Thread: Blood thicker than water mentality

Originally Posted by Howie

If you truly love someone and they do something deplorable, it is hard to just turn on and off a love/hate switch.

But I would assume you would love this person based on the idea that they would never do something like rape someone. Things like that are part of the reason you love them. You have a certain idea as to the kind of person they are and what they are capable of. You have a certain image of who they are.

When you unexpectedly find out they are capable of rape, doesn't that change the love you felt? You loved them based on what you thought they were, but they're not what you thought they were, so the feeling changes.

Like Never's story. Yeah, you love an uncle or whoever it is, but when you find out who they really are, why wouldn't it be reasonable for the feelings of love to change?

Originally Posted by drewmandan

You start by not continuing to brainwash your children. I know that in the extremely unlikely event that I have children, I will raise them to be objective free thinkers.

If you ever do have children, will you be able to stop loving one of them because he raped somebody?

I have never had children and probably never will, but the word on the streets is that people tend to love their children more than themselves. Imagine that. You might call it a weakness, but of course people are going to be weak in the face of a force in nature that is so powerful. It cannot be turned off because of an evil act. There is no way a person who loves his children more than him/herself can be trained to turn off the switch.

Oh, for some reason I always leave children out of this equation.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

If you ever do have children, will you be able to stop loving one of them because he raped somebody?

I have never had children and probably never will, but the word on the streets is that people tend to love their children more than themselves. Imagine that. You might call it a weakness, but of course people are going to be weak in the face of a force in nature that is so powerful. It cannot be turned off because of an evil act. There is no way a person who loves his children more than him/herself can be trained to turn off the switch.

Different situation. Children are 100% dependent upon their parents, but the reverse is not true. If a parent does something evil, the child should not still love them. If the child does something evil, it's really just a failure of the parent.

I think I'm a bit unusual so I have to say that I don't really 'stand' with anyone family or friend....If someone does something wrong i'm going to make sure they don't get away with it, wether its my mom dad friend or some stranger on the street...to me justice applies to all people.

Once my brother was cheating on his girlfriend and I found out about it, I told his girlfriend the next day and their relationship ended.

Turns out, their relationship was based upon gifts and material posessions, a shallow and meaningless 'relationship'

He should be glad I 'ratted' him out as he calls it

he always was like mad at me at the time always saying "what are you, a girl, telling other girls i cheat?"

I'm sorry but anyone who cheats on their spouse/gf/bf deserves to be outted and humiliated so they never do it again.


And as for howies situation, if a family member i knew was a rapist or a murderer I would turn them in.

Originally Posted by drewmandan

Different situation. Children are 100% dependent upon their parents, but the reverse is not true. If a parent does something evil, the child should not still love them. If the child does something evil, it's really just a failure of the parent.

I was thinking of grown children. Even when the dependence ends, the love remains.

Love for parents is maybe not exactly the same, but it is still in the same ballpark. It too can't be turned off in most cases. Even people who have completely shut their parents out of their lives because of memories of childhood abuse still love their parents in most cases. They might never want to talk to their parents again, but that does not mean they won't help them pay for heart transplants.

I wouldn't pay for shit for my parents.

Originally Posted by drewmandan

I wouldn't pay for shit for my parents.

I can understand that too. Despite what I said about the understandability of those who would, I also have understanding for the situations of those who wouldn't.

Originally Posted by guerilla

I'm sorry but anyone who cheats on their spouse/gf/bf deserves to be outted and humiliated so they never do it again.

I think it's best to stay out of that situation. Usually, all you will be doing is causing unnecessary pain. I have the very controversial opinion that cheating is often necessary for a relationship to last. For some people, getting a little on the side is what makes them not feel trapped, in which case they feel much happier about the relationship than they would otherwise. Then the relationship can last.

My point is that there are positives and negatives that come with cheating, and the balance of the two is different from one relationship to another. It is up to them to work all of it out. I always stay way out of it. A long time ago, my two best friends were a couple. The girl became a best friend because she was always around, so I wondered if I should be more loyal to the guy who was a friend long before she was. I knew about both of them cheating on each other, and I didn't tell either one of them jack. If I had, I would have lost two best friends and they would have stayed together any way. In fact, I had a terrible falling out with both of them because I poked my nose into their relationship business about other things. Now, I just let couples handle their own business, unless one of them is being abused.

It means if you brother is arrested for being a rapist, and he claims he didn't do it. You give him the benefit of the doubt and stick by him until its proven. Thats what family does. If its proven, then he has to face the consequences. And if that consequence is you never speak to him again, so be it.

Though the saying really comes from family being close. In most families that really isn't an issue. I suppose if you are in the mob, the saying might be a little different.

UM you said cheating is necessary? Please do the world a favor and don't get a girlfriend, ever.

Save some women the heartbreak.

Anyone who cheats deserves to have their balls stomped on, with steel toed boots.

Originally Posted by guerilla

UM you said cheating is necessary? Please do the world a favor and don't get a girlfriend, ever.

Save some women the heartbreak.

Anyone who cheats deserves to have their balls stomped on, with steel toed boots.

No, I said it is sometimes necessary for the relationship to last. That is just a fact. Don't blame me. I don't make the rules of nature.

Do the world a favor and don't ever have a friend.

By the way, in the beginning, you sent me a few PM's about how you value getting along with people even when you disagree with them. What happened?

Lol im getting along who said I wasn't? I didn't aim the stomp on balls thing to you, just to guys who cheat

Originally Posted by guerilla

Lol im getting along who said I wasn't? I didn't aim the stomp on balls thing to you, just to guys who cheat

Would having a threesome with you and someone else count as cheating?

Originally Posted by Howie

The old saying Blood is thicker than water mentality along with two other examples has really gotten to me lately because it has personally effected me.

• My brother is a rapist but I will stand by him why? Because he is my blood brother?

• I am a cop, so regardless of the reckless behavior and abuse of power, I will stand behind my partner.
Why??

Can someone explain this mentality to me?
United we stand devided we fall maybe.

btw - my brother is not a rapist - just an example

Blood is romantic but not practical.


I vouch for romance.

Originally Posted by drewmandan

Would having a threesome with you and someone else count as cheating?

Not if its consent lol

Originally Posted by guerilla

Not if its consent lol

oh lol lol lol

Originally Posted by kichu

When you unexpectedly find out they are capable of rape, doesn't that change the love you felt? You loved them based on what you thought they were, but they're not what you thought they were, so the feeling changes.

Pretty much, and it is quite surprising how quickly it changes and how violently. Not only is what they do horrible, but here you were all these years, powerless to help the victims because you simply did not know the crime was happening. It is the worst sort of betrayal.

There are also cases that are not nearly so extreme of course, such as your family members being fake; making your presence as important as that of a scarecrow with a sign on it that has your name. How can you love someone you do not know? The point is that these "bonds" can be built upon lies for some and desperation for others; intentional or not; or they can be genuine, in which case, great.

It does not matter how long you have known somebody if the person you thought you knew never really existed.

Originally Posted by kichu

When you unexpectedly find out they are capable of rape, doesn't that change the love you felt? You loved them based on what you thought they were, but they're not what you thought they were, so the feeling changes.

Knowone is who you think they are!

Sometimes it takes a long time to build up love and sometimes it is not easy to tear apart in such short order.
But given what we are talking about -yaa I could not love someone who raped another, or so I think.

No one is perfect, and no one is completely evil.

You love a person because of whatever qualities they had. Just because suddenly you find out they are a murderer or rapist doesn't change the qualities they previously had.

You love a part of them and you dislike a part of them. There is no need to completely remove the part of you that still loves them simply because now there is a part of them you dislike. Why do I have to completely hate or completely love a family member? I do not find it very hard to say that if I found out my brother were a murderer I would still love the part of him that I cared about before. It isn't a flaw to still care about the good qualities of a person even though they have other qualities that aren't so good.

I don't imagine anyone has ever cared about another human being solely on the fact that that person isn't a criminal. "Oh I love my girlfriend, she is completely not a criminal. That is all I care about."

While personally there are many actions that would make me stop caring about people, I wouldn't find it a flaw in some one's character if they were to forgive someone. For example, forgiving their own rapist. Believe it or not, rape victims do sometimes forgive their attackers. Or, at least get past the action that happened, and still care about the person who raped them.

Family and Collegues are closer to our hearts than total strangers. We care for them alot more than for strangers.

So when your brother commits a crime you're going to be alot more forgiving towards him, and hoping he can better his life..etc than towards a stranger that commits the same crime. Not fair and very injust, but quite understandable.

It depends. If they are my immediate family, I would not let them continue the crime, and I would not help them out if they were trying to escape consequence. However I can't see myself disowning them, as they have always been, and still are my family.

As far as cousins, uncles, ants, so on... I am sure it depends on how close you are, but I wouldn't know in that area. To me, the family that I have been living with for 18 years, I couldn't just shut off the fact that they have been there for me since the beginning. Why shouldn't I be there for them?

Just as I said though, I wouldn't help them escape consequence, or continue committing the crime.

I should have conducted a poll.
I'm kind of surprised on how many members are empathetic towards a criminal if the family environment. I'm not saying you are wrong. Actually I'm on the fence with this one. I just don't know first hand, so it is hard for me to put it all into perspective. It is difficult to find the comprehension in some acts.

I think it may depend on the crime. Depending if I think they have a "problem" or if they are just deceitful, liars and a toll on society.

An arson, a thief, they are a lot different than a rapist or molester. Then again you find yourself asking the question whether or not they can or should be rehabilitated.

It is hard for me to find any compassion for people that have either taken or ruined a life.

Alrighty, first hand experience.My belief is that blood is thicker than water.however, it does have certain limits.Take a child molester for instance i just saw him as a person with a psychological problem and needed help(still loved him.).so blood was thicker than water in that instance.Then take a person who willfully lies to and cheats on his wife multiple times.Blood was destroyed in this instance because i saw him as a scum bag.(hated him).i think i think this way because the marital oaths aren't just between two people they are with God and basically by falsifying your oaths you lie to God and it isn't just between two normal people like rape or molestation is.However you can also argue that God sees everything and each has the same amount of wrong embedded in it.

Wow...