Thread: Burned up dreams

Much the same as yesterday but without the vague memory of Barack Obama's name.

Don't cry, Bu.

On Slate (internet news column) they have an article about people dreaming about Barack, maybe you can send in your dream. Maybe the first from the UK? It's not a very exciting dream tho.

Originally Posted by Burned up

Not at all. It's based around the idea that we as humans develop empathy etc with others in the early years of our lives. This sets us up for relationships later in life. If our primary carer(s) weren't attuned to us then we over-regulate our emotions and find relationships hard and unfulfilling. If they were too responsive (i.e. didn't allow us to learn through small amounts of discomfort) then we under-regulate and become too emotional. These are insecure attachments. Ideally we'd have secure attachments because we've learned to empathise with others in the way our carer(s) did with us.

Sorry, I missed a few days in your journal. But this is really interesting stuff!
Doesn't that mean that it's quite a narrow 'balance' to keep, as a carer? Or is the middle (the right amount for secure attachments) rather wide?

Your dream about MSc matches my current experiences at uni.

And hey, kissing with a girl again. Good stuff

Originally Posted by Burned up

Not at all. It's based around the idea that we as humans develop empathy etc with others in the early years of our lives. This sets us up for relationships later in life. If our primary carer(s) weren't attuned to us then we over-regulate our emotions and find relationships hard and unfulfilling. If they were too responsive (i.e. didn't allow us to learn through small amounts of discomfort) then we under-regulate and become too emotional. These are insecure attachments. Ideally we'd have secure attachments because we've learned to empathise with others in the way our carer(s) did with us.

interesting! so do you have extreme examples of this stuff in your studies like do you look at a psycho or a chav and group them into over regulated emotions and people how may be suicidal over a breakdown of a relationship as under regulated? or am I being silly

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Don't cry, Bu.

On Slate (internet news column) they have an article about people dreaming about Barack, maybe you can send in your dream. Maybe the first from the UK? It's not a very exciting dream tho.

It might have been. Who knows?

Originally Posted by Sara

Sorry, I missed a few days in your journal. But this is really interesting stuff!
Doesn't that mean that it's quite a narrow 'balance' to keep, as a carer? Or is the middle (the right amount for secure attachments) rather wide?

Quite a wide balance I would say. Research shows that 70% of us have secure attachments so most carers are getting it generally right.

Originally Posted by Sara

Your dream about MSc matches my current experiences at uni.

And hey, kissing with a girl again. Good stuff

Yes my libido is slowly coming back to me!

Originally Posted by mark

interesting! so do you have extreme examples of this stuff in your studies like do you look at a psycho or a chav and group them into over regulated emotions and people how may be suicidal over a breakdown of a relationship as under regulated? or am I being silly

Not silly no, but perhaps generalising somewhat. Even chavs can be securely attached, in fact the theory is supposed to give similar results across all cultures (yes chavs love their kids too!).

Extreme examples may be the person who refuses to acknowledge feelings whatsoever on the one hand. And the the person who cries a lot and/or is scared when left alone on the other.

Who's the artist?

There was quite a bit before this but it faded before I could commit it to paper.

I was with a friend who I don't know especially well, MA. He's clever about some things but ignorant about others irl yet always sounds clever.

Anyway we were chatting and I mentioned the band The Who.

Bu - "Can you name anyone in The Who?"
MA - "Rembrandt"
Bu - eh...
MA - "Vincent van Gogh"
Bu - ermmmm....
MA - "(name I can't remember but didn't recognise)"
Bu - "Well I've heard of .... "
MA - "...Pete Townsend"
Bu - "Yes, Pete Townsend"
MA - "Keith Moon"
Bu - "Yes, Keith Moon. I wonder what it's like to be the drummer?"
MA - "He'll get around 3.5 billion I guess"
Bu - "And Pete Townsend will get about 5 billion"

The dialogue is fairly accurate but not verbatim. The numbers at the end came up in conversation a few days ago when someone said their understanding on something I forget went up from 0.5/5 to 3.5/5. I recall at the time that I guessed she was about to say 3.5 which felt both spooky and satisfying at the same time.

Why The Who? No idea. Why those artists? No idea.

he he I see, sorry man I am really harsh when it comes to chavs...sorry


nice one on that dream, its really hard to remember dialog so its proper good recall

Fragment

Urinating on a kind of raised (about 2') section of floor in the middle of a large department store. People had put their bags on it and I was trying to avoid these. Felt the usual embarassed-but-OK sort of feeling when I do things like this in dreams.

The interesting thing about this fragment was that as I awoke from it (can't recall what preceded it) I didn't actually need to go to the loo. There must be meaning in the raised area and in the urination act but both are lost on me.

Off to see ancient prog-rockers Asia tonight. Hoping that they'll do some old King Crimson stuff too (John Wetton is/was in both bands). Plenty of good dream material in prog-rock.

Hey Sara, if you're reading this, have you come across a Dutch rocker called Arjen something who has a band called Ayreon?

Originally Posted by Burned up

Fragment

Urinating on a kind of raised (about 2') section of floor in the middle of a large department store. People had put their bags on it and I was trying to avoid these. Felt the usual embarassed-but-OK sort of feeling when I do things like this in dreams.

Hahaha, the typical dream-peeing scene

The interesting thing about this fragment was that as I awoke from it (can't recall what preceded it) I didn't actually need to go to the loo. There must be meaning in the raised area and in the urination act but both are lost on me.

Urinating for ME is often about sharing an emotion or something you've held back for a while.

Hey Sara, if you're reading this, have you come across a Dutch rocker called Arjen something who has a band called Ayreon?

No, never heard of him. Looked on the internet and found their website and some songs on Youtube. Not my style of music.

Haha, and you dreamed of dutch painters Rembrandt & Vincent van Gogh, how cool is that

Originally Posted by Burned up

Fragment

Urinating on a kind of raised (about 2') section of floor in the middle of a large department store. People had put their bags on it and I was trying to avoid these. Felt the usual embarassed-but-OK sort of feeling when I do things like this in dreams.

The interesting thing about this fragment was that as I awoke from it (can't recall what preceded it) I didn't actually need to go to the loo. There must be meaning in the raised area and in the urination act but both are lost on me.

he he funny dream mate lol! I love it

As for meaning I will give it a shot but as you know my interpretations are abit strange lol....Maybe the peeing is you getting rid of something you dont want and as for the bag thing maybe that could be representative of responsibilities people have placed on you and your trying to get rid of what ever without "damaging" these responsibilities...er lol I tried ha ha

either that or your wife has been buying shit loads of handbags and its playing on your mind

Originally Posted by Burned up

Off to see ancient prog-rockers Asia tonight. Hoping that they'll do some old King Crimson stuff too (John Wetton is/was in both bands). Plenty of good dream material in prog-rock.

Have fun!

Originally Posted by mark

he he funny dream mate lol! I love it

As for meaning I will give it a shot but as you know my interpretations are abit strange lol....Maybe the peeing is you getting rid of something you dont want and as for the bag thing maybe that could be representative of responsibilities people have placed on you and your trying to get rid of what ever without "damaging" these responsibilities...er lol I tried ha ha

either that or your wife has been buying shit loads of handbags and its playing on your mind

Originally Posted by Sara

Hahaha, the typical dream-peeing scene

Urinating for ME is often about sharing an emotion or something you've held back for a while.

Hmmm...could be either of those. Thanks for the feedback.

Originally Posted by Sara

No, never heard of him. Looked on the internet and found their website and some songs on Youtube. Not my style of music.

Haha, and you dreamed of dutch painters Rembrandt & Vincent van Gogh, how cool is that

So probably not a well-known band then. Yes, 2 Dutch painters but entirely out of context. That's dream-logic I suppose.

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Have fun!

I did. And they played "Court of the Crimson King" as dreamed by me a few weeks ago!!! As well as the Asia singles (probably the weakest part of the show) and Fanfare for a Common Man. Carl Palmer was out of this world. Cool guy. Steve Howe is looking a bit too old to do the rock guitar solo stuff.

Part time optician

I have a part time job at an opticians and it's my first day. I have my first customer and I have to take her to room 7 (of 8 rooms). I don't really know where I'm going and the corridor is dark and went around 2 corners with 4 rooms on each side but a diagram I found on the way helped.

Just before the 4 rooms I say to my customer to carry on inside as I found a tray of equipment I'm going to need. She carries on in. I rummage through the lenses, frames and other bits and pieces thinking that I should be clever enough to pull this off.

And all the time I'm thinking "I did this wrong, I should have gone into the room with her, said I'd be a minute while I get some stuff then come back."

Photo phone

At a residential centre and there's a phone there like the ones we have at work with lots of buttons. But this one has a lcd display with a photo on it. I see it's a picture of one of my daughters which I put there several months ago. Interestingly the vinyl flooring in the photo was the same as my bedroom when I was a child. But what I mostly recall was that it was clear nobody had used the room or phone since I was there last. A feeling of neglect, I suppose.

The first dream sums up pretty much how I feel each time I have a counselling client. And that's where I'm about to go.

The second had a feeling of emptiness about it.

I'm traveling for a few days now but hope to connect from time to time.

Originally Posted by Burned up

I did. And they played "Court of the Crimson King" as dreamed by me a few weeks ago!!!

Cool! Hey did you know you were going to this concert before you dreamed about that song?! If not, that is really pretty weird.

Originally Posted by Burned up

[COLOR="Blue"]The first dream sums up pretty much how I feel each time I have a counselling client. And that's where I'm about to go.

Why do you feel that way? Are you still in the learning phase (like intern doing residency or something)? If so, I can understand that feeling. Any new job is uncomfortable for a while, but it will get better. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by Burned up

Part time optician

I can understand why in a job like counselling you would feel like that, I mean it must be difficult because there is no set approach to people or at least thats what I would imagine

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Cool! Hey did you know you were going to this concert before you dreamed about that song?! If not, that is really pretty weird.

One of the reasons I went was in the hope I would hear it. But it was a bit of a coincidence that the opportunity arose in the first instance.

Originally Posted by raklet

Why do you feel that way? Are you still in the learning phase (like intern doing residency or something)? If so, I can understand that feeling. Any new job is uncomfortable for a while, but it will get better. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by mark

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I can understand why in a job like counselling you would feel like that, I mean it must be difficult because there is no set approach to people or at least thats what I would imagine

Counselling is not a rational science. There's a lot of not knowing (Mark), and to me that is one of the main challenges (coming from an maths/tech background). I suppose it's normal to feel in the learning stage (Raklet) for many years if not always as a counsellor.

I think that whilst it can be scary for a client to "not know", one of the functions of counselling is to be with a counsellor who can tolerate the "not knowing" and hence offer psychological/emotional support to the client whilst the client works things out for him/herself.

That makes sense. Oh, and welcome back!

Data consultant

I need my laptop because I've got possibilities for a job as a data consultant. But I'm anxious about what to do next as this may mean moving down south.

Dirty room

I'm with female friend J from uni. She has a room booked at a hotel and I'm helping her with her luggage. When we get to the room (324 or 524, my memory isn't certain) I see it's not clean and the bed is messy. A small snake catches my eye as it disappears behind the pillow. I look closer at the bed and see that it is dirtier than I first thought. There are some old beans on the sheet shich ave sprouted. J isn't unhappy abpout this as she likes beansprouts!!! But I tell her these aren't fit for consumption.

I call reception to complain and have trouble talking to the foreign receptionist. Then I realise I'm talking to a young child on the phone. I persevere, trying to make myself understood and I hear adults in the background at the end of the line talking about me "he's really mirroring his (the child's) words". I decide to go in person to reception (I'm now outside the hotel) and when I arrive they're laughing at me. t tirns out they were winding me up from the start. It was two women one was Scottish and one English (by their accents).

I turn away to see a man with a bright green top pulling up some bright green shorts.

The boy with th golden gun

I'm taking my son to school (which looks like a large shopping centre). He shows a golden gun he has with him to 2 teachers. They say something about him having been playing golf. Struggling to make the connection, I realise that the gun (a toy) is some kind of prize at a school golf day.

Now we're going downstairs to get some boots. I ask for size 9G. Then I realise that I should be at work and walk away wondering if I've forgtten something like I've lost the plot or something. Wondering how I've ended up doing all this on a work day.

Animals next door

I'm at my parents' house (where I am now irl) looking through a hole in the fence at the garden of the large house next door. I see a horse. Then I see a baby elephant, which becomes a bear and then a panda.

Suddenly a bus comes through the hole in the fence and does a 3 point turn in my parents' garden (which irl is nowhere large enough!!!). The driver is a sikh who is running safari tours next door. I look at my father and he says he has let the man use the garden as a turning bay. I understand he isn't charging for this either, in which I feel disappointed.

Some people are now in the garden discussing the issue of the safari bus, including a church minister. [Something in my notes about a woman who may have been on my course]. I have a sense of being lucid and looking over the sea (impossible from my parents' house) but maybe not lucid.

Back and front

I see my wife standing in front of the radiator in the kitchen, banding a little. I decide I'm going to take her from behind. She appears to respond to my movements but then she turns around and starts giving me a blow job!!!

Meaningless map

I'm looking at an OS map and it looks like I'd expect an OS map to look like. I have a question or task I need to complete for a geography assignment. I can't read the place names, though. They're all nonsense although two of them vaguely look like Coventry and Crawley but the letters keep changing.

Note about first dream - it's never like this IRL!

Another baby

I have found out I'm going to be a father again. Rather than feel panicked by this, I'm actually looking forward to applying attunement responses in a way I've recently been studying on a course module.

I have a sense of this feeling irl.

hey man welcome back I hope you had a nice time


lol at the dream with your wife and the radiator ha ha.....its never like that in real life is it? lol

about the last one, is you wife pregnant? nice one if she is

Originally Posted by mark

hey man welcome back I hope you had a nice time


lol at the dream with your wife and the radiator ha ha.....its never like that in real life is it? lol

about the last one, is you wife pregnant? nice one if she is

He senses that... maybe just dream-pregnant from the first dream