Thread: ~ Vex Kitten's Journal 05/06 ~

#1-Locked Out
A cold, constant wintry wind seemed to cut right through me. The night was pitch black except for a couple of faint rectangular glimmers of warm light in the distance. I hurried to them, sloshing through icy puddles the entire time. My feet and pants, from the knees down, were drenched and frozen. I knew I would die if I didn't find shelter.

I eventually reached the rectangles of light. They were the illuminated windows of my aunt's old house. I felt a rush of relief. My aunt had always helped me in times of desparation. I hurried to the front entrance and staggered up the stairs. I reached for the door nob only to discover it wasn't there. Upon closer inspection...there was no door. Only siding. I was frustrated but not discouraged. I would simply go to the back door.

As I made my way around the house, I tried to peer into the windows. They were too high for me to look into. The light that shone from them looked so warm. I was hurting to get inside. When finally I reached the back door, to my horror, it was gone too. I rushed all around the house a few times, tromping through ice crusted puddles, looking for any sign of entry. There were none. No way in. The windows were too high to climb into. Crushed, I felt like I would die right then and there.

I ran back to where the front door used to be. I began pounding and kicking the siding. I knew there was a door hidden behind it. There had to be. I was so frustrated and afraid that I was screaming and crying as I started to pry the siding from the house. It was nearly impossible to do. My fingers were numb and kept slipping. A few times the tips of my fingers caught on and were cut by sharp pieces of the siding I'd managed to tear away. I didn't stop. I was hell bent on getting to that door. I didn't care that I looked like a maniac or that my fingers were torn and bloodied.

***I don't recall anything past that. I never made it through to the door. Not that I can remember at the moment.


#2-The Service
I was in a church. All around me were the familiar faces of family. I felt fairly comfortable with them all there. Most listened intently to the sermon that was being given. Me, I was distracted by simpler things. I was entranced by the all the little stained glass windows. It took a while, but I suddenly realized that the stained glass windows weren't based on a religious theme. In each, there was a little dark haired figure. A female I guessed. All the scenes were odd and somewhat disturbing, though I couldn't figure out why.

Eventually my attention was drawn back to the front of the congregation. A young cousin of mine had replaced the pastor or preacher. She was reading, quite vehemently, from a large book. She sounded very much like a 'fire and brimstone' preacher. I was astounded that someone so young could sound so passionate and convincing. She held my entire atttention until I felt somone sit down beside me.

I glanced over and a tall, thin, youngish looking guy was sitting there staring at me. He smiled. Seemed friendly enough. But he was out of place. Everyone else in the church was related to me. This guy was a complete stranger. He held out his fist toward me, as if offering me something. As he did, I got the feeling that he didn't want anyone to know what he was doing. I reached out and he let a tiny pink foil-ish slip of paper drop into my hand. "There's something you need to know..." he said in a secretive whisper. "Meet me outside." He then left suddenly.

I looked down at the slip of paper and there was on it. I looked a little closer at it and noticed that there was a word not written on it but indented into it. It could only be seen when the paper was held at a certain angle. I can't recall now what it said. I do remember it was one word. A rather short one. And the writing wasn't the neatest...which made it difficult to read at first. After my young cousin had finished her sermon...I stood to leave...to find the strange man. But the preacher told us all to sit back down. He'd forgotten to mention something. We all obeyed.

One of my other cousins slid into the pew beside me. She stared droning on and on about something which I could care less about. My thoughts were only on the stranger and his message. I felt anxious to get out of that building to find him. Actually, it was beyond anxious. I felt desperate to get the the guy. I was afraid he'd leave if I didn't find him soon.

***I don't think I got to him. I don't remember ever leaving the church. I was trapped there by both the preacher and my cousin blabbing constantly on.

***On another note, after waking, I realized why the stained glass windows held my fascination. They portrayed scenes from my life!! That's probably why I found them to be somewhat disturbing.

#1-Saved by a Graveyard
I was walking through a city, one that vaguely reminded me of Niagara Falls NY. The streets were clogged with vehicles, honking and people yelling. It was like prime tourist season or something. All the noise gave me a headache. I hated the crowds of pushing people. The exhaust fumes from the vehicles was the worst. Every so often I couldn't seem to catch my breath.

I walked, rather hurridly, with a group of three men but I stayed a few steps ahead. A powerful sense of anxiousness was about me...like I was going to be late for something. The men were behind chatting and laughing and relaxed. They kept telling me to slow down. Being stubbornly defiant as I am, I just moved all the faster. I was mildly pissed that they were so calm about everything. I didn't care if they kept up with me. I just needed to get to an unknown important somewhere.

I don't know where I was headed, but I knew that there was a shortcut through a grave yard. (the same one I used to short cut through to get to school when I lived in Niagara Falls) The men all objected. Said it wasn't safe. I tried to persuade them otherwise, telling them that I cut through the cemetary all the time. They didn't believe me and they opted to take the long way around. So they left walking down the sidewalk. I didn't care. They were useless baggage anyway.

I started climbing the tall chainlink fence. When I got to the top and swung my leg over to the other side, I peered up the sidewalk to the departing trio of men. They were just crossing the street. From out of no where A big blue cube truck barreled around the corner and run them all down. I could hear the sickening dull thud of their bodies slamming into the front of the truck. My stomach turned and I felt faint. I was so shocked that I fell from the top of the fence and nearly smacked my head off an old worn and white tombstone.

I laid on the ground for a long time, thinking that I should feel horrified...or at least a little sad about what had happened. But I felt nothing. Actually, I felt a tiny sense of relief that they were gone. Finally.


#2-Tied
I woke up, feeling horrendously drowsy, like I was drugged. Everything seemed move in slow motion. I looked up and there was the face of a strange man hanging right in front of mine.

"Wakey wakey." he said with a demented grin. His eyes were dark and lightless. They reminded me of shark eyes, black and dull and flat. I know I should have been afraid but I was too sedated to feel anything besides sleepy. The man moved back into the shadows and seemed to disappear.

I struggled to move, and realized that I was tied to a chair. Looking down, I saw that my binding appeared to be old ratty looking yarn. I thought it should be easy to break free. But I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. It wasn't till after I quit struggling that I finally realized I was naked from the waste down. That realization was one hell of a waker upper.

The man then returned. I tried to bitch at him but found I had no voice. He smiled, looked very happy to see that I was now wide awake. The man knelt in front of me and began to 'massage' me. I tried to verbally object but still couldn't speak. I tried to break free again. Couldn't. All the while, the man was not discouraged. I slowly became aroused and tried to fight the feelings, determined that I was not going to let him play me so easily.

It eventually got to the point where I couldn't fend off the feelings anymore and at that exact same moment the man leaned forward and bit hard into my thigh. The pain was so immense that it startled me awake.

[b]#1- Most Wanted
I was in a large office type room. One wall of the room was made entirely of windows.

My sister was in the room with me, cowering in a corner behind a scraggly fern-ish tropical plant. Her eyes never broke away from the windows. She looked terrified. I think were were about 3 or 4 stories up and I could't figure out what she was so afraid of. I moved to the wall of window and looked out. The building surrounded by hundreads of police cars and swat vehicles. I backed away from the window and yelled at my sister, "What the hell did you do this time!"

Instead of being concerned for my sister, my mind immediately started racing through the numerous charges I'd possibly face simply by having her in that room with me.

My sister suddenly started shrieking like she was being murdered. She pointed at the window. There was a rapelling man hanging outside of it. I grabbed my camera, ran to the window, flipped up the flash and snapped a picture. I didn't do this simply to take a photo, I'd hoped the flash would temperarily blind the spying man. And it worked...too well. The sudden flash startled him and he fell from the window.

He fell to his death. I didn't have to see it to know it was true. Again my concern turned only towards myself. I wondered if I could be charged with murder or manslaughter because of what I'd done. I turned back to ask my sister for her opinion...and she was gone. I was enraged that she would just up and eff off on me like that. I sneaked out of the building and spent the rest of the dream on the run.


[b]#2-Good 'Ol Days
I was in a run down old kitchen/dining room. An elderly bald man was there with me, looking for something for me to eat. He eventually handed me a large green pepper, said it was all he had to offer right now.

I sliced it up and ate it while he regailed me with stories of the good ol days. Most of his stories revolved around guns...the right to bear arms. Back when he was young...every house had at least 2 guns and you could shoot someone for simply stepping on your property. He told me that as soon as kid's were strong enough to pick up a gun, they were taught to use it.

I said nothing while he rambled on. His stories were rather interesting. The one thing that he said that really sticks with me, is...'Back then, we had the right to protect our loved ones and everything we held dear...by any means nessesary. Nowa days criminals got more rights than decent folks. Everything's gone helter skelter. We've lost it all..."

He continued ranting and raving after that...but I can't remember anything after the helter skelter commment. I did finish off the entire pepper though...I remember.

Hehe, you give new meaning to the sentence ''write whole books about your dreams''

Letehn, I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. So I'll just assume it's the better of the two.


#1-Zombiemania
This one happened like the typical zombie movie. The usual mobs of rotting, stumbling and staggering, hungry for flesh, undead were chasing me. Had no weapons with which to defend myself. Had to rely on speed and smarts. There were a few close calls where I was nearly caught.

There were other non-zombies. Some pleaded to me to help or go find help for them. I ignored them. The only creature I was concerned about was myself. (again)

I eventually barricaded myself in a huge abandoned mansion. All the furniture was covered in drop cloths. Cobwebs and dust were everywhere. Another typical horror movie type setting. I tried to find a weapon of some sort but didn't have the time to scrounge through the house. The zombies broke through the windows and crawled in after me.

I ended up in locked in the highest level of the house...the attic I think. It was a huge room lined with bookshelves on each side. Each shelf was jammed full of archaic looking texts. Despite the fact that my life was in danger, I had this insane urge to flip through some of the books just to see what was in them. There was one large window at the other end of the attic. I ran to it and the closer I got to it...the more it shrank. By the time I got there it was barely big enough for me to squeeze through.

The zombies burst into the attic suddenly so I smashed out the tiny window and slipped through it, feet first. I dangled half in and half out of the window, wondering if I would survive the 3 story drop. As I hung there, the zombies started pulling the books from the shelves. Some threw them to the floor, some ripped them to shreds, some tried to eat them. I was enraged at the sight. So much so that i was tempted to crawl back in the window and kick some undead ass. But I slipped from the window. I landed on my feet, uninjured, so I fled.

Salvation came in the form of a black truck. Inside of it, the keys dangled in the ignition. I climbed in and started it up, shifted into drive and eased my foot down on the gas pedal. Instead of going forward, the truck rolled backward. I slammed on the brake and checked to be sure I was in drive...which I was. I tried to drive off again and again the truck moved backwards. I was so frustrated that I started swearing up a storm. The stupid truck stayed locked in reverse.

***after waking and thinking about this dream, I realized that if only I had put the truck into reverse, it would have moved forward.


[b]#2-Skinny Dipping
Only recall bits of this dream. I was on the shore of a muddy looking river. It was a horrible, unhealthy looking shade of brown. A bunch of people stood along the shore too. They all had wanted to swim but were afraid.

For whatever reason, I stripped naked and dove into the water. Once treading water in the middle of the river, I yelled back for everyone else to come in, told them it was safe. But no one would join me no matter how much I tried to convince them that the water was safe to swim in. So I simply enjoyed swimming alone.

(posted these today cuz I didn't have time to yesterday)

Whoa, your dream recall is superb. I can only hope to remember one dream a week. Good job with the recordings, although I think some of your dreams are just weird, but mine probably weird as well, hehehe. How do you record dreams? Keep up the good work.

Hi Valvo.

About my recall, I've always had really vivid dreams. I think there's a catch to having such detailed dreams though. (in my case) I have vivid dreams for about a week or two then I hit a dryspell of a week or so inbetween. I feel totaly empty during the dry spells. Like a small part of me is missing. I don't know how else to describe the feeling.

And yes, I have some twisted dreams. But I like 'em twisted. The stranger the dreams are the easier they are to remember. I used to record them every morning but it became too tedious. Now I just jot down a word or two in my home journal. This is usally enough to help me recall more of the dream later.

Hope you're having luck with your dreams.




~Vex~

Have had trouble sleeping lately so haven't recalled any signifcant dreams. But finally...

Gotta be a Dream
I was on the sandy shore of a wide river. People were swimming and having fun. I just sat in the sun and basked in the warmth...alone.

I started digging my feet into the sand. After a while I had dug out a small pit in which my feet rested. People came by and stood around me looking down into the hole in sand. Some of their faces looked horrified. Some were amazed. So I sat up and looked down into the pit too.

It was full of baby crocodiles. They were all looking up out of the hole with their mouths wide open, ready to attack anything that moved. So I froze. I didn't feel like having my feet chewed to shreds by the little mosnters. As I stared at the little glistening fangs of one of the crocs, it suddenly occured that this whole scene was absurd. "This had gotta be a dream." I said then smiled up at the people surrounding me. "Gotta be a dream."

Fully aware that I was dreaming, I forced away the scene. It was difficult at first, but it soon drifted away like a puff of smoke into blackness. A new scene appeared. I was in my room, asleep, but I could see everything as if i were awake. Immediately a bunch of info I'd read on this sight began filtering through my mind. "What to do..what to do..what to do.." I repeatedly asked myself as a way to stay focused.

Suddenly it hit me. "I"m going to slip into someone else's dream," I said out loud. The first name that popped into my mind was John, so I said his name out loud repeatedly. I suddenly felt as if something snapped open in my forhead. I felt my self rising out of my body. I was half afraid but let it happen just to see what would happen.

I kept repeating 'John...John..." and suddenly I was ripped away from my room and looking down at the earth from miles above. Thin whisps of cloud obscured my view, but I could make out the shape of North America. I was so amazed by the sight that I almost lost focus...I started yelling out the name John and immediately plummeted back to earth, this time farther down into the United States.

I fell into a house...into a large darkened room. I turned to observe the room, tried to focus on something unusual that I would remember. It was too dark to make anything out. There were tons of pictures all over the walls but I couldn't see who they were pictures of. So I turned to the bed...and could make out a sleeping form there. I glided over to the sleeper and asked, "John...can you hear me? Can you feel me?" I reached out to touch him but in my excitement, lost control of my focus. The room began disappear a bit at a time. I struggled to keep it in view but in the end it all faded to black.

I felt as if I fell through eternity and slammed back into my own body. And it hurt. It was an almost electric feeling. I awoke, shivering with excitement and fear.

***Tried to go back to sleep after this but was too giddy or something.
Woo hoo...my first lucid since joing DV...

Craaazy Props ! That's Awesome!

^_^ Keep up the good work,
Ezekiel

Thanks Ezekiel. Glad you stopped in to take a little peek the inner twistedness of my mind. Oh...luv your avatar btw. Im a closet astronomy demi-geek.


Napped this afternoon after posting here. This is what I dreamed.

I was walking along the edge of a large pond. It was so still and smooth that it was like a mirror. Willows surrounded it on the far side. It was like an Eden.

I think it was late summer...had that feel to it. I enjoyed the peaceful sensation and the gorgeous scenery...until I stumbled upon a disturbing sight. There was a big bright green praying mantis devouring a bull dog. The dog was half eaten, only from the ribs up was left of it. And..it was still alive. It was staring up at me with these big sad eyes.

I was both disgusted and amazed and couldn't tear my eyes from the sight. I felt so bad for the dog but couldn't bring myself to do anything to help it. I was too...entranced?...by what was happening. I could only stand there stupidly and watch.

At some point, the mantis must have had enough of the dog because it turned it's eyes in my direction. I could feel it staring at me...sizing me up. I started to back away, very slowly. The mantis dropped the dog and came skittering after me. I tripped over something as I backed away and was too frightened to move as the mantis closed in. I remember thinking...I'm a goner.

Then from out of nowhere, a giant terantula like spider leapt onto the mantis and injected it with venom. The praying mantis immediatly died. I thought I was safe...till the spider turned in my direction and kind of strolled towards me. I was so scared that I woke up, my stomach was in knots.

***I realize that the inspiration for this dream most likely came from mentioning the pink praying mantis thing to Ezekiel...and the woof woof bark thing...in a different section of this site. Think I'll have to be careful of what I say from now on. This dream was really really freaky.

-.- Sorry for causing that ---

Vex Kitten: To ezekiel7 : Hey, Welcome...are you refering to what I think you're referring to about Placebo? If yes...bark once. If no...bark twice. [/b]

ummm... *
*Bark's once...* *Gets confused* *Bark's twice* *gets more confused* *barks once again*.... *
I meant... if he can do a late welcome so can I... *bark bark? * Bark... *

roof, *
Ezekiel
[/b]

Vex Kitten: *
LOL! *

Yeah...i know what you meant. *
I just wanted to make someone else bark for me. *
[/b]

Guess that's what you get?

Vex Kitten:
Hi Ezekiel. *
Welcome. *

I'm really lazy with the actual writing down of dreams stuff too. When I wake up I don't want to do anything but go back to sleep. *

If I recall my dream upon awakening...I pick out a really weird or prominant image from the dream...like a giant pink preying mantis...
[/b]

Ok ! Now for tonight think :

Bill Gates lost his credit card and pin number, and I'm in the mall, and maybe you will have a better dream !

Sincerely,
Ezekiel

hehe, wanted to give you something to remember when you come back to this

Edit: Thank you about the Avatar ^_^, I explained in my umm Dream Interpretation one?

Don't be sorry, Ezekiel. I love strange dreams...even if they terrify me back into wakefullness. And I will try the Bill Gates thing. But just for your info...if i get his card and pin number, they're mine...all mine. But I'll be sure to find ya and we'll go waste his money together...since you're the one who suggested it.



[b]Night to Remember
I was working at a large restraunt, a waitress. One of the other waitresses had to leave so I was stuck working her shift ...which meant I had to serve in the other half of the establishment that I would normally not set foot in.

I waited forever for an order of 2 plates of spaghetti and meat balls. By the time it was done I was incredibly pissed at having to wait for so long. I scooped up the plates and took them to the table. As I neared the customers...I realized that it was my boyfriend sitting at a small candlelit table with one of my sisters. Their hands were clasped lovingly together on the table top.

Instant rage rushed through me. Switched automatically to superbitch mode. I stormed over and and said..."How fucking romantic." Then threw their food at them. Grabbed the bottle of wine or whatever it was on the table...and dumped that on them too. "THERE...NOW IT'S TRULY A NIGHT TO REMEMBER!" I yelled.

I turned to leave...but turned back suddenly, grabbed the candle and tossed it on my 'boyfriend.' Being doused in alcohol..he instantly went up in flames. I grabbed my sister by the hair, dragged her around the table and shoved her onto boyfriend's lap. She burst into flames too. The fell to the floor screaming and flailing. I grabbed the wine bottle and dumped more alcohol onto them as they burned.

All the while, I circled them, laughed and called them down. Other people in the restaurant tried to help them but I told the heroic patrons to back the F off unless they wanted to end up the same. Most left.

I eventually left, but before I did, I leapt over the bar counter and snagged me a couple of big bottles of alcohol. Whiskey..if I remember correctly. I exited the building through the back door...ended up in the alley. It was filthy...but I felt comfortable there. I strolled down it, taking turns sipping at each bottle. After a while i realized that the alcohol tasted like water. I smashed the bottles against a brick wall and stormed off.

Can't remember where I went...but I do remember feeling wonderfully satisfied that I had torched and possibly killed my sister and my boyfriend.



Pigeons?
Just remember a bit of this dream. I was some sort of scientist studying a flock of pidgeons. They all basically looked the same...mostly white with black patches that, to me, resembled cow spots. Their eyes where the same...white with black specks in them. Very beautiful...I remember thinking. There was someone else with me...I remember her saying that the pidgeons were inbred. And in the dream...that statement was really important. It was like a world changing discovery...but i can't remember why.
Inbred pidgeons...

Fell behind posting here, but kept up to date at home. So...quick recap...

Dec10th:
1-Was out shooting pictures, no really great photo ops...till I looked up into the sky. There were faces forming in the clouds. Faces sort of 'etched' into the tops of the mountianous fluffy clouds. Sorta Mt. Rushmore-ish.
Tried to take pix with my digital cam but the faces wouldn't show up. So used my SLR camera and fired off a few rolls of shots...knowing that film would capture the images that pixils would not.

2-I met up with a guy, (a figment of someone else's imagination), and hated him upon sight. An all consuming lust to kill the guy, possessed me. So I started beating him...literally stomping him down. And the guy let me. Kind of took the 'enjoyment' out of it but his submissiveness didn't deter me. I kicked his ass till I got bored...then I just left him lying there.

3-I had stumbled across an old book. An ancient book that had within it all the answers to anything I wanted to know. Overjoyed, I started flipping through the thousands of pages in search of stuff I needed answers for. To my disappointment, I discovered that to actually have my questions answered, i had to manually sort through eons worth of haphazard info until i found what i what i wanted. Never found what I was looking for...though I tried.

Dec 12th

1-Was in art lab. Found out I won the grand prize in a design contest. Most of the rest of the class objected to me winning....because of my race of all things. This really pissed me off but I said nothing. A guy showed up in class and started handing out joints...and told everyone to calm down. So...the entire class..including the instructor...got high. Except me...don't like getting high. I left the class room....feeling somewhat disturbed by the whole situation...feeling like I shouldn't have been enrolled in that course to begin with.

2-I ran into a shady type of guy who brought me to the trunk of his car. It was full of guns of all shapes and sizes. I picked one that appealed to me, visually. The guy sold it to me for 30 dollars...and then threw in a silencer for an extra 10 dollars.
Took my newly purchased weapon and found a guy that had irritated me in the past. Seduced him to a motel room and there, at gunpoint, made him do a bunch of totally degrading and dehumanizing things to himself...all for my amusement.

Dec 13th
Dreamed I was a cartoon character trapped in the real world. An amime character at that! People were cringing away at the sight of me like I was some beast from hell or something. Anyway, I was running to any telivision set that I could find, trying to climb back inside to get back to my 'reality'.
I'd flip through the channels until I'd find a cartoon I liked and then try to somehow force myself into the television screen. A few times my fingers slipped into the tv screen kind of like they were sinking into water...but then it would begin to hurt and I"d have to pull my hand back out again.
At some point some people had started chasing me, trying to capture me for whatever reason. I passed an electronics store and there saw a cartoon playing. 3 of the main characters seemed to be able to see me. They waved me over and held out their arms to me, beconing me in. But the store was closed. Couldn't get in. Spent the rest of this dream trying to B&E the store.

Never got in...that I can remember.

Dec 15th

1-Was walking down this road that had trees crowed close on either side of it. The road it'self seemed to stretch straight on for an eternity. Didn't know where I was going, just kept following the road.
Strange thing about the leaves on the trees, they looked like flattened playdoh, dull and thick, shaped into oak leaves. They were orange and brown and red...all muted and moldy looking. I remember thinking that something wasn't right. i think it almost occured to me that I was dreaming but then I hear a roaring sound. Through the trees I could see a thin tornado forming. I began running as fast as I could.
At some point I ended up in a car with my mother. She was driving at an agonizingly slow pace. The tornado quickly gained on us. I was freaking out but she wouldn't drive any faster.
I ended up jumping from the car and took refuge in a culvert under the road. Don't know what happened to mother...didn't care in the dream.

2-I remember seeing herds of buffalo high up on a hill...and human forms approaching them. Hunting them. I felt outraged that the people were going to slaughter such magnificent beasts. I ran, screaming and yellining towards the herd and they immediately scattered and trampled off into the horizon.
I felt tremendously satisfied that I had saved the animals, but the hunters weren't as overjoyed as I. They were hurting to shoot something...and I became their next choice of prey. They told me to run...they would give me 10 minutes to try to escape...but if they caught up to me they were going to stalk and shoot me.
I ran. After a while, there were others running with me. Mostly kids. We were all running for our lives from the hunters. I tried to help as many as I could when they fell or got hurt but I couldn't help them all. I was torn between saving myself and saving the weaker of the hunted children.
Eventually gunshots could be heard in the distance. I gathered up the small children and told them to run and hide in the bushes...that I'd try lead the hunters away. The kids obeyed. I bolted and to my terror and relief, all the hunters came after me.
After running for what felt like an eternity, I came to a large gate and understood that if i made it through I'd be safe. It was like a nutral ground or something. So me and the other kids that had made it finally were safe. The hunters came and strode into the neutral ground. The told the kids to go. After all the kids were gone, the hunters all turned their guns on me. They were going to kill me anyway...despite the fact that I was supposed to be safe in the fenced area.
I ran, and came to a cliff. I remember the sunset. It was blazing and brilliant. Almost looked like a Hawian sunset. It was breath takingly beautiful. I leapt off of the cliff suddenly, prefering to kill myself rather than let the hunters have the satisfaction of killing me. I woke up just before I hit the bottom.
***Awoke from this one feeling strangely relieved or something.

(still playing catch up)

Dec 16th

1-Just remember bits of this...I was driving to my cousin's place to retrieve my computer. Got there and a tall thin miserable looking woman answered the door. She stared down her nose at me..told me she wasn't interested in whatever it was I was selling.
I informed her I wasn't selling anything but looking for my cousin, who used to live there. She laughed hautily and told me it was her house now, that she'd never heard of my cousin.
So I left. Just happened to peer in the window as was leaving and saw my cousin and his girlfriend inside. I spun around and went back to the front door, kicked it in and stormed inside to where my cousin was hiding. He tried to explain himself and we just argued for the rest of this dream...as far as I remember.


2-Was in a motel room. There were maps, photos and documents pinned all over the walls. A man with a laptop was sitting on the bed, rambling on about addresses and times and some sort of strict window of opportunity.
I eventually found out that I was soon to be an accomplice in a kidnapping. I tried to object but he told me I had to help him or I'd never live out the day. So I listened to his plan, it was so intricate, so finely detailed that I thought it would never work. It was far too complicated. Plus there was far too much physical evidence to be used against us should it ever be found. I tried to explain this to him but he only told me to shut up an listen whenever I tried to speak.
Most of the dream was me just listening him drone on and on and on about his genius plan to abduct some kid and hold him for ransome. Never got around to the actual kidnapping part.

Dec 17th

Lucid Dream?

I was walking alone through an ancient grave yard. It was warm, autumn, peaceful. The sky was overcast...I remember this because I thought it was the perfect lighting for taking a few photos if I'd had my camera.
After a while the graveyard took on a slightly creepy feel. Had the overwhelming feeling that I was being watched so turned to look behind me. About 5 zombies where staggering towards me. I started to run, then suddenly remembered the 'zombimania' dream I'd had before. I stopped in my tracks, realized that this had to be a dream too, and turned to face the creatures.

I tried to force the dream to end. It was a difficult task because a part of me still thought there was a small chance that it all was real. In the end, I overcame and forced the dream to stop. It kind of faded away to black, like old television sets will.
A new dream formed...the scenery before me fell into place, kind of like puzzle pieces being snapped quickly together. (closest i can come to describing the scene assembling) I was in the middle of a desert and remember thinking...'why the hell am i dreaming a desert?'
It was night, dark, the sky was absolutely overflowing with stars. I almost lost the realization that I was dreaming because I was so astounded by the brilliance of the night sky. I found my focus again when I realized that the stars were out of order. Orion was prominant but right beside him was Scorpio. Out loud I said, 'A winter and a summer constellation can't be together...that's impossible.'
I gained control again and just for the fun of it...ordered the stars to re arrange into simple geometric patterns. It was amazing...I felt so God like, able to rearrange the universe itself. Eventually I started spelling words out of the stars. I set my name up in the stars by Polaris and made it the most prominant new constellation. I also made a few profane constellations just for the fun of it.
And then, since I have yet to see a meteor shower peak, I ordered a meteor shower...just for my own amusement. It was unbelievably awesome. While watching the celestial shower, I began to lose my focus again.
Suddenly I heard an alarm echoing through the desert. Realized it was time to wake up...but I didn't want to.

I awakened anyway, suddenly. Sat up in bed, reached over and smacked the stupid alarm clock to sleep. I was severely pissed off at being ripped from the dream. I eased off the bed and as I set my foot onto the floor, something jabbed up into the bottom of it...felt like a thick needle.

The sudden pain shocked me awake, for real this time. My eyes popped open and the bedroom was still dark. The dream was still anchored in my mind. I was still too tired to get up and write it out...so I repeated...'lucid dream within a dream' to myself about a hundred times so that I would remember it later.

Still trying to catch up...

Dec 18th

1- I was living in Niagara Falls NY again, in our old roach infested house. My mother and a shrink were in the kitchen, I was in the living room. My mother and the man were discussing me as if i wasn't even there. So I turned on my MP3 player and blasted the music (Red Hot Chilli Peppers-Blood Sugar Sex Magik) so that I did't have to listen to them.
I watched them though. They would talk for a bit then both look at me. Each time they did this I became a bit more enraged. I tried hide it because I knew that they were just doing that so I would snap and do something insane. Then they could lock me away in the MH.

2-Another kidnap dream. This may have been part of the previous dream or branched off from it...but it took place in Niagara Falls again. I had a luxury motel room under a fake name on the Canadian side. It had a spectacular view of the falls.
I left the room and started hitting the clubs and bars. I was looking for someone to get drunk and abduct away to my motel room. I didn't know who it was I was looking for, just knew that I'd know him once I spotted him. Never found the guy...lucky for him.

3- DREAM # 25
Don't know exactly when this happened, might have been during one of the above dreams, but I was writing down titles in my dream journal so I would remember the 2 above dreams. The first one was simply titled 'Anna and Shrink'. Flipped to the next page and wrote at the top of it, 'N.F. Kidnap'. It worked...i remember both dreams clearly still.

Dec 19th

1- Was a drug dealer. Worked for my cousin who used to be a rather infamous dealer round here. He made me deal with the male customers, wanted me to flirt with them so they would want to come back to me for more.
Felt like a complete ass, but did it. Made a ton of money in no time. I was walking around with this huge roll of bills and loving every minute of it. At one point I remember him saying..."Don't shy away from the family. We can do more for you than you realize."
I only nodded, and wondered why I hadn't just surrendered to the lifestyle sooner. It was way easier than trying to make an honest living.
Later in the dream, a bunch of guys come busting into the house and started shooting up the place. I took a bullet right in the back. It hit my spine...I still remember the feeling of the bullet shattering my vertebra. ~shudders~ I dropped to the floor. Knew I was paralized. I think I died. Can't remember.

2-Had a freakish dream where I was fighting giants. They were like twice my height and I was the only one who even dared to fight back. Everyone else ran or immediately surrendered to them. I had it set in my mind that I would rather die than be a slave to them, so I fought. All I had to defend myself with was a knife.

3-Was fixing my house. Lifted up a floor board and ther was this writhing ball of snakes inside. Snakes don't bother me irl, but in the dream I flipped out. They all came slithering out and towards me. I started stomping on them, swearing and bitching the entire time. Didn't get them all. Some got away and hid throughout my house. The thought of this disturbed me so greatly that I decided to move out. Left everything.

Just scanned through all the dreams here and only now just realized that i hardly ever have any 'happy' or 'good' dreams. Only time I have an enjoyable dream is when its a lucid dream.

No wonder I'm desperate to get me some lucidity.
Wonder if I'm the only one with this problem?

Dec 21st

1-Was out shooting some macro photos of insects. Remember taking close ups of a mantis, a few crickets, some bees, a velvety red dragonfly. There were butterflys off in a field and I really wanted to get a few shots of them but there were no impressive species to chose from. They were bland white, gray and brown ones. I wanted something more spectacutlar.

After a while of searching for and not finding a suitable butterfly, I was ready to give up. Someone, a stranger, suddenly pointed off behind me and yelled, "Look at that, never seen one so blue before."

Of course, I had to look. I turned and there was a huge butterfly, with the markings of a Monarch but instead of orange it was this beautiful vibrant blue. I whipped out my camera and tried to change the lens but kept fumbling. Couldn't get the new lens to screw in properly. All this time the blue butterfly flitted close around me, as if teasing. I finally got my lens hooked in and turned to snap some photos of it but the insect suddenly took off. I chased after it. A few times it turned and flew back towards me suddenly, throwing the shot out of focus. This served to piss me off incredibly because I got the feeling the damned butterfly was knew what it was doing. Ended up that I never got a good clear shot of the blue butterfly.

***Still pisses me off to think I was outsmarted by an insect. hehehehe


2-It was christmas. I only had one present. Opened it and it was a paintball gun. I ripped and tore it out of the box and was itching to use it right away. I loaded it and started shooting up the christmas tree, laughing like a maniac the whole time. Everyone else was upset, which made me laugh all the more. I started sniping christmas decorations off the tree one by one till they were either on the floor or shattered.

Someone eventually tackled me and ripped the gun from my hands. Most of my whole family was there all the sudden. They were standing around me all lecturing me at the same time about how it was wrong for me to do that. I tried to wiggle free and leave but they wouldn't let me.

I remember yelling back, "You're the geniuses who gave me a gun...what the f*** did you think was gonna happen. At least I didn't start shooting at you all..."

After a while I noticed that all the damage I'd caused was gone. It was like it had never happened. Everyone was happy and laughing again. I was sitting off in a corner by myself, miserable as ever.

***Just in case anyone's wondering...yes...I dislike christmas.

Dec 22

1-Really odd one inspired by an im convo I had with someone before I went to bed.

I was in a room with tall man. The room was mostly dark. I ordered the guy to dress up in some sexy women's clothing that just happened to be in the room too. To my pleasure and surprise, he obeyed.
I then started applying makeup to the guy, a really slutty looking make up job too. I sent him to stand in front of a full lenght mirror to look at himself. I'd hoped he would feel humiliated but he didn't. He seemed to like the look himself. This kind of disappointed me.
At some point, not exactly sure when, he eventually turned into a woman.


2-Was on a deserted rocky island. The water all around it was pitch black and oily looking. I was climbing up onto the rocks in search of some exotic canibal plant that was supposed to be extinct. I found a whole cluster of them. They looked like Calla lillies except they were much bigger. I sat on a ledge and observed them. It was really boring sitting there waiting for something to happen.
After what felt like a couple of eternities of waiting, finally one of the plants moved. The lily part of the plant flopped over onto the plant next to it and began to devour it. I reached for my video camera to record this never before filmed event, and to my dispair I had no tape in the cam. I was so pissed that I tossed my camera into the water, swearing and calling myself down for being so stupid.
Returned to the boat that had brought me there and don't recall anything after ward.

Dec 23

1-Was driving in a truck with my bf. We drove to somewhere we don't usually go, and I remember wondering why he was taking me through that particular area. It just seemed extremely odd.
We eventually came across the scene of a crime. It was all taped off and the body of the victim could still be seen lying lifelessy in the grass. I couldn't take my eyes off the body, wondered who it was.
Suddenly the police storm our truck and drag my bf outside and arrest him for the murder of ....(cant remember the guys name now)... and throw him in the back of the cruiser. I didn't know what to do other than sit there in a state of semi shock at what had just happened. After a while they took my bf away and I was left sitting there like an idiot because I didn't know how to drive bf's truck.

2-I was walking down a familiar street in a town that I used to live in. Far up the street, a guy decked out in classic pimp clothes was walking towards me. He stopped suddenly and produced a little flask from out of an inner pocket of his suit. The guy started to sprinkle the contents of drink onto a small tree.
When I was closer, I recognized the guy was Snoop Dogg. I asked him why he was pouring that stuff on the tree. He just asked me, "What do you think I'm doing."
I replied that if I knew, I wouldn't have asked to begin with.
He only asked me again, 'What do you think I'm doing?"
I shrugged and walked away. I felt incredibly stupid because I had no idea whatsoever, about what he was doing.
As I walked away, it almost came to me what Snoop Dogg was doing. The idea quickly faded again, but suddenly a stream of poetic words spilled into my thoughts. I tried to remember them but they were rushing in like crazy. I whipped out a notebook and started scribbling down what bits and pieces of the poetry. After I'd filled a few pages with the inspirational words, I flipped back to the beginning of the book and to my horror I couldn't read my own writing. I'd been in such a hurry writing that my penmanship was nothing more than chickenscratch. I could make out a few of the words..but other than that everything else was indecipherable.

***No idea why Snoop Dogg was in my dream.