Someone Please Help Me!!

[maikeru0607]

Ok... I don't know anything about this lucid dreaming... But that doesn't matter at the moment.I need some help with a friend of mine about a dream, er, nightmare she had. But all the other websites cost money or something like that. Actually this girl is my girlfriend...that's one reason why im so worried about it. I need help ASAP. Ok, here goes.... I am going to tell you EXACTLY what she wrote to me... She wouldn't tell me at first, but i talked her into telling me... here it is: "I had a nightmare, it was horrible. Things were happening, things I won't say alloud. Everyone had turned their backs on me, laughing at me, calling me names. I had killed my family...and... Amy. My family had frustrated me because they didn't care, and Amy frustrated me becase...she stole you from me.. All of my friends, everyone, even people that didn't know me, were all laughing and hitting me. And then I saw a light and everyone stopped laughing, all was quiet. I headed towards the light and I could hear singing. I saw people I knew, dead people, waving and singing too. I almost reached the light, but then I woke up, gasping for breath..." We have been dating for about a week... and I have found out that her family, her step dad and real mom, hasn't given her any attention all of her life, and they hardly say two words to her, unless they are yelling at her. I think that this is a factor for the nightmare she had. She had this nightmare two days after we started dating, and hasn't slept since. She is scared to go to sleep. She thinks that she will really get hurt or die. I have tried telling her that dreams, or nightmares, can hurt you physically, most of the time not even mentally or emotionally. But she still can't sleep. I have done alot of research on dreams and nightmares since she told me about it, and im stumped. I dont know what else to say to her. I need help. I am a religous guy and she goes to church. I said that maybe God is tying to tell her something. I asked how long it had been since she last prayed. She didn't answer. Then I had to go to church and when I got home I talked to her again and she said that she prayed while I was gone. She said that she felt better, but still is afraid to go to sleep.

[jay dawg]

the last thing i wanna do is read anymore of that story. sorry but i want to keep my mind clear of those type of thoughts

[Dickie]

If you've read any of my other posts, you will gather I know squat about dreaming etc. I do know however, that when people are like that, the best thing you can do for them is get them to talk about it, and listen. Sometimes people keep these things bottled up inside and it does affect them both physically and mentally (I know several people who suffer with depression, anxiety and other problems brought on by family problems). If she gets so bad as to call it depression, see about some counselling maybe? Just my input.

[maikeru0607]

She has had couseling... But from what I can tell, since we've been dating, she has improved especially since she told me about it in the first place. I think it helps for her to know that someone actually does care for her. Anyways, she has already been to couseling for it. It didn't help.

[Dickie]

A lot of people say counselling doesn't help them, but usually it does and they don't admit it becuase they don't want to admit there was a problem in the first place, or they don't realise how it made a difference. Like I said, I know people who have been through this, and they all fell into one of those groups. But good on you for helping her.

[nina]

Hey there, welcome to the forum. First of all maybe you should point her in our direction? I mean since she is afraid to sleep and all. She needs to know that nothing can hurt her in her dreams and that she can even learn to take control of them and change what happens in them. Alot of people find Dream Views because of nightmares...but they learn through lucid dreaming techniques HOW to realize when you are dreaming and how to change the dream/nightmare or wake up from it if you want. Maybe there are some things about her dreams that she needs to confront. It's great that she has been talking to you about this...talking to people always helps. Let her know that there are alot of people here who are willing to help as well. It sounds like she has had a rough life...maybe since dating you things have sort of come up from the surface and she is experiencing emotions that she had supressed and that could be the reason for such a dream. Maybe once she confronts these emotions she won't be afraid anymore. Again, talking to a therapist could help but if she is skeptical she is always welcome here and we will do our best to help. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything. -nina