Thread: yellow's journal

lied down next to some boy, we were trying to nap. he leans in and breathes deeply my hair, says it smells amazing. i can smell the tea tree shampoo myself.
he casually lifts my shirt and says what beautiful nipples i have. i thank him and lay back down, flattered but unamused.
switch to kitchen of some country house, i'm cooking, smell of sugar and heat, and talking to everyone.
large father figure wanders through randomly, wants to know when he can use the phone, one more call, real quick i say. i dial but realized the numbers on the phone are in the wrong places, hang up and try again, correctly, no answer.
i'm making some sort of sugar stew, it will be used to metamorphize creatures, everything is affected by just the aromas. morphing and changing into stranger versions of original animal. pot goes in the backyard for magic, we cover it with a burlap tarp and then a huge alligator materializes under it.

my mother was telling me that my brother was killed, while telling me she says that Rick(my uncle) has killed himself by jumping off of... i interrupt her with hysterical crying. i wake in the shallow murky shore of an island, now lucid, i touch things in the water, dark plant animals that wade around me. walk to shore and walk over to this big black man sitting in front of a pile, fire or scraps it looks like both, i love his energy, i want to stay here, join this island.

Originally Posted by yellow

lied down next to some boy, we were trying to nap. he leans in and breathes deeply my hair, says it smells amazing. i can smell the tea tree shampoo myself.
he casually lifts my shirt and says what beautiful nipples i have. i thank him and lay back down, flattered but unamused.

(puts hands on hips). Hmph. Give a girl a compliment...

Originally Posted by yellow

switch to kitchen of some country house, i'm cooking, smell of sugar and heat, and talking to everyone.
large father figure wanders through randomly, wants to know when he can use the phone, one more call, real quick i say. i dial but realized the numbers on the phone are in the wrong places, hang up and try again, correctly, no answer.
i'm making some sort of sugar stew, it will be used to metamorphize creatures, everything is affected by just the aromas. morphing and changing into stranger versions of original animal. pot goes in the backyard for magic, we cover it with a burlap tarp and then a huge alligator materializes under it.

What's a burlap tarp? I don't like crocks in dreams. Very scary.

Originally Posted by yellow

my mother was telling me that my brother was killed, while telling me she says that Rick(my uncle) has killed himself by jumping off of... i interrupt her with hysterical crying. i wake in the shallow murky shore of an island, now lucid, i touch things in the water, dark plant animals that wade around me. walk to shore and walk over to this big black man sitting in front of a pile, fire or scraps it looks like both, i love his energy, i want to stay here, join this island.

Sounds like you feel very secure there. Contrasts with the death and chaos in your home circle. You not feeling settled?

drifting through levels into sleep.

grainy, sepia toned, silent film era cartoon, very vivid and the music is a song I've never heard, I can recognize the style but the lyrics are obviously a story of my brains creation. It's a story about a woman, this a cab calloway ghost character.
the music and all sounds are most vivid, they perform an entire show, fade in from black, like watching a movie, and fade to black at the end of the song. I remember being conscious, not sleeping yet, the show ended and I was tickled at how enjoyable it was, just for me.

very sweet travels full of sweet little kisses. long romanceful playing, like children, lots of smiles & stares, glancing and giggling.

i've been living in my dreams,
all day, sunny and beautiful, or raining and and beautiful,
farming and sewing and cooking.
out of the city, lots of trees and space.
no cars, no buildings, no radio waves buzzing.
unsurmountable joy, followed by indescribable disappointment upon resumption of obligations.

a fabric store that didn't sell fabric
my mother and gram are there with me, shopping i guess.
a festival, there were thousands of people, constant running
there was a girl that was killed, somehow, (the boy mourning her was that redhead from the wisconsin bus that broke down) i yell to him i have an extra ticket, blow him a kiss and keep running. he follows, he passes me in the crowd.
i can't breathe when all these people flood to a narrow space to pass through, full of RV's parked shoulder to shoulder.
Elena is there, not really interested in me, i said hi, she said hi. i can't breathe from here out
squeeze through the RV's, keep running, to the festival, the show is on hamden, a section of the festival, i can't make it, turn back and go into a walk in freezer to catch my breath.

-constant questions, running for no reason, can't breathe, tons of people, confusion masked in confidence-

huge festival
children with shotguns,
shooting geese and catching them in baskets
dressed in beautiful clothing, tye dyes, and wraps, corduroy and patches
victor was there, maybe
i saved his life, i think he got shot, fell face first into mud.
i helped him to the koi pond.
i didn't understand anything.
i just knew i needed to help anyone who needed it.
i was very uncomfortable the entire time, too many guns

i lost 2 babies, boys.
i was watching them for a woman that i felt was not a very good mother
i noticed one of the boys was swimming in ticks.
it took me so long to gather things and bathe them,
then i let someone watch them for a second and i came back and they were gone.
but i was still able to relax and fill my nalgene with coffee and get a cookie.

post apocalyptic.
i saw the bomb drop on florida.
everyone hated me, the blast made about 95% of people angry and murderous.
they all wanted me dead.
very tiring. constant fighting, running, scared, crying.
fighting, running, scared.
(woke up tired and crying. my nightmares are exhausting)