Thread: My Paper On Lucid Dreaming...

cool I bet you made alot of people interested

not bad, not bad....

couple of things though.

first of all, the first paragraph, I don't like the way you keep explaining why you chose the topic...I don't know, I just don't think it sounds good.

I don't like how you consistantly refer to lucid dreaming as "being lucid". because the word "lucid" simply means "aware", you can be lucid while you're not dreaming. like here,

But I myself have been Lucid before..[/b]

I think it would sound better if you said \"But I myself have experienced lucid dreaming..\" see?

I don't like the second paragraph. I don't like how you explained how to do the MILD technique..the paper is appearently about lucid dreaming in general, not how to have them.

and this line here,

Sense being Lucid puts you in your own “imaginary world” anything[/b]

\"sense\" should be \"since\". I'm pretty sure you meant \"because\", which, I think that would sound much better here...it would probably sound better like this:

\"Because lucid dreaming puts you in your own 'imaginary world'...\"

and the last paragraph, you use too many quotation marks. you could probably word it differently so as to not use so many...

You are in a world where you are “god”. [/b]

and that, I *personally* don't think you should say that. it may offend some people...

also. the word \"just\". try not to use that word so much.


last thing,

From skateboarding to winning the lottery to telling someone to stay after class and even to skateboarding[/b]

you said skateboarding twice. I dunno if you meant to do that or not. and as for winning the lottery, I dunno why you would want to do that in a dream...why would you need money when you could just conjure up anything you want. so you may want to change it to something other than that...\"fly\", maybe?

I love the last line,

Anything that you can imagine, you can do. [/b]

that sounds GREAT.

so over-all this is good, but it needs some work.

Pretty cool! Did you get into any neat discussions afterward?

ok. the first thing is. i didn't present it yet. lol. i do it in like 2 days, maybe three at the most. now for Paperdoll EP's comments:

" first of all, the first paragraph, I don't like the way you keep explaining why you chose the topic...I don't know, I just don't think it sounds good. "

-i only did that cuz i have to, i have to explain why i chose what i chose.

" I don't like how you consistantly refer to lucid dreaming as "being lucid". because the word "lucid" simply means "aware", you can be lucid while you're not dreaming. like here, Quote:
But I myself have been Lucid before..
I think it would sound better if you said "But I myself have experienced lucid dreaming.." see? "

-not everyone is as smart as u and knows the meaning of that. i tried wording my paper so that it was as basic as possible.

"I don't like the second paragraph. I don't like how you explained how to do the MILD technique..the paper is appearently about lucid dreaming in general, not how to have them. "

-the paper is actually about anything we wanted to do. i wrote why i chose to do it on lucid dreaming. the paper though isn't the "final copy". we have to do a speech on it. i just wanted to explain one of the induction tenquies.

" and this line here,
Quote:
Sense being Lucid puts you in your own “imaginary world” anything


"sense" should be "since". I'm pretty sure you meant "because", which, I think that would sound much better here...it would probably sound better like this:

"Because lucid dreaming puts you in your own 'imaginary world'..." "

- i am going to change it to that sentence, sound good, thnx.

and the last paragraph, you use too many quotation marks. you could probably word it differently so as to not use so many...

-i wanted to use that many for my "posture" and "hand motions" or sumthing like that. it's in the critea for the rubric for the paper. that tells me when to qutation mark words. i'm gonna do it in a Dr.Evil sorta way to get the class more interested or at least get a few laughs.

Quote:
You are in a world where you are “god”.


and that, I *personally* don't think you should say that. it may offend some people...

also. the word "just". try not to use that word so much.

-i'm just using that line because it helps describe the emmence amount of power you have while being lucid.

last thing, Quote:
From skateboarding to winning the lottery to telling someone to stay after class and even to skateboarding


you said skateboarding twice. I dunno if you meant to do that or not. and as for winning the lottery, I dunno why you would want to do that in a dream...why would you need money when you could just conjure up anything you want. so you may want to change it to something other than that..."fly", maybe?

-i didn't mean to put skateboarding twice, i meant to put flying for the 2nd one, i'll change that 2. and for winning the lottery, i just put that because that's one of everyone's "dreams" and i just wanted to show the veriaty of things u can do while lucid. they don't kno about conjuring up things either, lol. the speech is supposed to be 2-4 minutes, lol. it's kinda hard to explain things like that in 2-4 minutes.

I love the last line, Quote:
Anything that you can imagine, you can do.
that sounds GREAT.

so over-all this is good, but it needs some work.

-thnx. i had some stuff about dreamviews.com at the end of the paper but i wanted that line to be the last line. i agree that it sounds good. thnx for ur input...

Ok. First of all, I dont know if it is college or high school paper. I dont know the age and attitude of audience.

I dont like the first paragraph. It introduces concept way too quickly and

it may not catch attention of the class. Unless you are a very good speaker.


I also dont see concrete structure of your speech. Its somewhat all over

the place.

You may want to mention some history (LD were used by eastern, african and south american cultures)

You may mention an ongoing scientific research by several independent researchers. Including Dr. Stephen LaBerge.

You may add that LD is a part of unused human potential, and most

children experience their first lucid dream at the age of 5-7, but without guidance, they dont practice this ability.

Lucid dreaming is a very, *very* sensitive topic, I dont know how the

audience will react. If you expect questions, try to have a LD within next

3 days or else borrow someone's description.

Not bad...it does need some work though, I would think, in the way it is all introduced and developed...

P.S I would change the thousands to hundreds of users as we haven't even reached the 1000 mark as of yet...