)
And lucid dreams are a unique way of working the field that doesn't include psychiatrists :P

:) Thanks again Placebo. For everything. You really are great.
Best of luck with your polynaps. Im over here cheering for ya.

Jan 22 06

1- Classical vs Country Music
Was at my grandmother's house. Had classical music blasting on the stereo. My aunt came waltzing in. Someone came in behind her. Can't remember who. But they went straight for the stereo and switched the music to country. I jumped up off the couch, started bitching at them for changing the music and put my cd back in. It was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonota. My aunt and whoever was with her called it crap and threatened to take the disc out and break it. I tried to argue back but they just outyelled me. I turned, took their cd out of the stereo, snappeed it in half, then into quarters, tossed it onto the floor and spat on it. They went rabid. All the sudden had knives in their hands, chasing me. I fled from the house, looking for something to use as a weapon or shield. Preferably a weapon. All I remember.


2- Potential Pet
Was lying in a lounge chair, covered up with something like blanket or whatever. Can't remember. But eventually this guy, maybe about 17 or 18, eased over to my side. He knelt down beside me and asked me if I'd keep him. I didn't know what he meant, so asked him to elaborate.
He asked if I'd take him on as if he were a pet. He'd do anything and everything I said. Whatever I wanted.
Not believing, I ordered him to rub my feet. He did. Then also started masaging up and down my legs. Felt nice. He kept asking if I was going to keep him. I told him to shut up and keep rubbing while I considered it. Sounded good but didn't know if I was ready to take on a pet.

Bonjour jolli fille,

I agree, if you convince yourself that you can't do something. You can't. But in convincing yourself that it is possible and easy then that is what it will become. As in the dream when you can't do something you go, awww, I can't do it... instead in the next dream if you can't do something think.. hey, it's a dream, I can do whatever I want. I think the reason you couldn't do somethings was because of the setting the dream came about, when you woke up in a normal room? You can't usually go through walls... ? I think.. :P Then you probably convinced yourself you couldnt in the dream. And because opening doors and the likeness before walking through is such a normal act in common life, it is probably subconciouslly blocking you.

Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Insead, only recognize the truth...there is no spoon. Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. --- Do not try to walk through the wall, only realize the truth, there is no wall.
"Do or do not. There is no try." -Yoda

Sincerely,
Ezekiel

Bonjour, mon adorable Zeek
Thanks for stopping by and for the advice.
I'll try remember it next LD.
Oh, sorry. There is no try.
I WILL remember it next LD.
;)

Damned headaches...before bed and when I wake up. Effecting my recall.

Jan 23 06

1-Maggots again
Just remember this part of the dream, had an itch in my nose like I had to sneeze. Went to the bathroom and blew my nose. Maggots came spraying out. I almost screamed in disgust. Looked in the mirror and they were squriming out from between my lips, out of my nose, and little skinny ones were squriming out from the corners of my eyes. I kept trying to wipe them all away but more would come out. My earlobe was itchy, I looked at it in the mirror and there were maggots trying to burst out of the earring hole there. I reached up, squeezed them out but more would take their place.

2-Val
Remember dialing the phone number - 445-0253 - and asked whoever answered if they could give me a lift into the city. I had an appt. with a lawyer at 10 am. The guy on the phone informed me he was booked till after 10. So I hung up. Called my aunt. She refused to take me there. So...I started walking. Passed my cousin's house. She was just pulling out the driveway. She offered to give me a lift. I hopped in and right away she started bragging about how wonderful it is to be married, how wonderful it is to have a son with the guy, how great their new house and truck are. I wanted to drag her ass out onto the highway and run her over with her wonderful new yellow truck. All I remember...her bragging about this that and the other thing, but I had to behave myself, already in trouble. Didnt' need and assault added to my charges. :mad: She's like that irl too...her and her mother.

headaches... riiight...

Headaches...yes.
Migrane flare ups for the last few days. Had one hell of a good one this morning. Hurt so bad couldn't get out of bed till 10:30 am. It's still here and harassing me, but to a lesser degree.

Jan 24 06

1-Caught
Just remember being tangled up in a massive spider web, squirming around trying to free myself, and in the process I only entangled myself all the more. Was afraid 'The Bad Man' was going to get me...knew he was coming for me. Very similar to a dream I'd had a few months ago, but this one had a deadly feel to it.

***The Bad Man...reference to a char I was thinking about before I fell asleep


2-Bike Riding DREAM # 100
Me and a bunch of people I don't know where coasting down a steep hill on bicycles. There was one guy in a shopping cart barreling down the hill too. I suddenly realized I was dreaming....woke up immediately.

Jan 25 06

Again...headache before bed. Don't reacall much of my dreams.

1- Remember ice climbing a glacier? i think it was. It started crumbling apart. Those who'd climbed ahead of me fell to their deaths.

2 - Was flipping through various books. All had blank pages. This disturbed me tremendously. Finally found an old book with words in it. Poetry. But it was written backwards, right to left. Difficult to read. I faintly remember what one of the poems said. Been struggling all morning to remember it.

3- Another dream of being at my grandmother's house. I was a kid again...about 10 or 11? Plotting to run away.


***dammit, my dream recall is steadily swirling down the toilet. :furious:

Jan 28 06

1- The World in my Sight
Walked out of a huge mall. Didn't know where I was until I hit a certain street, realized I was in Niagara Falls (again) Canada. I moved straight for the river. Got there and the water was rushing and roaring, a deep surreal and beautiful blue.
Across the rapids, on the American side of the river, I saw the Eiffel Tower, the Space Needle(seattle?) The 3 main pyramids in Giza, some Easter Island statues, the Sphinx, Stone Henge, and a few other insanely famous landmarks.
I reached for my camera bag, had to get a pic of all those monuments. To my horror I realized this that my camera bag was gone. Lost? Forgotten. I'd left it somewhere. I was frantic, almost crying that I'd lost my cameras. I retraced my steps but never found my camera bag.

2- Flytraps and Bam
Was in a plant nursery. Was walking up and down the isles looking for a specific plant (which i can't remember now). I eventually stumbled across some Venus flytraps. They moved around, serpentlike, trying to catch insects in thier jaws. I thought they looked cute and was going to buy a couple.
My sister appeared from out of no where and showed me a button with a picture of Bam Margera on it. Said she was going to steal it...and she did. She took off with it and left me standing there to deal with the store owner, who rushed up and accused me of stealing the stupid button.
I tried to explain that I hated Bam, and that I wouldn't risk a criminal record over something so stupid but she didn't believe me. She threatened to call the police. I just left. Pissed that one of my sisters had gotten me into trouble again.

3- Shaving
Remember rubbing my legs, thinking that they needed a good shave. I was too lazy to do it though. Ran a bath and soaked in it for a while. A short time later, some guy comes in and offered to shave my legs for me. So I let him.
After my legs, he offered to shave some other body parts for me. I thought about it for a bit then decided to let him........and some fun stuff happened shortly there after.


*** :wink: thanks Zeek.

Jan 30 06

1- Death Party
Walked down an old dusty road. Came to my aunt's house. There was a huge party happening. Across the road, there was a church and some sort of gathering happening there too.
I went to my aunt's and asked what was going on. She said we were celebrating the dead. Having a party to honor those who had passed away in our family. I looked around, and saw that all my deceaced relatives were seated at the head table. It didn't seem strange in the least.
Everyone was partying, dancing, eating, having fun. I wasn't in a party type mood, so I just roamed around watching everyone else. My uncle, (a deceaced one) came up to me and shoved a plate full of food at my face. He tried to convince me to eat something. Told me to quit being such a snobby bitch. This made me laugh. Then he laughed, sounded so good to hear his laughter again. I shoved him away and told him to go get me a drink. I was really thirsty but not hungry. He called me an alcholic or a chronic or something and laughed again then left. I remember feeling...overjoyed to be able to hear his hyena like laughter.
Time passed. All the sudden, from across the street, a bunch of my little cousins, nieces and nephews came stampeding out of the church. My aunt came up behind them, yelling that they'd just robbed the house of God!!!
A short time later, some church goers came across and started arguing with my family. They told us that God would strike each and every member of our family down for thieving from a church. Most of my kin just laughed at this. Then, they started trying to exorcise the demons out of the entire batch of us since were partying with dead people.
At some point, the church burst into flames, and everyone started laughing. The embers from the fire floated over to our party and rained down on it. But no one seemed to care. We continued with the party even though it was literally raining fire onto us.
I was more interested then, in the actions of the church folks, watching them try to put out the fire. I sat on the front step watching them scramble around like ants trying to save their anthill. That 's what it reminded me of.

***just realized that when I dream of my deceaced relatives, they are always trying to make me eat something. So far, my Grandmother, my aunt Bev and my Uncle Brad. And prior to keeping this journal, I've had many similar dreams.


2-Photo. Class
Was in a classroom. A basement classroom. Everyone was adjusting their cameras. They had new digital cams. I had my trusty SLR. I didn't care though. Didn't mind taking the extra time to actaully measure the light and set my camera accordingly.
A nude model came in. Everyone whipped right through the photo shoot. When it came to me, I had to actually do a little work and calculation to get my shots. Could hear people sighing like they were bored. Told them to shut the fuck up and play with their stupid little digital cameras if they were so bored.
Finally shot a couple of rolls of film. Had the model all bent up in odd positions, did close up abstract kind of shots. Black and white.
Sat at my desk and was about to pop the roll of film out of theback of the camera but the teacher came up to me and just stood there. I looked up and it was a robot. (the robot from Clone High cartoon, Mr. Butlertron? hahaha) It struck me as odd, and I'm certain I was about to go lucid, but a huge clock on the wall started buzzing. The words...GO... GET OUT NOW... GO were written across the top of it. I woke up.

Jan 30 06


1- Was driving the old blue malibu my aunt sold me a few years back. I raced (tried to race, the car seemed horribly slow) down Mohawk Road. Once I turned onto Town Line Road, the car moved faster. I was in a hurry to get to my cousin's house. Her boyfriend had something I needed? I don't know what it was he had, but it was important.
Got to her house, and I noticed it was different. It was twisted akwardly towards the road, and it seemed as if the eastern corner of the house was sinking down into the earth? The entire house was very skewed and sharply angled looking.
I rushed to the side door, and the door was gone. In it's place was a wedding veil like piece of cloth. My cousin's daughter came to the door and asked what I wanted. I told her I needed to see her step-dad. He had something I needed. The kid told me that he was gone. Said he was never going to come back. Didn't know where he went
I literally felt like crying because whatever I needed was lost. The guy could be anywhere in North America. But then it dawned on me. He wasn't just anywhere. He'd gone back to Rochester NY. Whatever it was that I needed, it was in Rochester NY!!! It was like a lightning strike revelation.

***Woke up immediately after that realization, 1:33am, with Rochester NY stuck in my head



2-The Otherside?
Was canoing. The earth rose steeply on either side. I caught occasional glimpses of buffalo or bison strolling lazily about in the grass. Saw a few deer, even cattle in some spots grazing on the steeply sloped river bank. Caught sight of a fox bounding through the grass too. It seemed more catlike than canid. None of the creatures seemed to mind my presence.
All the animals were on my left hand side. On the right side of the river, the bank was smothered with trees and vines and shrubs. I wondered why the land on one side of the river was well groomed and lively, while the other was tangled, messy and devoid of animal life. The two sides were such a stark contrast that it bewildered me.
Then there came this horrible sound. I can't even remember what it sounded like now, but it scared the hell out of me. It was like a signal that the end of the world had begun. All the animals fled. Some bounded up the slope and over out of my view. Some ran to the river and dove into it. They disappeared under the water. Suddenly I was the only creature left, and had no where to run. I was stuck in the middle of the river, and even if I made it to shore the river bank was too steep for me to climb. I glanced over the edge of the canoe, down into the river and to my amazement saw a little fox face staring back up at me. It suddenly took off, running under water as if it were in it's natural element there.
I decided then that I was going to dive into the water too. I knew I'd be safe there. But just as I made that decision, the river instantly froze up. Snow started falling. I leapt out of the canoe and ran atop the ice, began stomping and jumping on it in an attempt to burst through and fall into the safety of the water below it. But the ice was too thick. I ran along the river, franticly looking for a break or weak spot in the ice.
Eventually found a perfectly circular hole in the ice. I thought it was my salvation, but as I got closer I realized that the hole didn't go all the way through the ice. It was like someone hacked half way through and just quit. I knelt next to it and peered down. It was like a foggy window. I rubbed a clear spot and could see that all the animals were safe far below. It was like another world down under the ice. I wanted desperately to be in that safe place too but I couldn't burst through the ice. Felt like a scared little kid, sat there and wept because I was lost and alone.

***Woke up from this one, incredibly depressed feeling. It was 4:25 am.


3- Edge Dancer
Was in a lavish waiting room high up in a building. Made small talk with this white haired guy for a while. Nothing important. But he happened to look out the window to see a little kid playing on the roof top of a building below us.
Before I even had a chance to think about it, I smashed out a window and climbed out of the waiting room, scaled down the wall our my building and leapt over onto the roof where the little kid was playing. It was a girl, maybe about 3 or 4? She was in a white nightgown and socks. Her hair pitch black and really long, hung down into her face. I think she saw me and got scared, she ran down the steep roof to the very edge and started dancing there, spinning and twirling around like a ballerina. She seemed oblivious to how dangerous her situation was. She was about 3 stories up.
I inched carefully down the roof, tried to talk the little kid into coming back up. I reached out my hand to her and she cringed away, almost fell backward off the building.
She got her balance back and started dancing again. I tried to reason with her but all she kept saying was...i won't get hurt. I dance on the edge all the time... in a sing songy kind of voice. All I could do is watch her dance. Everytime I'd get too close, she'd trip up and almost fall from the building.

Feb 1 06

1- Octer's place
Was walking along southward along Mohawk Rd. Looking for something (can't remember what now). Ended up at my aunt's house, but it was different. Renovated or something. Didn't even look like her place anymore. Cautiously approached, and my Uncle came out.
I asked him why he redid the house, my aunt would be upset about what he'd done.
He told me she wasn't, and invited me in to eat. Said my aunt had prepared something especially for me.
I refused. He gave me a thermos. Don't know what was in it, but accepted it.
Something didn't feel right all the sudden, so I left. Walked northward on Mohawk this time, trying to figure out what was so wrong.

***What was so wrong...my aunt is deceased.
Another dead realative wanting for me to eat somthing.


2- Singers
Was trapped in a car. (how the hell I was trapped inside a car, I don't know) This guy appears all the sudden, looked like Tupac. He peered into the window and laughed at me. Said something about me always being stuck somewhere.
Then there came two ladies. One vaguely looked like Beyonce, the other like Mary J Blige. They started singing. I had the feeling that in the song, there was a key...or keywords...something important. But I couldn't find the key...the two singers kept trying to out do each other, drowning each other out ever little while. No matter how hard I listened, I couldn't quite make sense of what they were singing about. The lyrics were really random, sometimes absolute nonsense.

3- Out of the Blue
Was in this dumpy looking office. Some suit wearing sleazy looking guy came out of a room and started yelling. Everyone else sat there taking his shit. I stood up, told him to go fuck himself...& the argument was on. He stood over me, trying to intimidate. I only bitched back, eventually ended up kicking him in his prominantly protruding gut. I suddenly felt like I'd done something horribly horribly wrong...and left.
Sat outside the building, looking up at the sky. It was vibrant, cloudless blue. Seemed perfect?
Suddenly this tall young guy was standing beside me. I looked up at him, I remember being instantly attracted to his eyes. They were the same color blue as the sky. He leaned down to me and started kissing me. I opened my mouth and his tongue instantly invaded. I pulled away suddenly, shocked by his tongue stud. I'd never kissed anyone with a pierced tongue before...and really liked it. So I grabbed him and started kissing him again, savagely. Kept wondering what that piercing would feel like on other parts of my body. I think we would have went at it right there in public..if I hadn't woke up.

Feb 2 06

1- Strange Vacation
Me and some guy were being led through narrow halls, up steep, just as narrow stairs to our room. The man leading us was small bent and brown skinned. He wore an odd blue and white striped hat that reminded me of an acorn cap.
We got to our room. Except for 2 beds and one night table, it was completely barren. The two guys left me alone. Shortly after a hefty woman in a bikini top and short shorts came into the room. Following her came a scrawney meek looking guy. The woman snooped around my room then flopped onto the waterbed. The man joined her. They started bouncing around on the bed, the woman turned to me and said, "Have you put this to use yet. Imagine the ride you'd get from this." She then crawled onto the skinny guy and started bouncing violently on top of him. She then ripped off her bikini top and continued bouncing. I was terribly embarassed. Moved to the other side of the room and looked out the window. After a while, I looked back to the water bed, relieved to see that my visitors were gone.
I crept out of my room and to the one at the very end of the hallway. Two young girls were in there singing to a tiny karioke machine. They asked me to sing along...I told them I don't sing. Not anymore. They didn't believe me, dragged me into the room and somehow, got me singing. Actually enjoyed myself. Happened to look out the window and saw the Brownman and my Escort arguing on the street below. I dropped the microphone and left the singing girls though they begged me to stay.
Got outside to discover Escort and the Brownman were arguing about transportation. Escort was livid, wanted a car, said that he booked at that hotel because the brochure specified a means of transportation was provided to each and every client. Brownman said the brochure never specified a car, or a mechanical vehicle of any sort. Then he patted a beautiful black horse on it's rump. "This is the only transportation I have to offer."
I dragged Escort away from Brownman, told him we would walk to where ever we needed to go. I'd prefer to walk anyway. But Escort was really angry, couldn't be calmed. I left him alone to fume in solitude. Wandered around the side of the building. Heard music. I passed a darkened room wherein a man was strumming a guitar and singing. I knew the song and sang it with him. The guy looked at me in amazement as we sang together. He stopped singing suddenly...and let me finish the song on my own. He stood and pointed at me. "How did you know that song? I just wrote it a couple of days ago. It's not even finished. You just finished it for me."
I backed away, shrugged. Admitted I didn't know how I knew it. I just did. He came out of the darkened room, towards me. I backed away again. He kept asking how I knew the song, wanted to sing it with me again. I turned and left, the guy followed, practically begging me to sing with him, to make more songs with him. Massively creeped out, I picked up my pace and tried to ignore the guy but he followed me everywhere.


2-The Sky - Light
Was at my grandmothers. Felt claustrophobic. Opened the front door, looked to the sky. There was a gray ledge of cloud against the bright blue sky. At the very edge of the cloud was the tiny form of a man. He seemed to be a part of the clouds and at the same time, a somehow seperate being. He was also backlit by what looked like firey sunset light. Some reason, he reminded me of superman?
It as a beautiful sight. Reached for my camera to take a pic but the camera was a toy. I tossed it over my shoulder and dug through my cam bag. Pulled out a totally unfamiliar camera, it was silver and about the size of a cigarette pack. Had to figure out how the damned thing worked, and by the time I finally got the hang of it the clouds had shifted. The cloud man was out of range.
Felt defeated. Sat on the front stoop and watched the clouds drift away. My mother was there suddenly, trying to console me. I shoved her away, asked, "When the hell did you start to give a fuck?"
She backed away, covered her face and wept.
Looked across the road. The clouds decended and draped over the trees like giant white silk sheets. I thought it was odd but I was feeling to detatched to give a damn.
Got up and walked around the corner. Hopped into a car and waited for the driver. He took forever, so I scanned the area. Looked up and there were 3 giant pine trees. They were like mountians, their tips covered in snow. The snow had a nice purplish tint, and against the blue sky it looked surreal. Whipped out my camera and zoomed in on the tree tops. My shutter wouldn't work. I'd forgotten to reload the camera. Slapped more film in, zoomed in on the trees again but the scene had gone too dark. The sun had set. The light had faded.
Felt really depressed. The driver finally came along. He looked like Gil Grissom from CSI. He asked me why I looked so dejected. Told him how I lost the light. He smiled and told me that it was easy to fix. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a really long phone number. All he said into it was..."My angel needs some light back."
A few seconds later, the sky brightened again. I was stunned beyond words. He told me to hurry and capture the scene before the light fades again. So I did. Shot 3 rolls of film, just of those mountianous tree tops. The light slowly faded again, but I didn't care. I'd captured on film.
We both got into the car and was about to leave. I noticed a black rag on the ground. I hopped back out and went to investigate. Felt strongly that the rag wasn't supposed to be there. Gil told me to leave it. No time for distractions. I didn't listen. I kicked at the black piece of cloth. Suddenly realized I was dreaming...and woke up.


3- Killer Hornets in my Pants
Just remember a bit of this...but somehow giant Killer Hornets decided to start a new colony inside my jeans...as I was wearing them. It felt both safe and scared that they were there. They would protect me if anyone tried to attack. But I knew if I moved to suddenly or the wrong way, they might attack me. One sting is enough to kill a human.
So I was going about my daily business with a swarm of hornets crawling all over my lower half. Could feel them skittering up and down my legs. They would enter and exit through the bottoms of my jeans.

Feb 3 06

1- Blue Man
Just remember a bit, me (I think I was a kid) and this large black guy were running through a dense forest. Don't know who or what we were running from but felt it was a life or death situation. Came to a patch of pine trees, similar to the ones that I used to play in at my grandmother's. When inside the group of trees, we felt safe.
The man and I sat, he suddenly thrust a hand full of plants towards me. Don't know what they were, they were twiggy and their ends were splayed out (kind of like mini straw brooms). The plants were green with very faint a purplish or pinkish undercolor to them. I took the some of the plants and stuffed them into my shorts pocket.
A while later, a little girl could be heard in the distance yelling, "I saw the blue man run this way."
Me and the guy ran again. Eventually came out of the trees and into a grassy meadow. As soon as the guy stepped out into the sunlight, I saw he was actually blue, not black. It was like the guy had been stained by the shadows we had been running through. The longer he stayed in the light, the bluer he became, like the sunlight was scouring the shade from his flesh. He pointed for me to run in a separate direction. I did.


2- Shapeshifter
Made my way up a steep hill to the mansion. When I got there, I sneaked in through a basement window. Somehow, I shifted into the shape of a man. Went upstairs.
A huge party was happening, like a ball. Everyone dressed in their finest. I followed this small blond chick down a hallway. When alone, I punched her behind her ear and knocked her out. Dragged her back to the cellar and shoved her down the stairs. Followed her down, took her dress and shifted to look like her. Didn't like being blond, so shifted back into myself.
Made my way through the mansion, up several flights of stairs. Came to a set of ornately carved doors. Knocked, and after a few minutes a disheveled looking guy answered. I apologized for interupting, then kicked the door open. There was a half naked woman sprawled on the bed inside. Won't go into details, but I inventively killed the guy, then stalked over to the woman. She looked like a hooker. Grabbed her by the hair and dragged her from the bed. Gave the whore the option of killing herself in whichever way she chose, or let me kill her in whichever way i chose. Either way, her death would be means of entertainment for me. She chose to off herself, and did, while I watched her die.
After that, I shifted into a man and swiped a tux from the room. Found the lady of the manor, (slightly resembled me, but taller) stripped her naked and tied her up. Dragged her by the hair to the ball room and shoved her into the midst of the dancing. She lay squirming on the floor, and i shifted back into myself (purely for the shock factor). Was dressed in skin clinging black latex with thin gold chains dangling like nipple tassels from my breasts. There was also gold chains woven down the sides of the latex leggings? I was wearing.
I put one foot on the bound naked lady to hold her still. "Any heros in the house!" I yelled into the cowering crowd of dancers. "Come on...there's got to be at least one person here brave enough to try save this bitch!"
No one responded, which of course, angered me. "Come on!" I yelled, "You outnumber me for christ's sake. You all going to let this bitch die?"
No one answered again. So I set to work killing Lady while everyone else just stood there crying and cowering.

***You and latex G...you brought that up purposefully last night, didn't you... :P



3- Church Concert
Was watching a concert at an unfamiliar church. The place was dark except for the stage, which was insanely bright. I watched all the acts, not saying a word but wanting to get the hell out of the place.
Don't know how, but I ended up next to the stage. This woman shoved me out onto it. The lights stung my eyes, thought they were going to burn right out of my eyesockets. Rummaged around for my sunglassed and put them on.
The woman off the side of the stage was motioning for me to hurry and start. I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do and stood there stupidly staring out into the dark crowd.
After an embarassingly long time, I stepped up to the microphone, took it from the stand, then turned my back to the crowd of church goers. Without musical accompanyment, I sang Alone I Break, by Korn. And sang it slightly out of tune too. But I didn't care. When I finished, there was absolute silence.
I stepped from the stage and this woman rushed up and hugged me. Someone I'd met online. I was shocked to see her. She lives on the other side of the country. She took my hand and lead me from the church, as everyone else stared at me like I was some sort of freak.
Got outside and D disappeared. I woke up, with Alone I Break stuck in my mind. It still is.


4-Cropland (tree-rabbits)
Me and someone else walked through a neatly kept orchard. The trees looked like huge weeping mulberry trees. Squeezed tightly together up in each tree were hundreds of rabbit like creatures. But they weren't rabbits. They had huge round koala-ish ears and long curved talons at the end of their paws.
I started poking at the 'tree-rabbits' with a long stick. Tried to knock one out of the tree for a closer look. The person I was with kept telling me to stop, but I was too determined to get one of the creatures.
Somehow I ended up in the midst of the tree, surrounded by the creatures. I reached out to the tree-rabbits and they let me pet them. Suddenly one gave out a shrill warning cry. The creatures all leapt down from the trees and raced away by the hundreds, maybe thousands, into a farmer's field nearby. I slid out of the tree and followed.
Once in the field, there was nowhere to hide. I was too large to fit under the plants, so I just laid between two rows of plants. A few seconds later one of the tree-rabbits leapt over me and dashed off. I got up and followed it to a double row of forsythia that had grown together into what looked like one wide plant.
The rabbit charged into a small tunnel through the branches of the shrubs. I followed, squeezed into the passage and arm-crawled as far as I could. Suddenly got the feeling that I was being watched by something huge. Though I couldn't see it, I knew there was a giant snake at the end of the tunnel. I wasn't exactly scared, but still didn't have the desire to come face to face with a giant reptile. I tried to back out of the tunnel but could only get so far. My clothes kept getting snagged on the branches. So I forced apart the tangled branches beside me and climbed out that way.
Came out into another field, this one was muddy and barren. I tried to walk through it but my feet kept getting stuck in the mud. Heard a tractor coming up behind me. Had a hard time trying to out run it, but eventually did. Looked back to see how close the vehicle had come and saw that the guy driving the tractor only had half a face. There was a cavernous black hole in the left side of his head...he fell to the ground and his head sort of deflated or melted?
Beside me, was a familar apple tree, the one on my grandmother's property. I stepped onto her land, it was green and firm, unlike the muddy field I'd just struggled through. Went to enter my grandmother's house but a plywood fence had been built around the entire house. I searched for a way in but could find none.

Feb 4 06

Don't remember much right now...

1- ManSlaves
Was in what would be a beautiful house but it was really messy. Had a couple of guys cleaning the place up for me.

2- Serpents
Basicly, just remember having sex with two huge snakes that were wrapped and tangled around me. :?

3- Cavalier
Recall trying to drive the piece of crap Cavalier I used to own. It kept stalling every few feet.
My mother came along and offered me a ride. Told her to get lost, I'd rather walk.


***Also kept waking up last night in a really worried state. Anxious & afraid for someone.

Feb 5 06

1- Line Up DREAM #125
I was looking down on what looked like a town from an old western movie. A lone man with a huge gun was walking out of town. At some point I had decended, was being bound by two other men. They dragged me along after them, following the first guy who had left.
Got to a flat part of the landscape. There was a line of about...I don't know...30 or so people ahead of us. Every one of them were facing away from us. They stood tall and proud, almost statuesque.
The original guy tuned to me and asked me a question (which I can't remember now). He said that he would shoot a person in the line up for every second I didn't answer. Then immediatly shot the first person.
I couldn' answer him, didn't know the answer. Tried to tell him this but he didn't believe me. He shot a person every few seconds. When they were all dead, they dragged me to a shallow river and tried to drown me.


2- Demon
Was running from something. Didn't know what but it frightened me terribly. For whatever reason, I thought that if I got across the river in the distance, my persuer wouldn't be able to follow. It couldn't cross running water.
Got into the river and turned to see who or what was chasing me. A huge demonlike creature raced after me but stopped at the river's edge. (can't remember what the demon looked like but it scared me so badly i couldn't move) I remember feeling a wee bit of relief that it couldn't come across the water.
The demon wouldn't be deterred. He blew towards me, his breath blizzard cold, and the river froze within a few seconds. With me frozein in the middle of it.
The demon lumbered towards me and knocked me onto my back, and I was instantly frozen to the ice. He told me he needed me to bear his offspring. Said there would be 4, one waterchild, one earthchild, one firechild and one windchild.
I tried to protest but couldn't speak. Tried to get away but was frozen.
The demon inpregnated me, but not through intercourse. There was just this strange wave of cold dark energy or something that drifted from him and settled into me. And it hurt. It stung like acid was buring away my skin. Then he was gone.
From out of nowhere a guy, who kind of looked like Hugh Jackman, came and hacked me out of the ice. He helped me away from the river. Said he was sent to save me, but it was too late. I could feel the things growing inside me.

:?

Feb 6 05

1-Bev & Wayne
1- Was at my (deceaced) aunt's house. Her old house. A party was happening, my aunt was in the dining room cutting a huge cake. She offered me some but I didn't want any. Her husband (who also has passed on) told me to shut up and eat something. I refused again. Didn't feel like eating.
Ended up outside where I ran into my brother. He showed me a shiney rock he had found, asked me repeatedly what kind it was. I think he thought it was valuable, but I was pretty sure it wasn't. Just a rock with specks of crystal sparkling in it. He followed me around, harassing me, trying to irritate me into telling him what kind of rock it was.



2- Bedmates
Lying in bed with 2 other people. One was a female, the other male. Plus, there was another male under the bed for whatever reason. I felt really nervous about the guy under the bed, like he might decide to up and kill us all for no apparent reason.
I was trying to sleep. They were all talking about the website they were a part of. It was kind of interesting but I was really sleepy and didnt want to hear it. And they kept pulling the blankets off me.
Frustrated, I got up and left the room. Walked through the living room and heard someone say something that was really familiar. I smiled, knew who it was even though this back was to me. I ran over and tackled the guy onto the couch, held his arm up behind his back (copstyle) and pinned him there. I greeted him with..."Well, if it isn't my favorite bitch." He tried to break free but I pinned him tight and started calling him down. I even bit him a few times when he tried to be a smart ass. Think he liked being bitten though, which I guess is good because I liked biting him.
:lol:

Feb 7 05

1- Bingo
Was standing in line behind a bunch of kind of scruffy looking people. Others in the line were trying to talk to me but I ignored them. Didn't want to converse. Finally got to the front of the line only to purchase bingo tickets.
Left. Got back to my table and only then noticed that my bingo sheets were missing some of the numbers. I stood up and yelled and ranted about being ripped off. Went back and stood in line forever again to get to the cashier. Showed her the missing numbers on my tickets. She said she could do nothing about it. It was my problem.
I left, and she yelled after me to write in my own numbers on the ticket. It might work. I shook my head doubtfully. Stupid idea. Left the place all together.

***Hate this dream. Hate bingo. Can't believe my dreamtime was wasted on something as stupid as bingo.


2- Dakota
Don't remember verymuch more than I was talking to a guy I met on line. He kept refering to Dakota. Can't remember if he was refering to a person, place or thing named Dakota.
Left with Dakota slightly stuck in my mind though. Walked down the road to the corner of 3rd line and Mohawk road. An old junky looking blue, white and black Sanford and Son-ish type truck flew through the intersection. The back of it was crammed full of red barrels. The barrels caught my attention. Don't know why, but I watched the truck until it disappeared into the distance. Thought I should follow it and find out what was in the barrels. So turned and tried to trail the truck.


3-Heaven
I was lying on my roof looking up at the overcast sky at night. Wished viciously that it would clear up so I could see the stars. Seemed like I hadn't seen the stars for years.
A few moments later, the clouds parted, almost like huge curtians being drawn back. The stars were there and brilliant. It was such a beautiful sight that it brought tears to my eyes. Just laid there appreciating heaven. Felt peaceful. Relaxed.

Feb 9 06

1- Rotting Mansion
Living in a mansion w/ my bf and a few others. The house was huge, bright and spotless. Perfect.
I made a vegitarian dinner and placed it on the long dining room table. Above the table was an obscenely huge but elegant chandelier. I moved to my seat at the head of the table and just happened to look up at where the tip of the wall met the ceiling. Parts of the ceiling had worn or broken away, reavealing the moldy and rotten framework of the house. I pointed it out to my bf, asked him repeatedly if he could fix it. He only told me not to worry about it. It was okay. But I didn't like it. I wondered if the rest of the house frame was just as old and rotten.
Everyone else started eating. I couldn't. Felt uneasy, imagined that the huge chandelier would come unloosened from the worn ceiling and crush us all. I had everyone help me move the table out from under the light fixture.
One person was upset by this. She wanted to eat under the chandelier. I told her she could go sit under it if she wanted, but I wasn't about to move the table back. She became angry with me. I ignored her.
Everyone else merrily ate their dinner. I sat there worrying about the stability of the house.


2- Attempted B&E
I strolled around the bend that leads to my home. Saw a suspicious looking guy lurking around my property. I sneaked through the neighbor's back yard and came up behind my house, let myself in through the back door.
Paranoid as ever, I went through every room of the house checking and rechecking to see if the windows and doors were locked. Checked the closets and cupboards to be sure that no one was hiding in them. Even checked the dryer about 3 times. After an extended period of frantic searching, I was finally satisified that no one had broken into my house.
I peeked out the front window and saw that the guy was still milling about outside. He came up to the side of the house many times, as if trying to work up a bit of nerve to do something. Finally, he came up to the front window, the very same that I was watching him from, and tried to pry it open. I backed away, grabbed the aluminum baseball bat kept by the front door, and quickly stepped outside. The guy cringed back. I smiled and told him if he wants in, he'll have to go through me first. I pointed the bat at him and dared him to break into my house.
The guy left quickly, yelling and muttering obscenities as he did. I retreated to my sometimes fortress of solitude, slightly disappointed that he backed down so easily. Was kind of looking forward to smashing his face in.


3- Lucidity and Breakthru
Half ass woke up early this morning and ordered myself to fall back to sleep. A few seconds later, a sky type scene seemed to drop down towards me from out of blackness. Just before the scene enveloped my entire vision, I woke up again.
Re-ordered myself to sleep. The same thing happened. A scene dropped down and settled all around me. It was my bedroom. I laughed to myself because I knew I was dreaming. I thought..."Yesssss....lucid finally!"
(Heard music this entire dream, sometimes loudly, sometimes barely there. A waltz I think? Was listening to a classical music station)
I lay still for a few seconds and let the scene become more solid. When it did, I instantly rolled out of bed, stretched and looked around. I suddenly wondered if I was lucid dreaming or astral projecting. I deduced that if I was AP-ing, I would be able to move through the wall. So, just like the last time I became lucid, I became obsessed with trying to move through a wall. I kept shoving the palm of my hand againt it trying to force it through. Wouldn't go. Walked down the hall way sporadicly punching at the wall hoping my hand might slip through. It didn't.
Next, tried to project myself to somewhere else. The first place that came to mind was my grandmother's house. With all my will, I imagined her house and wished to be there. Nothing happened again. "No AP, must be a LD." I said out loud, then realized that I should be able to wish myself to my grandmother's even in an LD. Tried to again and nothing happened.
Strolled through the kitchen, j passed me by. He didn't seem to notice me at all. Shrugged and continued to the dining room. Looked in the large mirror and noted that I had slightly wavey and wild looking hair. Moved through the living room then to the front door. Tried to force my hand through the metal. Couldn't. It was a major piss off not being able to move through solid objects.
Was about to use the door nob to let myself out when I glanced at the long narrow window beside the door. I stood in front of it and looked outside. Suddenly wondered if I could move through glass. I pushed my fingers against the window and with much effort they began to slip through the glass. It kind of felt like...shoving my fingers into a sponge? Closest I can come to describing it. Anyway, Continued to force myself through the window until I was completely outside. Moving through glass was one of the freakiest sensations I think I've ever experienced in a dream. Was so happy to have ghosted through something that I stood on my porch laughing like a damned lunatic.
Felt so confident that I pointed to the sky and yelled, "I'm coming for you next!", determined to fly this time.
Jumped off my porch and willed myself to fly. As in my last lucid dream, I could ascend no problem but could not move horizontally. I decended hard, only then noticing I was barefoot. The ground was lightly covered with snow. Could feel the cold ,but it didn't bother me.
Stood for a while, thinking back to my earliest flying dreams. In them I would run and dive into the air like superman. Only, I wouldn't lift off. I'd fall back down and just before I'd crash into the ground I'd zoom parallel to the ground for a few seconds and then and up. Decided to try that method again to see if it would work.
It wouldn't work at first. I plopped onto my stomach about 5 or 6 times before I finally caught in the air. Tried to rise but discovered I could only fly 10 ft or so off the ground. Didn't mind. Was happy to be flying again.
Suddenly remembered something I'd read on DV, about a 'flying pill'... a placebo, I thought, then laughed remembering that I'd talked to Him earlier. "That's what I need. A placebo will take me higher."
I ran up the front stairs, forced myself through the window instead of using the door. Had the intention of turning one of my vitamins into a flying pill but, to my horror, my mother was sitting on the couch in the living room. She completely derailed my train of thought. All I asked was 'Wtf are you doing here?"
She got up and moved towards me, apparently speaking but I couldn't quite hear her. She tried to hug me. I opened the and shoved her outside. "Stay the fuck out!" I yelled then watched her walk away.
After a while, my thoughts returned to the pill. But then the music stopped. It was like my dream just shut off. Woke up suddenly, was wide awake.

***That waltz was stuck in my head all day. Have to find out what it's called. Maybe some way to use it to trigger another LD?
***Also now wanting to walk through a mirror just to see what happens.

Feb 10 05

1-Court Date
Was at court. Couldn't find my lawyer and I felt on the verge of snapping. Went before the judge and represented myself (felt like a complete moron) but bs'ed my way through it. The case was thrown out, i was dismissed. Got outside to the truck only to discover all four tires had been slashed.
Out of the courthouse came the people who accused me of commiting 'the crime'. Just so happened they were parked beside us, their tires had been slashed too. They blamed us...we blamed them. A shouting match ensued. My bf tried to mediate but I was too enraged to be civil. The accusers eventually left. I got into the truck and sat there contemplating revenge.


2- Kid & Storm
In the midst of a thunderstorm looking for shelter. Ran into a kid, ended up yellling at him for reasons I can't recall now.


3- Florist
Went into a plant nursery looking for some ivy. Couldn't find any. Asked the cashier for help, she tried to sell me fake silk ivy. I wouldn't go for it and she tried to talk me into buying some other plant, which I could tell was made of plastic. Left the place with nothing, but needing to find ivy.
Ran into my cousin who was looking to purchase some vhs movies. I told her I only buy DVD's anymore. We got into this stupid debate about which is better.