JoannaB, you are a very good person.
I for one am deeply confused. How can a person have "so MUCH control" and not be able to simply tone down their dream content, or, better yet, simply use that control to ignore their awareness? That may sound silly, but we all do it it waking-life every day. Also, if you're in so much control, what on earth is there to be afraid of? Not to mention that LD'ing has not been found, pretty much ever, to cause "chronic fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, catatonic depressive episodes, inability to get up in the morning." Sure, there can be some side effects from very long, very intense LD's, but they're limited to maybe a headache or being tired. And, of course, with all that control, long, intense LD's ought to be easily avoided.
I'm sorry, Bozoolie, but I'm afraid that your words simply do not line up with the actual nature of lucid dreaming. There might be something else wrong with you, which you should probably have checked by a doctor. Perhaps you may not have a clear understanding of what lucid dreaming is.
In other words, if you are naturally LD'ing with such great control, you would have nothing to be scared of, would easily be able to avoid all those waking-life problems, and would have mentioned at least once that you are actually aware in your dreams (what LD'ing is).
You might want to do a little research into what LD'ing is, or perhaps take a moment to better describe your experience, rather than the symptoms.
I won't call you a fraud, because you could certainly be telling the truth -- it just might be the truth about something that has nothing to do with LD'ing. I wish you luck in your search for an answer to your problem, but I have a feeling that you won't find it on a lucid dreaming forum.
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