Thread: what does it mean when you barely manage to dream of your beloved?

I spend hours daydreaming about him all day long every day. But when night comes and I can't wait to fall asleep to join him in my dreams, it never seems to work out. The very rare times when I dreamt of him, I could barely remember the dream or put it together. I just remember that he is always far from me, not seeing me, or some sort of things are between us that prevent our union or connection.
The last dream I remember was horrible. I think I wanted to show him to someone. Maybe my grandmother (whom I cherish and is no longer here. I have the same problem about her. I barely dream of her and never see her in my dreams, even this one. I just had a feeling it was her presence). So in this dream, I am trying to show him to my grandmother so she can see him, how he looks like, and for some reason we never manage to see his face. He is always turning his face away or something, but he doesn't even know we are trying to see him. And then I go after him and he turns around and his face looks so ugly and scary. And he starts coughing or making noise with his nose like someone whose nose is running but is not using a tissue. That was horrible.

The man I am talking about is absolutely gorgeous. He has that kind of otherworldly beauty, but not the kind that could make him shallow or arrogant because of it. To me, it's more like his soul is so beautiful that it is shining forth. But now I am scared that the dream meant he is actually ugly inside and that I am just projecting my longing of being united with a beautiful soul/heart/ who would love me and build an amazing life with me against all odds.

some details about us : we are away from eachother, thousands of kilometers away. We had a brief 2 months together when I felt a super strong connection developping from the very first day our eyes made contact. I felt something totally unusual in my heart and I felt it was reciprocated. But there are lots of social, cultural and religious differences that are scaring the both of us. More him than me. So he has always kept some polite distance despite letting me know he likes me a lot. The day I left his country I received a message from him saying he started to realize he is feeling something for me but doesn't know how to explain. The message was very gentle and shy. I kept calling him every week until now (3 months). It was great in the beginning. I felt he believed we could try something together and now I feel the fears about the cultural obstacles are coming back and he is more like friendship oriented now. So the situation is very complex.. I forgot to mention a big age difference as things were not complicated enough. I am older. But it is not visible, as I look in my late twenties and so does he.

So my first question is : what does it mean when you barely manage to dream of your beloved? Does it mean he never thinks of you or that he is not connected with you, that the connection I feel is just sort of fantasy like? Do we always dream about our soulmates? Maybe he has this telepathic skills (he is a cancer and he is so sensitive and intuitive) and he is pushing me away from him even in the astral realm. That's actually what I feel inside. He is too scared to disappoint his family and I think that is something unbearable for him. He seems certain that his family will never accept me because of the religious background. So he'd rather dismiss his own feelings and just keep me as a friend.

My second question is about the dream I had about his face.

thank you for all your feedbacks!!!