It's especially frustrating because I still remember in vivid clarity the last LD I had a few years back. Of course back then I didn't know what the heck it was, but it's especially annoying, because I've realized after stumbling upon Lucid Dreaming, that those years ago, I had unintentionally WILDed, without any effort whatsoever.

I still remember it happened one Saturday morning, after I'd just woken up, and was lying on my bed. I was feeling lazy, so I just laid there, and the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes, and jumped off my bed, and got about to normal day business. Everything felt so real. I didn't think anything was amiss only until my mother started acting weirdly. Then I knew I was dreaming, and tried to force my body to move. But I couldn't. My whole body was frozen, in what I know now as Sleep Paralysis, and I when kept continually forced myself to reopen my eyes time and time again, the same thing happened - in what I know now as False Awakenings. I was completely Lucid in those dreams. It was extremely vivid, an almost out-of-body experience, as I felt I was stuck in another world, and my body couldn't move at all. It was scary, but now I know the truth of the matter, I realize how much fun I could have had in that dream, in that completely relaistic world.

That's why it's so frustrating, because I try to so hard, and am so close, but can only ever view dreams. I can't RC, I can only view what is playing out in my mind. There is no lucidity whatsoever. It's sad really, when you trying to master something which a few years ago, you fought so hard to escape from.