Idea to not be scared if i meet something scary in a dream!

**Arilou** · 01-08-2013 03:27 PM

I am a major scaredy cat sadly, and I'm scared to do any type of thing like WILD etc. because I don't want to meet my fears. But I had an idea: instead of being scared I should ask them to teach me something. Like for example Samara from the ring is seriously freaking me out right now. What if I were to ask her how to burn images onto the wall or walk out of t.v's? Do you think she would be nice? It's sad I'm scared of her because I also feel really sorry for her while I'm terrified. I mean, come on! She had no friends and her mother killed her! Thanks!!! And maybe this would be a good way to not be scared of other things too!

**elucid** · 01-08-2013 03:44 PM

Well, knowing that it is a dream and can not hurt you should be enough to not be scared.

**Arilou** · 01-08-2013 05:29 PM

I know but I think I would have more confidence with a plan. I have always been scared of basically every scary movie I've seen. I have nightmares of the characters for years after I see the movies

**gab** · 01-08-2013 08:57 PM

What worked for me is to believe that I won't dream about anything scary. When I did, I told the scary thing "you are good and I love you" and it changed back into normal, not scary thing.

**elucid** · 01-09-2013 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by gab

What worked for me is to believe that I won't dream about anything scary. When I did, I told the scary thing "you are good and I love you" and it changed back into normal, not scary thing.

That is a good idea, kinda like "its a dream, dream of something nice instead of scary".

I know but I think I would have more confidence with a plan.

That depends on the scary thing. If it is a monster, start running or fighting it. if drowning, you should swim to the top. If falling, try to fly. If really scary, try to wake up. But again, none of these should cause you any harm, so this shouldnt be that big of a deal.

**Arilou** · 01-09-2013 05:44 AM

All right thanks! I should just not think of it as scary. Ill try these and hopefully ill be fine!

**CatsPajamas** · 02-09-2013 07:59 AM

(Sorry if this is a bit late.) Here is a story of someone using kindness to conquer their nightmares.

"This time it was an almost childish nightmare, in which my collective fears took the shape of a large, nebulous but very scary monster. I quailed and almost turned tail, but by sheer will (I was really scared) I stayed and let it approach. I said to myself "it's my dream, and if I forget this, I'll have to go through it again," and I smiled as sincerely as I could. What's more, I spoke as calmly as I could, a big step since waking or sleeping terror leaves me speechless. I said something like "I'm not afraid. I want to be friends. You're welcome to my dream!" and almost as soon as I said it, the monster became friendly, delightedly so. I was ecstatic. Needless to say, I awoke quickly, still saying "I did it!"

**Darkmatters** · 02-09-2013 08:09 AM

^^ Excellent advice!! Last year I dreamed I saw a bear, which have always been nightmare creatures for me. Usually if I see one I only have a few seconds before it's a full-fledged nightmare. But this time for some reason seeing it made me lucid and instead of running away I ran toward it, threw my arms open as if to hug it, and started flying toward it, my heart filled with joy (the joy of becoming lucid helped). As I drew near it resolved into two dogs, as if I had only been seeing it wrong - and in fact they were my 2 old dogs (deceased) so it was a joyful reunion. I've heard countless stories of similar events from many lucid dreamers.

Both the fight and flight response are known to bring out the killer instinct in predators - it's when you embrace them they don't know what to do except embrace back. This actually works to a large extent in waking life too - rather than antagonize or try to escape from an argument, find some common ground and handle it as if you're actually allies with a common problem. It won't *always* work IWL, but many times it will - at the very least it makes it a lot harder for the other person to see you as the enemy, which is the point. But if you accept the false dichotomy of fight or flight you're actually inflaming the aggression and making them into a much bigger enemy.