My dark journey

[Veda]

It's good to be here but as an INTJ I want to get straight to the point and outline my current struggle: When I was a kid I dreamed of so many euphoric, optimistic, and beautiful scenarios with beautiful women encouraging me every step of the way. Ever since I got into college (now that I'm in my 20s) I keep having sad, fearful dreams every night I go to sleep (I'm an A/B student btw). I started body building recently and the negative effect of these dreams has lessened but the taste appears mostly negative. I remember whenever I had a bad day (when I use to think back then I had no control of how my day went). I would go back to my dream world and I would mentally heal myself from the stress of the physical world. There was a period in time where the stress in and of my dreams had changed due to the ending semesters but that fluctuations has changed mostly negative. Lately I've been reading a lot of good books that expanded my consciousness in very positive lights (such as Three Magic Words) so now in my physical world I am able to think most of the time without anxiety and stress sometimes I will be unaware I'm thinking as such because I have ADHD (I decided to stop taking my meds I was recently prescribed because working out is simply much better). I'm always learning to be a Alpha Male (but like I'm focusing on the inner mechanics and the mindset of becoming a real man) I want to be happy in my dreams and wake up without like I've done something wrong to have such unwarranted guilt in my heart Just an FYI: It won't matter what the content of the dream is about but I wake up with severe guilt that I've somehow convinced myself of