Thread: Spontaneous Mental Combustion. [acatalephobic's Dream Journal]

So, I've abandoned dream-journaling in this place for quite some time now. I've since recorded my dreams elsewhere, and have added an additional 25 of my more curious dreams.

I'm only adding #63 because it seems somewhat more significant than many of the others. The gist of it goes like this:


#63.
[10/10/2009]

+ in an unfamiliar living room watching tv with mostly unfamiliar company
+ i notice that there is period blood blossoming with unusual speedon my blue skirt
+ in the next room there is a stairway up to the wall that leads to the bathroom
+ trying to get there to take care of the embarassing problem

+ on the railing there is a mechanical chairlift
+ upon trying to use it i find there there is a curiously tiny girl sitting next to me
+ she's talking and something doesn't make sense
+ when i RC my hand, she becomes only an outline [with complete transparence within it] and my hand goes very funny on her shoulder
+ it turns reddish and starts to disintegrate at the edges
+ turns out she's a ghost...or so i believe.

+ some level of lucidity, i think. [strangely and unfortunately it's later forgotten. oxymoron.]

+ sometime after i'm in a circle of strangers that are bullying me in turn; both mentally and physically in rapid succession
+ first-person; my restricted visuals move in a circle with the succession
+ i grab the nearest girl by the shoulders, and her body stays put in my hands but her face is rapidly changing forms as if she were all those in the circle at once

+ i remember: "wait, i'm dreaming! do you realize i could..."?
+ intending to shake her, i grip harder
+ i think she explodes (?)
+ i wake up with a jolt

...and then foolishly go back to sleep instead of writing anything down. [Snuggling is to blame, in this case.] I assume I'll remember the general plot later, but I only focus on the major events of the beginning and end. Crap itall.




It's odd to me because I can't remember ever having a dream in which I was aware of it being so, and yet don't remember anything about what happening following this realization...

And yet this understanding was still present in a portion that I can remember, immediately preceding the conclusion.

An oddity for me, to be sure.

The first thing I remember is being seduced by a girl. She was on top of me, and I remember thinking that this must be what it's like to be "the boy" in a sexual encounter. I wouldn't let her touch my breasts, but as soon as I made a move for hers, she shoved herself down on me and started thrusting like mad. The whole thing turned me off, and she scooted away and got all sulky. She was trying to rub my clit under the blanket but I kept telling her not to.

Then I had a false awakening.

My room was arranged differently, and there's a television with a Japanese video game playing. On it, there's a koi fish that sees his reflection on the ground as a series of green star-like lights. All his exclaimations are written in Japanese characters, like in a comic book. Somehow I know the game system is Nick's. I can hear him talking in the other room, and he's upset because he came over to my house instead of "going to [a city nearby] and having a perfectly good time". I walk into the other room, and find a whole slew of 20 or so people I don't know; apparently they're my family. I find Nick and try to apologize and tell him about the girl and how I felt like I was taken advantage of, and he said something like "Well I don't know about that but I've got to go."

After that I think there was another FA, and when I walk into the kitchen all the dishes underneath the bar are all over the place. As I'm trying to put them away, I realize the cabinets are all crumpled up and sunk in from the top. I'm trying to put things in, but it's like there's no support to hold them up. I lift the top drawer up to where it should be and the whole bartop goes with it.


As I'm doing this, my mom rushes out to her car and says she has to leave. I ask where she's going, and she comes back into the room. She's talking about her day and I notice she's talking really strangely. The words all subtlely blend together and the pace is very stop-and-go. It's like she's high on something potent. She's wearing a headscarf that's purple green and white and looks very gypsy-like. I tell her I think "that scarf has gone to your head", meaning it's causing her to play some sort of character. I tell her it's turned her into a "swami or a soothsayer". We have a good laugh.

She leaves and I see that the kitchen is filled with large stacks of things, and the appliances are out in the middle of the room with the stacks. On the ground I see an ant, but on his back he's hauling a small pair of paper butterfly wings, making him look like a crawling butterfly. I see another very large cartoony-looking black and pink bug that freaks me out.

Next thing I know, all the black kittens are in the house, but instead of 4 there's like 20 of them. They're all huddled around the bugs. One looks back at me with a weird look on it's face. Jessica walks in and I tell her about the ant masquerading as a butterfly. Without commenting on what I said, she launches into a story about something that happened to her earlier. She's talking really fast. For some reason I look down and see two boxes of tinfoil. One of the colors on the label is changing seamlessly from one color to the next. Without even doing a reality check I realize I'm dreaming. At first my hands refuse to move, but I will them to. I go lucid.

As she's talking, I climb up onto the counter and over to the window near the sink. She's still going on, and I smack my head against the window in an attempt to get outside. It doesn't work, but I realize I can just move through it if I want to. I start to climb out the window while she's still talking fast and, without missing a beat, she says, "Okay, well I guess you know the way out then."

I half fall, half crawl out the window and for whatever reason I remember to rub my hands together to stablize the lucidity [Even though I've never done that before.] It works, and I get really excited. I want to fly, and go up a few feet or so rather slowly. The act of merely looking at my hands causes me to fly higher without even trying. This time they looked super-weird; completely distorted, and my right hand has another smaller hand above it as if I were seeing in double-vision.

I'm so excited. I fly up into one of the nearest trees, and see that there's all these clothes on hangers hanging from the branches. I move in and out of them. I decide to fly downward head-first and do a little loop. It feels great, and I look at my hands again to move upward again. I fly to another smaller tree and the intense detail of it blows me away. I immediately think about writing it down later. There are little nuts or berries growing on it, and the branches are very artistically twisty and knotted. It seems to be lit with white light from below, and there is a purple light cast on it from one side. I take this to represent the sunset. I literally moan and say that "this twilight is so awesome."

As I swoop downward to do another loop, I casually toy with the idea of conjuring up something. I don't remember thinking of anything in particular, but I just wanted to practice making something. But the flying is so wonderful, I decide to continue with that. As I fly up again, I go really high and straight up. Even though it's starting to get dark, I see off in the distance a tiny pumpkin patch where my neighbor's backyard should be. [I realize now that this is perhaps what I conjured up without meaning to.] I decide I should definately check it out. For some reason the flying is a bit slow. As I get down to the ground I decide it would be nice if I could just run over to it really fast. Next thing I know, I'm practically there even though I appeared to be moving at a normal pace.

It's a tiny little patch in the middle of nothing. On the far side is a stack of straw bales, and a scarecrow with a pumpkin head. As I get close, I stop and notice the scarecrow's eyes are glowing and get a bad feeling. I'm afraid that there are wolves in the bushes. Sure enough, I can see shadows moving back there. I go to run back towards the house when I notice a small, fat, tan little dog. Like a bulldog, but without the wrinkled face. For some reason I get scared of him too and run faster. He chases me nearly to my yard when I remember that he can't hurt me.

I immediately stop, and he sits down right in front of me. I decide to place my hands on him calmly and communicate to him that "it's okay." As soon as my hands are in reach he starts chomping on my fingers voraciously. It doesn't hurt a bit. Something tells me that he's just really hungry. I tell him I'll get him some food if he follows me. We run over to get some catfood for him. Just as I grab a bowl, I notice a large cartoony-looking bug like the one I saw earlier. This one is black and orange, and it promptly crawls up my leg.

In trying to get it off, I strike a really silly pose: one hand holding the bowl way up, and the opposite leg sticking out comically. I give my foot a few vigorous shakes but the bug is staying put.

Before I know it, my laughter at myself and the excitement of the whole thing boils over and I can't wait to write it all down.

...Which causes me to wake up.


Not the most creative lucid dream ever, but I woke up extremely pleased.

So, I haven't been keeping up with my other dreamjournal very well, but today's dream was so odd I finally made an entry in it. Here it is:



multiple FA's.
each time i wake up in my mother's room, feeling like i've been there for days.
my face is wet from crying.

my aunt comes in and coldly tells me to leave.
a bunch of my family is in my bedroom.
matt is telling me that he worships god and christ, but also all these other things, including egyptian kings that are thought of as gods.
he sits me down and tells me he hasn't seen me in a while and that i look great.
i tell him i look like i've been crying for 5 days straight, because i have been [in the dream.]
i try to explain that to be christian requires acknowledging only one god.
at some point i end up clocking my aunt for being beligerent to me.
everyone gets mad.

wake up in my mom's room.
my aunt comes in and coldly tells me to leave.
there is a ghost in another bedroom, whom everyone seems to be worshipping and i'm scared of.
i try to explain to matt that to be christian requires achknowledging only one god.
somehow it is claimed i am one of the egyptian queens that are looked at as a god.
i'm confused and upset but temporarily go along with it.
my aunt is walking me through these ancient-looking streets with another woman in some sort of parade.
i try to explain that they shouldn't be treating me like royalty.
everyone gets mad.

i wake up in my mom's room.
my aunt comes in and coldly tells me to leave.
i try to talk to my mom and extended family, trying to explain this won't end well.
everyone gets mad.
i try to hide in the garage, but some friends of mine are already hiding there and won't let me in.
i kick the door in, saying "this is my house. i live here."
chris and an unfamiliar boy are at a table, passing a bottle between them.
only the person holding the bottle is allowed to speak, apparently.
i'm upset that no one will listen, so i decide to grab the boy's bottle.
he gets upset and gives it to chris instead.
chris starts going on about egyptian royalty and god.
i'm still trying to get them to understand that this is my house, and something bad is happening.
i get the feeling i'm being chased, because the scenario keeps repeating.
chris is still going on, when i hear the garage door opening.
i decide to hide under the table.
the unfamiliar boy's hand is hanging over the table.
with a sense of resignation, i whisper that "i used to live here", and touch the boy's hand.
he looks down at me.
i put his hand to my forehead and just start sobbing.
the feel of his hand on my forehead produces a really strange physical sensation.
like my tears and his touch are having some sort of..."healing" effect?


I finally wake up in real life, with my own hand on my forehead.
Then proceed to have the strangest thoughts about the nature of god.

It was a unique one, for sure.

[2/4/2010]

I know that I have to get out the door, to the elevator, and down to the ground floor before anything odd happens. This scenario has happened before, and if I'm around to see anything unusual, it could be bad for my health. There is a man nearing the doorway with a serious look on his face; I smile and make a left for the nearest elevator.

Inside there are two twin girls and another boy. One twin has this huge smile on her face and she asks me if I would spray her perfume on her. She's barely finished asking when the other twin asks me the same question. The first girl's smile drops right off her face, and the whole thing seems off to me. I get the idea that I definately don't want to breath in any of that perfume. So as to not arouse suspicion, I decided to do it anyway and just hold my breath.

Once outside the main entrance I feel relief. I know I somehow avoided something awful; something I wasn't so lucky to avoid the first time all this happened.

As I'm walking my relief starts to fade; the squeaky-clean and brightly-lit mall is smack in the middle of a ghetto. Outside all the buildings are in various states of disrepair and delapidation, there is garbage everywhere, and I notice an inordinate amount of health clinics on every corner. I pass a man whose face looks like its melting off, only to be hastily covered with a see-through Michael mask. There's another mask on the ground further down the street.

I hear bits of conversations as I'm walking and none sound too promising. Two women are talking about how the food rations have been lowered to two bags a day, and someone else is complaining about "how could anyone afford to pay what they charge at the clinic". I pass another shabby-looking clinic and there's a line outside around the overgrown hedges.

All of it seems incredibly normal. It occurs to me that all the bio-terrorism that's been going on is likely making big bucks for all these health clinics. I begin to wonder if there's anything I can do to stop what's about to happen back at that mall. I about face and start running towards it.

The sign above the entrance says "Daves Capitalist Ltd." in red block letters, and there's a logo of a man's smiling face giving a thumbs-up.

I walk into the main lobby, and there's some shoppers milling about. I'm about to hit the button for the elevator, when an alarm goes off. There's a loudspeaker in the form of a statue of the man from the logo holding a microphone. It says in a calm, shopping-friendly voice, "Please exit the building. Dave's has been scheduled for demolition in 10,9,8...". People start getting panicked.

I turn to the nearest door; it's locked. Two nearby shoppers find that another set of doors is also locked. The one women goes from door to door, growing increasingly panicked after finding they're all locked. She can't find a way out.

I realize this is ridiculous. Yeah, all the doors are locked, but rather than sitting around and letting myself get blown up, I'm breaking a fucking window if I have to. I hurl myself through a nearby window.

Once outside, it takes me a second to realize that the shattered glass didn't kill me.

I jump up to run...but the building explodes.

I wake up.

So in my dream this morning I'm at my grandmother's house, and I'm getting into an argument with my mother.

As she's going on--and as I'm trying to ignore the whole mess--I decide to make myself a sandwich.

I reach into the refridgerator, and grab some things.

I give the mayonnaise jar a second look, and realize it says:

Spoiler for moral of the story:

...Awesome. Thank you for the reminder.

[2/22/2010]
woke up about 9pm


I remember stepping out of the house [which of course wasn't my house] to go to the store.

As I'm walking back, I realize I can't tell which house is mine because they all look the same.

And as always, I've forgotten to look at the numbers.

I decide to open a random door; it's unlocked.

The house is silent and dark, but I soon realize it isn't mine.

In the next room, I try to leave through the front door, but it's locked. There is light coming through the cracks.

I try the next room over, and the next, but all of them are locked; deadbolted. The doors are leading to the next house over now, and I'm getting farther down the street in my search.

The light from underneath the doors is getting dimmer, and every empty house is getting darker as night falls.

Why on earth can't I find my house? I start to panic.

I grab a the doorknob of a door that is clearly deadbolted. In my panicked state, I try to force it open.

It opens as if the lock didn't exist.

[This should have made me lucid, but I was still rather frightened.]

I emerge onto the street again finally, and it's dark out. I'm about a half a block from where I started.

The phone rings, and it's my Dad; he asks if I'm coming home. [Odd, since he doesn't live with me.]

As I'm hurrying back down the street, I see him--phone in hand--through a lit window. My mother is also there.[Also odd; they're divorced.]

I tell him, "Of course I am...I tried to before, but you guys locked me out!"



I wake up rather disoriented.