Yippee! After two days of messing around with a spliced USB cable and X-Box cord, I've managed to get a working S-Controller to use as a joystick for my computer. It should've been easier than it wound up being; the USB cable's wires were all the wrong colors so I had to test them to be sure which was which. After that, I just attached all the wires to each other and downloaded a driver online, and now I can play Star Wars: X-Wing vs. Tie Fighter with it's double-joystick, POV-hat, 12-buttony goodness.