A Shameless "Help Me" Thread

[Khaz]

Alright, I don't know what I've been doing wrong (or just plain not doing), but it's been well over a month since my last LD, and it's starting to get me depressed. At first, I was doing so well! In less than two weeks, I had my first one, and 1.5 more in the next two weeks. The last one I had was just amazing, and really had me inspired for a while. Then I don't know what happened, but I just lost it. I haven't had another one since then, and even my recall has been slipping away! I've tried everything I could think of, and I haven't seen any improvement at all. (I've even tried not trying, and that just made things much worse...) So far, I've experimented with just about every technique out there, with essentially no success. The only LDs I had were just out of luck anyways. I've tried WILD a lot, but never managed to get close to a dream with it. I've tried MILD with minimal success, and attempted many of the other ones I've found here with no results. I also do reality checks several times every day, as many as I can seem to make myself do (an estimate is about 15-20). I.... don't know what else to say. I'm desperate, depressed and willing to do whatever it takes.... Any and all suggestions are welcome, and if anyone here actually helps me solve my problem I will be in their debt forever. Lastly, I would just like to say that I feel really guilty for having made this topic...

[Wee YaK]

do u have a dream journal? at the begaining of the summer this year i started dreamrecall just becasue i wanted to know about my dreams ( i didnt know about lucid dreaming yet ) The first time i did it i remembered my dream amazingly i think i had about 4 and i actually could walk through themstep by step just as clearly as if it really happened. But i didnt keep a journal and i forgot them a day or so later. I kept trying to do recall but as i practiced more and more the less i would remember about each of my dreams. Then afew months ago i started writing in a journal even though i would barley remember my dreams anymore. The more u write the more u remember next time u sleep. also one mistake i make is when i wake up after each of my dreams i somtimes have a habit of just thinking ill remember it in the morning so i just go back to bed. That is not a good idea i usually forget that dream then and just remember my last one. Do u do reality checks often even when your awake? I like to draw a dot on my hand and whenevr i see it i try to stick my finger through it.

[gameover]

Dry spells are common. If youve had a few, and it sounds like good ones, youll get more. Just keep a dream journal up and youll be fine. Keep writing them and staying in tune with dreams in general. Relax.

[Khaz]

First, I've had a dream journal from the very beginning of all this, and I write down practically everything... I've only had 3 so far, and one doesn't even count... Only the last one was really good, but it was still quite low level lucidity. As for relaxing, I've been everything from relaxed to optimistic to frantically desperate. I'm not particlarly stressed out about it, but it is really depressing.

[gameover]

I feel your pain, believe me. When I started, way before coming to this site, I had one crappy one and one decent one and then ,same as you, they just stopped. I made the mistake of giving up and didnt get back into again for at least a year. Dont get frustrated from a one month dry spell. Thats nothing in the long run. And if you're in it for the long run, youll be fine. This whole thing shouldnt be depressing. If it is, you're missing the point.

[Khaz]

Well, it is depressing! I want this so badly, and yet I don't know what to do. Generally, it's more frustrating than anything. I'm a math/science person, and so normally for everything I to there's a tried and true method that just takes a bit of work. With this, I have no idea whatsoever what I'm doing, and that frustrates me. Today, I'm just more depressed about it than anything. If you say it will come back, then I will believe you. Still, any advice on something specific I could try would be greatly appreciated....

[gameover]

Maybe I could help. send me a private message and Ill work with you personally.

[Khaz]

Very well then. Still, I look forward to comments from anyone else with advice...

[indianinks]

Hey Khaz, I know what you're talking about I experience the same feelings when I had never been lucid at all. What worked for me was stopping all conscious thoughts about lucid dreaming. I stopped coming to the forums and just stopped thinking about it, letting myself get wrapped up in other things. Within a few days I had my first lucid dream. I think when you push yourself so hard and keep thinking about it and keep thinking about it, your brain wants to shut it out. So give yourself a rest, and dont come to the forums for two days. See where it gets you, the worst that could happen would be you stay in your dryspell. Good luck!

[Middlerun]

I agree. Relax, don't try too hard, just try to expect a lucid dream to come soon. Believe it will, and it probably will. Also try WBTB with MILD, I just ended a 2 month dry spell with that and have had 2 LDs in 3 nights.

[Khaz]

Well, first of all, I already said I'd tried not trying... All it did was cause me to remember nothing at all.... Also, what do you mean by "WBTB with MILD"? How exactly are you combining them?

[Nugget75]

What he means is you to WBTB by the normal. Waking up, reading about dreaming etc. Then when you go to bed you use the MILD technique. MILD is something you do in your bed, while WBTB is something you do out of it. So you combine them that way. As for your dry spell, I'm almost up to a month too. Incredibly painful, but since lucid dreaming is so amazing I'm keeping at it. Most other things I would've given up on.

[Leo Volont]

Dear Khaz, The Answer would be contained in your Ordinary Dream Content. Your Desire to have Lucid Dreams is certainly getting through to your Dream Mind, and your Dream Mind has had plenty of time to fabricate and present an Answer for you in your Ordinary Dreaming. So, what have your Dreams been telling you? PM me if you like.

[Khaz]

Originally posted by Leo Volont Dear Khaz, The Answer would be contained in your Ordinary Dream Content. *Your Desire to have Lucid Dreams is certainly getting through to your Dream Mind, and your Dream Mind has had plenty of time to fabricate and present an Answer for you in your Ordinary Dreaming. *So, what have your Dreams been telling you? PM me if you like. I'm terribly sorry Leo, but.... What? My ordinary dreams are just that: Ordinary. Nothing physically impossible ever happens in them, and most often they're just boring.

[Oneiro]

QUOTE: "At first, I was doing so well! In less than two weeks, I had my first one, and 1.5 more in the next two weeks.<SNIP> I.... don't know what else to say. I'm desperate, depressed and willing to do whatever it takes.... Any and all suggestions are welcome, and if anyone here actually helps me solve my problem I will be in their debt forever." First, I'd have to ask the question: why do you want to learn lucid dreaming?

[Khaz]

Originally posted by Oneiro First, I'd have to ask the question: why do you want to learn lucid dreaming? Why does anyone? Seriously, there are too many reasons to name. First off, to do cool impossible stuff, of course. Second, to try to use it, possibly to get in touch with my "self" or something like that. You know, one of those "spiritual" things... I could get specific and all, but like I said, there's just too much to list.

[Oneiro]

QUOTE: "Why does anyone?" Hundreds of reasons, not all of which are the right ones. I've just registered here today, and one of the first site messages that I had to read in order to register was about having the right reasons to do lucid dreaming, not doing it for the wrong reasons. If I'm confusing you, let me elaborate: some people want to learn it for pecuniary and sexual reasons, amongst others. Your personal psyche will denote the very nature of the dream scenarios you will experience, so, it goes without saying that if you are, for example, a violent person, you will experience violent scenarios. I hope that I don't have to elaborate on other possible dream scenarios that match possible psyches. That is why I asked that question.. So.. first and foremost, you have to be 100% sure that you want to do it for the right reasons. You've gotta ask yourself this. Only you can know.

[Khaz]

I've just registered here today, and one of the first site messages that I had to read in order to register was about having the right reasons to do lucid dreaming, not doing it for the wrong reasons. If I'm confusing you, let me elaborate: some people want to learn it for pecuniary and sexual reasons, amongst others. Your personal psyche will denote the very nature of the dream scenarios you will experience, so, it goes without saying that if you are, for example, a violent person, you will experience violent scenarios. I hope that I don't have to elaborate on other possible dream scenarios that match possible psyches. That is why I asked that question.. So.. first and foremost, you have to be 100% sure that you want to do it for the right reasons. You've gotta ask yourself this. Only you can know.[/b] Well, let me assure you, I didn't start doing this just to have dream sex or anything like that. (Not that I would be opposed to trying it, though ) I have my reasons, and while I could go on listing and justifying them, you can rest assured that my reasons are sound.

[Oneiro]

Hi again.. I think your dreaming problem lies within. You say that you're "doing it for the right reasons" and then you say that you wouldn't be averse to having sex in a lucid dream. With an attitude like that, you could be heading for big trouble. Sex in lucid dreaming is very dangerous. If you had ever asked a sexual partner in dreaming about the true nature of what you were doing, you wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, I assure you.

[Khaz]

Originally posted by Oneiro Hi again.. I think your dreaming problem lies within. You say that you're \"doing it for the right reasons\" and then you say that you wouldn't be averse to having sex in a lucid dream. With an attitude like that, you could be heading for big trouble. Sex in lucid dreaming is very dangerous. If you had ever asked a sexual partner in dreaming about the true nature of what you were doing, you wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, I assure you. Oh really? I truly have no idea what you're talking about.... EDIT: Well, anyways... If you have advice on my problem, I would appreciate it if you would post it here. If you wish to question me further on my motivation, then please PM me about it, where I will explain more if necessary. Also note that I will probably not be here over the weekend....

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by Khaz I'm terribly sorry Leo, but.... *What? My ordinary dreams are just that: *Ordinary. *Nothing physically impossible ever happens in them, and most often they're just boring. Apparently what I had to say was so out of the ordinary... considering the unimaginative 'same ol same ol' advice that runs so currently upon this page, that since it was not the same thing as everyone else was saying, you had a difficult time understanding it, supposing I meant the same as everybody else, but must have been phrasing myself poorly. No I wasn't. But let us move on. You wanted to know why you could not have a Lucid Dream although it was your deepest most heart felt desire. But now what you have done is to insult your Dream Mind by insisting that your dreams are "boring" and imply that they would hardly rate anyway because you are not dazzled by any quasi-supernatural phenomena (which should be hardly much of a concern within ordinary dreaming since apparently supernatural phenomena within a Dream is largely gratuitous). So, I think we have arrived at the Crux of the Matter... and that is that your Dream Mind has as much contempt for you as you do for it, and it will scarcely do you any favors under such circumstances. You need to be able to develop and acquire an appreciation of your Ordinary Dreaming... to show some Respect... and then perhaps you will be allowed to graduate up to an occassional Lucid Dream.

[TygrHawk]

Originally posted by Oneiro Sex in lucid dreaming is very dangerous. I would be very interested to hear the explanation behind this.

[Oneiro]

Hi again TygrHawk.. I thought I'd already explained it?! "If you had ever asked a sexual partner in dreaming about the true nature of what you were doing, you wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, I assure you." That says it all.

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by TygrHawk I would be very interested to hear the explanation behind this. Regarding the notion that Sex in Dreams can be dangerous... They call them "Wet" Dreams, but I never heard of anybody being drowned.

[♥Mark]

Originally posted by Leo Volont Regarding the notion that Sex in Dreams can be dangerous... They call them \"Wet\" Dreams, but I never heard of anybody being drowned. HAhahaha ha hah a h ah a hah a ah You know in movies when people go to take a drink, and someone else says something shocking/hillarious to make them spit it all out? Yeah... it just happened to me.