Oh no, here we go again. I think I'm losing more and more shame every time I post in this thread. Soon I will be shameless.
Leo, you are right. If one is too far aroused, they have to get up and walk around to cool down. Otherwise there is not a chance of them going back to sleep without releasing. nightowl is correct as well. Male arousal follows an exponential curve, female arousal is more like a step function (like a side view of a staircase). As long as you stay on the lower part of the exponential curve you should be fine.
What this means is touching the penis is a no-no. Thoughts and fantasies are fine, but hand going below the waist and it's all over. A good compromise is playing with one's nipples. If you feel secure enough, feel free to do it. If you feel too close to arousal, try thinking of all that sexual energy spreading out to all over your body except your genitals.
There is one thing I read not too long ago on energy work, basically being able to control one's own sexual energy. If I find the link, I can PM it, maybe post it (has pictures of a naked man masturbating, not sure if it's appropriate).
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