Having Trouble breaking through that beginner phase

[dragongirl253]

I've been trying to LD for about 5 weeks now with almost nothing to show for it. The closest I've gotten is one time during a conversation with a DC, I was able to choose the general jist of what I was saying. I've also consistantly be able to realize I'm dreaming aroung 15 seconds before the dream ends, AND I do nothing with that time or knowledge. Other milestones I've hit that aren't lucidity related are: I can now remember exact words spoken by DC's and I can occasionally remember two dreams in one night. I really wanna have a lucid dream, and, even after thinking about it for quite a long time, I can't figure out what the heck might be stopping me, aside from the problem of failing to to lucid itself. I'm thinking perhaps I focus too much on dream recall? My only mantra is, "I will remember my dreams tonight," because I find the effects to be more concentrated with only 1 mantra. However, being able to remember dreams is just about the only thing keeping me from losing motivation. I've already lost motivation before for several days, and, even though I feel I've got that mostly in check, I'm worried that I might end up quitting my efforts if I don't see results soon. =( Reality checks are going well; I'm in the habit of automatically doing them any time something out of the ordinary happens, whenever I see anything that's familiar from a dream, whenever the thought to do one crosses my mind, or whenever any related thought crosses my mind. Every time I RC, I automatically ask or think, "I wonder if I'm dreaming now?" or "I could be dreaming right now," so I'm not doing them mindlessly or just to do them. For those curious, I only do DILD and some MILD. WILD is out of the question (as of now) for several reasons. Sorry for wall of text, but, just... Does anyone have any suggestions or techniques specifically for getting through all this beginner BS?

[splodeymissile]

If you've been getting lucid towards the end of the dream, then you're on the right track. Perhaps you're getting too excited and destabilizing the dream? Your dream recall is amazing considering how long you've been at it, so the only advice I can impart regarding that is keep at it. Perhaps you're trying too hard? Some people can try for years and have nothing, only to give up and have one out of the blue. So, maybe slow down a bit. That said, don't outright give up on recall, its still an important aspect. Reality checks seem to be going well. It shouldn't be long before they become habit for your dream self. One technique that is great for getting through a dry spell, is WBTB, so, try that if you can. Finally, never get demotivated. Even if you fail, you can still learn something, such as better understanding of your own sleep cycles, or using your recalled dreams to learn more about your subconscious. Keep at it and you'll get there. After all, you've already had some lucids, albeit brief ones.

[MasterMind]

The biggest problem for begginers is their judgement of themselves and that is what is stopping them from learning. At first you start out, hear about lucid dreaming, find a method that you believe is going to make you lucid and seems to work for everyone else and then you try it out one night or perhaps a few weeks and it doesn't give you the result you were hoping for and then you judge yourself and feel bad. In order to deal with this you need to start with doing one thing. And this is to realize that this is NORMAL. Look around the forum and you will see that you are not a special snowflake, so there is no need to judge yourself. I am going to avoid to make this a wall of text and go straight to the point. Edit: Well that failed ... xD In order to become successful with this (or anything else) you need to let go of outcome or atleast lower your expectations and think in longterm instead of short-term. It will feel patethic and you wonder why you even practise. Believe me I am a dude trying to learn to get good with women in nightclubs and bars. Which might sound like a weird hobby but I like to call it self-improvement. And that is an emotional rollercoaster.. I am telling you this to realize that waking up a morning and judging yourself because you didn't had a lucid dream is nothing compared to waking home alone a night after a cold night out in the club, judging your entire personality. xD For lucid dreaming I was lucky enough to have the right mindset from the start, but I too suffered from self-judgement of course, it's human! But what I did before I started to really progress was that I let go of the idea of becoming lucid, and put my time in learning rather than trying to achieve something. Now I am a moderator of the forum and before that I was a dream guide giving advice to the new people. But I don't see myself as some kind of master even though my nick is MasterMind... ANYONE can do what I have done. I just continued to enjoy the practise and slowly and steadily improved. Just try to get an interest in the lucid dreaming practise itself and you are going to enter a positive circle and slowly but steady progress and this progression will speed up with time. In any kind of practise you need to start by getting beaten up, frustrated, fail over and over in order to eventually learn and master something. So when you fail it's actually something good in the longterm view, because it's from your failures you learn the most. Even though it doesn't feel like that at the time, it's the hard truth. And this is why most people don't succeed, because they are not willing to go through that process. But you are still new to this, I have practised this for years so it is easy for me to say. But just stick with it and I promise you that you will learn and improve. But start with letting go of attaining some result and start to focus on learning from your experiences.

[dragongirl253]

Splodeymissile, the thing is, yes, I end up realizing I'm dreaming, but no, I'm not becoming lucid. 5-15 seconds before the dream naturally ends, I'll kinda just be like, "Huh. I've been dreaming for the past half hour," then either completely ignore this knowledge or get sidetracked immediately afterwards. I'm assuming that the only reason I'm able to make this realization is because I'm waking up. Also, I somehow doubt I'm trying to hard, because all I'm doing is reality checks, my one, non-lucidity-related mantra, and occasionally having a few minutes where I just stop and think, "Gee. It'd be really cool if tonight ended up being my first lucid dream." As for WBTB... It's actually one of the bigger reasons why I don't try WILD. Not only do I have sort of circumstantial insomnia that basically keeps me up for the rest of the night once I wake up for the first time, but I also have parents who I'm sure wouldn't appreciate my alarm going off for 15 minutes while I finish up a sleep cycle at 2 am. And mastermind, I... think that's what I'm already doing? I kind of spend parts of the day just thinking to myself, "It sucks that I haven't had a lucid yet, but I'll have one eventually." and I pretty much always go to bed thinking something along the lines of, "I'm probably not going to have a lucid dream tonight, but it'd be nice if I at least got closer to one or at least remembered my dreams." In fact, now that I actually think about it, I don't think my goal is even to have a lucid anymore, (well, my ultimare goal is, but, ya know.) but something more along the lines of just making any amount of progress towards LD'ing that didn't happen just due to coincidence. (i.e. How I probably realize I'm dreaming in the last few seconds because I'm waking up and gaining that tiny bit of consciousness.) This probably isn't the same as what you were talking about, but... it's something?

[CNGB]

If you realize that you're dreaming, even for a second, then you've had a lucid dream. It might be the lowest level of lucidity that there is, but it was still lucid. It seems to me that the thing that you need to work on the most is stabilizing your dreams. The two most common actions to do this are rubbing your hands together or spinning in circles. These might not work, however, because you always become conscious towards the end of your dream. The only way I know how to do that would be to switch your mantra around to something like, "I am going to become lucid in the middle of my dream," but you're not wanting to do that. . . . Therefore, the best thing I know for you to do in regards to actually having a lucid dream is to try to be patient. Eventually you'll see a difference. Progress, however, is a different story. The only thing I know for you to do that might work is to become much, much more dedicated to the practice of lucid dreaming. A few months ago I read other peoples' dream journals so much, executed so many reality checks, repeated so much of my mantra ("I am going to have a lucid dream and remember it"), that I didn't have a lucid dream; I dreamed of preparing for a lucid dream, the ritual that I do every night. It wasn't much, but it was progress. I've also had false awakenings before, which is another sign of progress. If you can get either of those then you'll know that you're even closer. By the way, as long as you think "I'm probably not going to have a lucid dream tonight," you won't have one. The single most important key to lucidity is confidence. Kind of a to people who eventually get pessimistic about things, but that's what it is. I'm sorry that you haven't had a lot of luck with lucid dreaming so far, but I hope that you do soon!

[dragongirl253]

Uh, this isn't really exactly the same topic as before, but... Is it a problem that I've actually accidentally become far more interested in just remembering my dreams than in having lucids? 'Cause everyone's being all like, "It takes time, practice, determination, dedication, etc., etc. to lucid dream." and all that, and due to my lack of what I consider progress (I'm not saying that I have super high expectations, just that things kinda have to meet a certain standard before my brain stops refusing to identify it as progress.) with actual LD'ing I've become far more interested in just being able to remember all of my dreams. Not to say I've completely lost interest in LD'ing, I still have plenty... I just have tons more in DR... OK, before I continue rambling for another 3 paragraphs, just, could this end up being a hindrance of any sort? EDIT/PS: In case anyone is/was facepalming due to me refusing to consider the realizing I'm dreaming that I described as an LD, I'mm'a go ahead and explain why I don't. (Mostly because I constantly feel the need to explain myself.) It's like, I don't even really realize I'm dreaming in those last few seconds, but it's more like, even though I don't become conscious at all, the thought, "Hey, I'm dreaming right now." kinda just passes through my dreamself's mind. Like my subconscious is almost teasing my conscious mind with the thought and the opportunity to obtain lucidity.

[PartyOnDudes]

I am also a beginner like yourself and have come close to my first LD but give up or fail or whatever an have been hit and miss for about a year stopping and quitting repetitively. I think mine and possibly yours are our confidence issues. For me I always thought how hard it was to lucid dream and whenever I heard someone say they had one I was just astounded. But ive changed my tacticts recently. Now I've learned to simplify it. I no longer stress about how I did the reality check or if I did it right I just believe that I can lucid dream and that it's really easy and throw in some awareness and thats that.Think of lucid dreaming as an easy task and just imagine how you'll do it. Believe in your methods and yourself and together we can overcome this lucid block