Control is not part of lucid dreaming, its just a benefit that comes from it.
Lucid dreaming is knowing your dreaming. So if your rubbing your hands together to try and prevent waking up, then you know its a dream and are therefor lucid.

I think the feeling of waking up differs from person to person and dream to dream. Sometimes I just start to feel my real body and its a slow transition. Other times its instant, and sometimes I just feel funny and my vision fades out then I wake up with no recollection or how much time passed between the fade out and the wake up.