Sorry if this is absolutely boring to ya'll but I need to type and what better place to go on about stuff then here.

CAUTION!

Just a warning unless your extremely bored your prolly not gonna want to read this.

End of Caution
Merrrrrrh(Depression)
Well folks. I'm sitting here typing. but of course you already knew that. Ok i'm stalling.
Not very good at this kindof thing. Nehow, To be honest I may know alot about lucid dreaming but as far as experience goes i have VERY little. It bugs me too. because, Sometimes--Most of the time if I could have one wish. Just one. It would be that i could lucid dream at will. I have worked for many months to lucid dream, with only little success. And even at that only sparatic, isolated intervals. *sigh* I have worked on my dream recall so much that for a time I could easily remember five dreams a night. sometimes more. But still little sucess. I refuse to believe that I "can't" lucid dream. But there always that lingering doubt. Ugh! its like a endless hill. and you keep climbing, and climbing, and climbing. And you keep hoping and praying. because you know that soon you'll reach the top and then its all downhill. But theres a problem. The hill keeps going up. Always up. And I can't seem to see the top. Lucid dreaming is one of things I've wanted most in my entire life. And now, what am I to do. What will I, Leoj, Do about it? I've asked myself this question many times. and yet. I keep answering the same. Well, I guess i'm just gonna have to keep trying. But i'm afraid that one time. I'm just gonna give up. My will to go on wil be exstinguished. and I will no longer try. I know anyone whos gotten this far prolly is thinking that i'm either loony, depressed, or just weird. But in fact I'm usually optimistic. I dont know why i'm this low right now. Well......I do know why. Its because of all the failed attempts. All the effort without fruit. All the time and energy devoted to this, without seeing barely anything to show for it.*sigh*
in a few minutes i'm going to go to bed. And i'm going to tell myself that i'm going to have a lucid dream. I trust and hope that I will. But i'm afraid that if I dont, then in the morining I'll just --give up--

I dont know, No one has prolly read this far anyways, but if you have. Thanks. I dont really need anyone to reply if you dont want to. I just had to get this stuff off my mind.