Kichu's Journal

**kichu** · 10-17-2005 01:40 AM

Hello,

I haven't been doing well at writing my dreams down, so I figure I'll start a journal here since I'm on the computer so much. I've also been having trouble remembering my dreams at all. Between going to bed late, waking up early and having my new kitty walk all over my face at 4am EVERY MORNING FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS, I haven't been able to have luck with dream recall, much less LD'ing. So I figure this is a good place to start. I can only remember a couple of dreams in the last few days, and they're very minor details, but it's a start.

Oct 13/05 - I'm in a bus/van and there's a baby on the floor that nobody's paying attention to. The baby doesn't have any arms or legs. He starts yawning and looks like he wants to go to sleep but can't get comfortable because of his body. I pick him up and hold him in my arms. He closes his eyes and goes to sleep, and I just watch him sleep.

I'm pretty sure the no arms, no legs thing came from a joke my cousin told me. Don't read if you don't like mean jokes or swearing:

Joke:

So there's a guy walking on the beach and he comes across a woman laying in the sand. The woman has no arms or legs, and she's crying. The guy goes up to her and asks her what's wrong. "Oh, I'm just sad because no man has ever hugged me before." The guy feels bad so he kneels down and gives her a hug. The woman thanks him, and he continues his walk. But as he's walking away he hears her crying again. So he walks back and asks her what's wrong now. "Oh, I'm just sad because no man has ever kissed me before." Feeling bad again, he decides what the hell, and kneels down and gives her a kiss. The woman thanks him, and he continues his walk. Again, as he's walking away the woman starts to cry. He goes back and ask her what's wrong now. "Oh, I'm just sad because no man has ever had sex with me before." The guy thinks about it for a second. Then he kneels down, picks her up, throws her into the ocean and yells: "THERE! NOW YOU'RE FUCKED!"

(I know, I know..........)

Oct 16/05 - The one thing I remember is that my mom told me she had cancer and so for the rest of that day I was going about my normal activities and out of nowhere I would break down and start crying about my mom.

I often have these dreams where my mom tells me she's got cancer and I know why I have them. I'm constantly thinking about the fact that my mom, my aunt and my grandma are totally healthy and how unlikely it is, considering life in today's world, that it will stay that way. I know it's so negative, but it's a fear of mine that one day one of these three woman that I love so much is going to get the family together and make an announcement that she has cancer. I can' t help but think that there's no way I would be lucky enough to live my life without one of them going through it. And I always think that out of the three, it's going to be my mom. She's worked so hard all her life to make things better for the two of us, and I can't help but think that after all that hard work, some higher power is going to take it all away from her. It's weird because I usually have a really healthy, positive attitude about everything, but this is the one thing that I can't change in my head. I guess it's just being worried and paranoid about the one's that I love the most.
I should probably force myself to stop thinking about it and I bet the dreams will go away.

Color Codes:

Dream Signs
My comments

**kichu** · 10-17-2005 03:47 PM

This is in reverse, details are fuzzy:

I'm a student in school (like, grade 4 or something) and I think I'm in drama class and doing a little skit because I'm walking around the classroom but I'm walking kind of funny and acting like I'm some snobby little rich girl and talking about how Eternity is my favourite perfume.

Rememeber just a tiny bit of this one. I don't know which of the four I am (I am one of them though), but Will, Grace, Jack and Karen are all meeting at a diner and sitting in a booth because there's some sort of problem and they need to solve it. We talk but all I hear is the "pss, pss, pss" of the conversation and then we all get up and walk out.

Earlier in the night I remember something about moving, or my apartment. My dad's neighbourhood keeps popping into the picture. I can see it but I can't put it into words. (Aargh).

9:45pm - I remember feeling that the Will and Grace dream was like a play because there was only the one booth in the diner and there didn't actually seem to be a diner there at all (but we were definitely in one). It seemed like a simple set on a stage and when we were done our scene we got up and exited off stage.

I also remember being worried about putting sunscreen on my face because I was somewhere extremely hot and sunny. I think this had to do with the fact that my boyfriends mom has been trying to get me to come to the Philippines with them in January, (which I just found out today I am going to be able to do!)

**my_reflection** · 10-18-2005 07:14 AM

I wish I could dream about Grace Adlerher for my dream tonight.
Oh ya, Im gonna use that joke tomorrow. I thought it was funny.

**kichu** · 10-18-2005 07:22 AM

my_reflection - Knock yourself out! Sweet dreams..........

**kichu** · 10-18-2005 03:19 PM

I'm realizing now that I'm going to have to start recording my dreams as soon as I wake up and remember them. This is twice now that I've woken up at night and been excited to remember huge amounts of detail in my dreams, and then woken up a few or a couple hours later and forgotten significant amounts of my dreams. Anyway, here's what I remember............

I think there was much more to this dream before what I can remember because I recall being excited about this one. But all I remember is being at two doorways, which I think were outside, and it was kind of like a fork in the road. The doorway to the left had a field with rabbits in it, some small, some enormous. I think the doorway to the right had cats and kittens in a field. All animals are just resting and looking at me, waiting for my decision. This entire scene is in black and white. I think because I've been looking at black and white photography the last couple days and I was doing it right before I went to bed. I think there was someone waiting for me in the right doorway/field, and I remember being surprised at how big some of the rabbits were in the left one. I'm not sure which door I ended up going through or if I did at all.

The other one I remember is fuzzy, and I know there was a lot more before what I remember and I can almost see it but can't quite get to it. The part I remember is my boyfriend and I are talking to my old roomate and her boyfriend and we're pretending that I didn't just give birth (the baby's in the other room), but then I smile at her and she starts freaking out and rushes to the other room to see the baby. Except now it' s not my baby, it's her baby. And when she picks him up off the bed, he's actually a puppy. This probably has to do with the fact that she got a puppy when we lived together.

**Starting tonight, I'm writing them down as soon as I remeber them. There was so much more to these ones. Oh well.

**kichu** · 10-19-2005 03:42 PM

Hardly remember ANYTHING! I know my old roomate was in there somewhere again. I couldn't remember her baby's name and I was trying to hide that from her. And I was also telling her about my best friends baby. Not much else.......

**kichu** · 10-21-2005 06:07 AM

Getting worse. All I remember is two people that I work with, saying hi to them as I walked by them in the office or something. This sucks.

I'm going to sleep early tonight.

**kichu** · 10-22-2005 08:24 PM

Ok, I remembered a lot in the morning when I first woke up, but I was way too tired to write anything down, so I went back to sleep. I think I may be able to piece things together slowly throughout the day.

I do remember that I was getting mad at my mom for coming over early in the morning because I had just woken up and wanted her to come over later in the day. My mom is coming over today, and she was trying to come over earlier but I told her I needed more time to shower and clean up the place, but I didn't get mad at her. I also remember that she had my cousins with her too.

I can't quite remember what else I was dreaming, but I can sort of see it. I'll have to add more later.

7:43pm - remembered something when I was doing my makeup today, about someone pointing out to me that you can you use the tip of your mascara wand to do the outer eyelashes and me thinking that would just look really sloppy because that's where all the mascara goop clumps up, at the end of the wand.

Can't seem to remember much else.

**kichu** · 10-25-2005 05:37 AM

Had a dream about my boss, and I think we were climbing trees or something. We were in the trees for a while, and they were REALLY tall trees. And I think I told her a joke and made her laugh.

That's it. My dream recall is sucking. I'm not anywhere near lucidity. I need to go to bed earlier, but I can't for some reason. No matter what time I get up. I always want to stay up later.

Go to bed Nancy! Now! Go have a shower and go to sleep!!!!

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep.........

**kichu** · 10-25-2005 04:09 PM

A little better this morning.

I think I was at my dad's house in Edmonton and I really wanted to get out somewhere. So my cousin picked me up and took me dowtown, except it was in Saskatchewan. He took me to some weird, dark, castle-looking part of downtown and I didn't like it at all. So he told me he'd have a glass of wine and then he would take me somewhere else. I think we were watching some sort of entertainment while he was drinking his wine, and I was standing at the back of the crowd and I kept falling over for some reason. And this guy was staring at me as I was falling, and his girlfriend was standing beside him watching the band.

I don't remember how it relates to the dream, but somewhere in the dream was this forest kind of place that I've dreamed about a couple of other times. I always want to take the path through this forest to escape from everything and I always imagine a beautiful beach/lake at the end. I don't think I ever actually go through the forest.

**kichu** · 10-27-2005 04:14 AM

My mom bought a house on a cliff. Anyway, so she didn't want me to see that she was smoking weed.

Before that, I was dreaminng about studying for a test I had in a week and I was planning the studying I was gonna do every day for that week. I was really stressed about it, there was a lot of pressure to prepare and do well. There was also some sort of monster or scary thing and it was sort of tied in with the test, but I don't remember how. I know there was something I was scared of in the dream. I remember it all took place in some sort of valley or something. Hard to describe, but I can see it pretty clearly.

And I saw some bears.

And I went to bed early last night! 10:00!!!

GOOD JOB NANCY! :bravo:

**kichu** · 10-27-2005 03:31 PM

My boss and I were talking to some fat kid talking about his girfriend dumping him and we watched him walk away all depressed and he had a feminine, fat, girls behind. In my dream I remember thinking that he reminded me of a boy I used to go to elementary school with named Jack.

Then I was watching some crazy guy chase after two other guys with a hammer. It looked like a martial arts/kung fu movie. And even though the guy was crazy, he was sort of calm about the way he was chasing them. And the guys were kind of calm too. He was chasing them up some stairs and it almost seemed like I was walking behind him and watching what he was doing but he didn't know I was there.

Then I think I got a little freaked out and ran away and I started flying. I thought it was totally real and I was thinking about how I have try to do it next time I'm dreaming. I was trying to fly into houses, but people were home. All the houses were on cliffs

Also remember something about two clear toothbrushes, and I was trying to figure out which one was mine and which one was my boyfriend's. I remembered that when I was brushing my teeth this morning. One of them was melting into the sink and had something yellow on it that was melting with it.

**kichu** · 11-13-2005 09:13 PM

Haven't been recording any of my dreams for like, the last two weeks or more. This is going to be a jumble of everything I remember from the last little while, starting with last night.

I think I remember something about girls I used to go to high school with.

Also, I think I was preparing for a test or something for work.

Hmmm, now I can't remember anything. Going to have to add more later.

**kichu** · 11-16-2005 06:24 AM

Listened to this before I went to bed:

http://www.interstellarwarfare.com/pizo/lucid.mp3

Had a lot of luck with dream recall last night. Here goes.

I'm watching a dj spinning and he keeps checking the record case for songs. The turntables are sitting in his lap and they fall over because he keeps paying too much attention to the record case. I pick up something that's fallen over and hand it to him and he says, "maybe I'd do ok if I wasn't showing off." I think he's wearing a yellow shirt.

I'm in a modeling competition (?????), there's 6 of us and I'm the tallest and happy about it. I totally think I'm going to win and then two girls take off, so the contest is over and nobody wins.

I'm in some house (mine? someone else's?) and my friend Shannon comes screaching into the home in a bus and crashes into the wall. It's not a normal bus though, it's a Barbie bus, like what Barbie would be driving if she was 'World-tour, pop star' Barbie. She gets out and acts like everything is fine, almost like, "What? Let's party!"

A friend and I are running away from people and we're formulating some sort of plot/scheme. We're running around some sort of half house, half garden place. I remember being in a trail in the house and the trail is covered with vines. Then we go to some room upstairs and we're safe for a while from the people we were running from, even though the room has no doors.

PS - I'm also doing what someone in another thread suggested, and that is to add a task to do for the day along with your journal entry. Nothing easy, like showering. The idea is to build up discipline and control, which hopefully will help out with LDing. Soooo......

TASK: Pick up all the clothes in my bedroom and put them away before bed, and throw out all the old food from the fridge and give it a quick wipe down. Ugh.

**kichu** · 11-18-2005 03:20 AM

Nov 16/05

My boss asked me to stay 2 hrs later on a Friday, 20 minutes before I was off. I thought about it for a second and then got mad because I was also coming in the next day (which I do have to do this weekend, come in on Saturday), and for some reason I decided that him and my other boss were using me (??) so I started yelling at them and pointing my finger in their faces. Then my boss says, "it's alright, we all talk like we're good friends anyway."

TASK: Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 10:40 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 2 of this task thing was hard. I haven't put it in my journal today yet, but I decided that my task would be (kinda weird) to not chew the inside of my mouth when I'm on the bus on my way to and from work. I do it every single day and every day I tell myself to stop doing it because I probably look like a goddamn idiot with my cheeks all sucked in. Especially when I'm a few stops away from my last stop on the way home, I just go nuts. I think I'm just anxious to get home and if I'm not concentrating on reading or something I resort to this as a distraction from the waiting. Sometimes I'll tell myself to stop, I'll stop, and then literally 1 second later I'm doing it again, and then I repeat that about 10 times. Then I stop for a minute or two, and then start the same cycle over and over. It's mental! Anyway, it was REALLY hard to do, but I managed to really control it because I didn't want to fail my "task."

I think this exercise could be really helpful for people trying to break some sort of habit. I'm going to continue this one until I've finally stopped. I think it's just a matter of telling yourself that you'll try it for one day, and then if it goes well you want to keep doing it.

AGAIN.......great suggestion.

Nov 17/05

Went to sleep very late, hardly any dream recall. Remember something about posting on forums. Also I got really sick and I was laughing about it with a friend because I was just talking about flu shots and that I didn't get one.

TASK: I have to find my kitties vet papers in a mountain of papers somewhere and get my boyfriend's work schedule for next week and have everything ready for work tomorrow so that I can make an appointment when I'm at work tomorrow to get her fixed. No more putting it off, she's going crazy and she needs to calm the hell down. Hopefully this will help.

**kichu** · 11-18-2005 07:47 AM

Ooooooooh - found tomorrow's task:

http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic....p=225067#225067

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2c...ses&btnG=Search

3 sets of 20, 3 times a day

**kichu** · 11-22-2005 07:16 AM

Nov 19/05

Remembered LOTS of dreams (because I went to bed at 9:30)

My boyfriend and I had a baby together and we had been at the hospital for a few days after I delivered. We were leaving the hospital and asking each other who had the baby and had our parents taken him/her home? Weren't we supposed to take the baby home?

I got a new puppy but found that he had a disease that would leave him blind in the next two years. The dog was the one that told me he was going to go blind and I just BAWLED as if he had told me he was going to die in an hour.

I was having dinner at a restaurant with a bunch of friends and one guy told me to have a bite of a wrap and he assured me it had no meat in it. So I took a bite and when I looked at the bitten into wrap, I saw strips of chicken. I started yelling and asking him why he had lied and he just said that everyone had to eat meat at some point. I got even angrier and started screaming about how I was a vegetarian and I didn't meat and how could he do that? He started yelling back and I started trying to throw things at him like utensils and food but it never hit him. It was like when you can't run or scream in dreams, I was throwing really slowly and nothing was making contact with him. Then him and his friends got up (they looked like Italian moffia) and went to leave, and I made a last attempt to hit him by throwing a fork at him, but it hit a girl in front of him in the chest. I was telling my friend beside me that at least it had hit her on the right side and she started yelling at me saying "that's YOU'RE right! It's HER LEFT! You stabbed her in the heart!" So we got the girl in a car to take her to the hospital but for some reason I stopped at my house first to get something. My younger cousin was there and I told him that I needed to get something and he went to tell my other cousin that I was there and I started freaking out saying that I needed to get this girl to the hospital right away. So he turned around and followed me out the door.

I saw my high school boyfriend sitting in a dark alcove, on a lazy boy or something. He was just sitting in the dark, not doing anything. I almost walked passed him but then I noticed him so I stopped to talk. I asked him why he was just sitting there and he said he needed some peace because he had really noisy, annoying roomates and he just wanted to be by himself. Then I told him that I had just had a baby and he just kind of looked at me knowingly and said "I know." Then my boyfriend walked by and I introduced the two of them.

Someone tore down the pictures that my boyfriend and I have on a wall in our place. Theyr'e just little post-it notes of some joke we have and someone came along and tore them down.

Nov 20/05

Went to bed really late, just remembered one tiny thing.

Our place is small and we only have room for a love seat, but in my dream we had squeezed in another seat and our friend was sitting in it and we were just hanging out.

**Not recording my tasks at this point because I've gotten really good at deciding on one and then doing it no matter what. I usually end up adding 2 or 3 more and doing those as well. If I start flaking out then I'll start recording them again.**

**kichu** · 09-18-2006 04:47 AM

Wow, haven't done this in a while. Ok, here goes:

Sept 12/06

Oneironaut with a crooked, yellow tooth.

Sept 13/06

My birthday, having a buffet at school, go shopping with mom, in the car on the way to the grocery store she drives over a bunch of flowers. In the store she grabs half a vanilla cake and half a chocolate cake, later she puts them down and forgets about them. I really want crackers and cheese, mom gets tortilla chips, I try to remember to get salsa. I want chicken for everyone but don't know how to prepare it, then I decide on wings, mom looks at some symbol on the bag and says it will take too long, but I read that it will only take 10 minutes on one side of the bag and 10 minutes on the other. We end up leaving them but I really want them so I go back and get them. By the time we're driving to the school again it's almost noon even though it was supposed to be a breakfast buffet.

Sept 14/06

There's a white bathtub at work where my desk normally is and I'm preparing to take a bath. I put a couple cups of sliced oranges, grapefruit, lemon and rose petals into the tub. I get into the tub and look around while I'm bathing and Derrick says something to me, not sure what though. Later, I'm in London Drugs trying to find a pale pink lipstick and I can't decide between two almost identical shades and I consider just getting both of them. I test them both out on my hand.

Sept 15 - 17/06

There are two sides on a dirt road, and people are trying to build the biggest fire they can on each side.

I've been smoking and I see my mom and start running in the opposite direction because I don't want her to smell the smoke on me.

Jayna and I work in the same office and we have a huge computer screen in front of us and for hours we just keep clicking on file, edit, view, etc. in a word document and clicking all of the options and going to all the sub-menus and clicking all of those options too.

**Oneironaut Zero** · 09-18-2006 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by kichu

Sept 12/06
Oneironaut with a crooked, yellow tooth.
[/b]

Hahaha. Scary shi0t.

**kichu** · 10-02-2006 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Hahaha. Scary shi0t.

[/b]

Yeah, it looked like a picture from any instant camera and it was just floating there in front of my face and that was all I could remember.

Anyway........

Sept 20/06

Running in a forest, aliens chasing me and someone else.

I'm trying to convince Karen that I'm a guy, then she catches on to me and says that it's a sign of honesty that I told her the truth.

Sept 21/06

My bachelorette party, Lindsay and two girls come to the door, dressed in black and white 60's looking outfits with hats, Alisa and I and another girl are also dressed in black and white but with polka dots and they're frilly little girl dresses but their fashionable. I go somewhere and some guy is bugging me and I tell him to leave me alone, I come back to the girls and tell them about him. They've ordered dinner, Alisa had brown rice with shrimp and some sort of sauce on top. I finish someones drink.

OCTOBER 1/06 - LUCID DREAM YAY I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

It was soooooo good! I had so much control, I was practicing flying and everything. It seems like it lasted all night long, it was so much fun.

Something happened that made the person I was in the car with upset, so instead of continuing to drive straight down the road they swerve off of it towards the ocean and we're flying over the water in the car. I think to myself how weird this seems and BOOM, I'm lucid.

So now it's just me in the car and I'm flying it towards some mountains by the water with beaches at the bottom and I'm trying to create a really pretty beach scene without any houses around, but it takes a while because there's houses everywhere and I just can't make them go away. I turn the corner of a mountain and tell myself there will be no houses on this next beach and there aren't. There's no car now, so I fly down to the beach and land on my feet. It's night time and the stars are so bright, it reminds me of the scene from the movie "The Beach" where Leonardo DiCaprio and the girl are making out in the water. It's absolutely perfect. There's a gorgeous blue curtain hanging from the sky all the way down to the beach and I want somebody to join me, so I reach my hand into the curtain and feel a hand grab my mine and a guy steps out. It's nobody I know and we start to make out.

The scene changes and there's a house in the middle of the beach with no roof and there's a family there, but there's tons of them. I try to fly by just swirling up into the air and it works. Everyone starts freaking out and I try to explain to them that this is my dream and they're all characters in my dreams but they don't seem to be listening. I ask them what their family name is so I can remember it when I wake up, but I don't. It started with an A. I talk to one of the guys and ask him if he's a real person, I'm convinced he is for some reason. I ask if I brought him into my dream from his, and he says "no, I'm just a character in your dream."

The scene changes again and it's daytime now and there's children running around because they're rushing off to school. I don't want the scene to look like this, so I try snapping my fingers to make it night again. It works a little bit but it only gets a little darker. I try different ways of changing it back to night and it gets a little darker every time, but I can't get it to the way it was before.

**kichu** · 10-04-2006 04:10 AM

Oct 2/06

Something about the pinky/lilacy shirt that I wear that everyone always compliments me on and trying to find something to match it, or trying to find a dress in that color or something.

**kichu** · 12-24-2006 02:19 AM

Finally! God, it feels like I haven't had an LD in forever. All I remember is someone did something and I said "I'm dreaming aren't I?" Then I started twirling and made myself fly into the air and I looked back at the person I was talking to and told him - "you're my dreamguide."

And that's it. Oh well, it's a start to getting back into it.

**Oneironaut Zero** · 12-26-2006 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by kichu

Finally! God, it feels like I haven't had an LD in forever. All I remember is someone did something and I said "I'm dreaming aren't I?" Then I started twirling and made myself fly into the air and I looked back at the person I was talking to and told him - "you're my dreamguide."

And that's it. Oh well, it's a start to getting back into it.
[/b]

Pssh. Bout time.

Haha. Congratulations, Kichu. Keep it up.