Hi there, I wasn't sure whether to put this as my introduction or as a here, but as it is going to essentially be questions, I figured here was probably the best place to put it - although feel free to move it if I'm wrong!

Ok, so, I'm uneducated about Lucid Dreaming and whilst some of my future questions might pertain only to generic queries, my initial questions are personally relating to me. I have PTSD and various other conditions including a dissociative disorder stemming from over a decade of complex childhood abuse.

One of the many ways this affects me is nightmares, which is where Lucid Dreaming comes in. If I could in reduce my nightmares I would be very much relieved and LD'ing definitely seems to be something worth looking into for that.

Problem number 1: On a personal issue I have a problem, my nightmares relate to my abuse and abusers, if that were lucid, I'm fearful that it would be more re-traumatising rather than helpful. I do understand that LD'ing is supposed to be you being conscious that you are dreaming and that you have control over your dreams, I also understand there is such a thing as Lucid Nightmares where that control is lost, however you are aware that you are dreaming. I am terrified of the idea of my nightmares being more vivid and/or me being able to remember them better. How common are Lucid Nightmares and in a case with PTSD would LD'ing be helpful to control general nightmares or treacherous, possibly exposing you to more than you can handle? As it stands my sleep is riddled with nightmares and I wake up many times every night from them, with varying degrees of remembrance, but sleep still feels a little safer than being awake where instead I get flashbacks and panic attacks, if I lucid dream will it seem more dangerous when I sleep?

Problem number 2: When I'm awake, my dissociation affects me to the extent whether I wonder if (and often am convinced) I am dreaming, I don't really know reality exists when I'm awake, even more so around sleeping and waking - I've woken up and thought I was still dreaming or on a few occasions, dead before - on one incident several hours passed and I was more than a little pissed off that my Social Worker phoned me in my new found afterlife and it took most of the rest of the day to realise I was awake. I am scared on a daily basis of waking up and being back when the abuse was still going and also separately of not waking up and another part of me waking up and I would not be in control of my own body. If I have so little hold on reality should I be messing with making my dreams more real, won't this add to the confusion or will in fact help?

Problem number 3: I'm tired when I wake up, exhausted from the previous night, it's a never ending cycle of tiredness. I feel oddly both too aware and barely aware of anything at the same time. If I lucid dream will I not be more tired in the morning from having been conscious during my sleep? Can I choose to dream normally after gaining the ability to dream lucidly?

And finally from what you've read here (obviously depending on your answers), do you think that Lucid Dreaming could be helpful for me/something that I should consider or do you think I should avoid it at all costs?

Thanks for reading, sorry for the length!