Scary recurring dream theme

**watergirl** · 03-12-2008 12:32 PM

Over the last 3 weeks, I've been having dreams about my father. In every dream, he's mean. I have a foreboding feeling of fear, dread, and the like every time I dream about him. I've dreamt about him at least 4 times over the past few weeks. One time he was screaming at me at the top of his lungs. Another time he was speaking in a very low voice but he was very, very angry. That time, he said something like, "What do you want me to do about it?" Last night he called my brother on the phone, and for some reason my brother and I were hanging out, and the tone of his voice was again very, very angry--almost rageous--and he asked my brother, "Where is your sister?" Both my brother and I are now in our 30's. My father will be 70 this year.

For some background: about 13 years ago, my father was particularly hateful and as a result, I pulled away, asserting my new independence (my own apt., car, paid my own way, etc.). I was in my early 20's. He would call on the phone and leave hateful messages. He would write hateful letters. He is also an alcoholic and was, at the time, almost at rock-bottom. So for 10 years, we didn't speak, and the times we did, he was again hateful. So I've spent all this time building my life to some degree of personal and professional success, and now these dreams are surfacing--and the feelings, once again. In waking hours I do not fear him, but in my dreams when he is present, the fear that I once had comes back.

I don't understand why these are surfacing now. Why would it take so long? What are these dreams trying to tell me, and so frequently and suddenly recurring? I don't even know the right questions to ask because I'm just baffled.

Any insight?

**Kiza** · 03-12-2008 01:12 PM

I'm not an expert on this but have you had any issues with your dad lately?

**watergirl** · 03-12-2008 06:02 PM

No, I saw him 2 years ago and it was the same thing. So I tried to maintain communication with him and it became the same thing. And we haven't talked, again, in a little over a year.

**drmrgrl** · 03-12-2008 06:35 PM

it could be that right after you asserted your independance and everything, you buried those hateful memories as a subconscious way for your body to heal. now, that your body feels safe and everything, the memories arent as heavily buried in the back of your mind and they are accidently resurfacing.

im no genious with dream psycology, but its just an idea

**Kiza** · 03-13-2008 07:07 AM

hmm, sorry I've not got much. But drmrgrl's idea sounds plausible. Anyone else got any ideas for watergirl?

**Interested1** · 03-13-2008 07:19 AM

I'd make a post in dream interpretation. You may get more responses there.

As for my own opinion? He's 70, and (I'm guessing) probably doesn't have that much time left here. You have to come to a place that you can find/make peace with whatever happened all those years ago. His problem is not with you, it's with himself and with God...you just get the brunt of it. It's sad, but it's often the ones we love that we hurt the most.

I would try to find a way to reconcile things. Even if it's just a letter saying your piece, and letting go of the anger and hurt. Forgivness is a choice...you may never forget, but you can certainly forgive and with that forgivness comes freedom. You are no longer held in bondage behind walls. Does it mean that you have to forget? Of course not...you may never forget, but you can to be free from it...not locked up because of it.

Best of luck finding your answers...

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