Waking Dreams and My fears

**Fallen.Rain** · 02-20-2005 08:25 AM

O.K. Where to begin?
Well, I have waking dreams. And yes. I've searched here and found some info. on it. Still, I would like some personal help. Lucid dreaming sounds wonderful. I'd love to be able to do it. I believe in astral projection and think that might help me in that as well. I understand if most people here don't That's fine, but if someone does I will value your imput as well.
So..... I have waking dreams. Many and varied. Always frightening. But now I've had this one in particular and I just don't know what to do. Me and my husband (bless him for being so considerate) are sleeping in the living room now so that I can have the sofa on one side of me and him on the other. This way I can't dream of anything being right next to me. This thing is affecting my life even deeper than that as my sleep is not so peaceful anymore, I.E. being afraid to go to sleep and even being afraid to go to a comfortable place (I'll explain in a moment, but first, the ?dream?)
So, here it is: Just a rose.
You see, Jonathan( my husband) bought me a dozen orange roses (I love the orange ones) and I had just taken care of them before going to bed, clipping off leaves that would waste water, cutting a bit off the stem to open them back up and so on and so forth.
So, I finished that up and went to bed feeling a whole lot better than I usually do these days. I mean, I was perfectly comfortable and happy thinking about my beautiful roses and drifted right off to sleep. Then I woke up, laying on my side, looking off the edge of the bed, where our closet is right next to me with only a small space to walk back and forth in. There, floating in mid-air was an orange rose. I sat up (which woke Jonathan) then I started screaming. And I don't mean the screams I've made before when something scared me in my sleep, I mean full-blown horror movie type screaming. Jonathan screamed as well. He didn't know what was going on. I was turned completely away from him, staring towards our closet where this rose hung in the air. He couldn't see what was frightening me and soon realized that I was dreaming or had been dreaming. Still, I went on screaming. I mean I drew several breaths in order to keep screaming. I was completely terrified and can't remember being that scared except for once which was another waking dream where I thought someone was in the room with me between the lightswitch and me and it was pitch black (this one has been explained). This may have even been scarier because at Jonathan's scream, I thought he saw it too. I shudder to think of it even now. In fact I had been thinking of moving the bed back into our room tonight but I don't think I can now. It was so real. And so close to me.
As I watched, and screamed my off (thank goodness our neighbors couldn't hear) it slowly faded away. At this I was even more terrified. I drew more breaths and screamed even louder. Jonathan,(who only screamed once) grabbed me and held me and eventually I finally stopped screaming. I just sat there, unable to look away from the spot where the rose had been as I had been unable to do the whole time, and shook violently. I'm shaking even now. I asked Jonathan, suddenly, to turn on the overhead light, frightened that there still might be something in the room, but don't get me wrong, a light had been on the whole time. Our lamp on the nightstand produces a good amount of light and this particular night was set brighter than normal so I could see quite clearly. No, I just wanted the glaring and safe brightness of the overhead light.
Well? What do you think? I've tried to make myself feel better by telling myself that it was a friendly force, like No-face in Spirited Away just trying to give me something that it knew I liked (since I obviously loved the roses) but the fear is unshakable. No matter what I tell myself, I remember the horror of the moment, the shear terror and I don't think I've ever been that terrified before, and I KNOW I've never been THAT terrified for THAT long before. It was and is
unshakable.

Relevance to this site? Well, I would love to lucid dream but this (and other experiences like it) have scared me to much to try. The same with astral projection, I've always been too scared to pull it off I think. I would like to get past this and prevent it from happening in the future.
FAQ(Frequently Answered Questions)
I've read other material on waking dreams but mine seem to be fundamentally different. I AM awake. I can read. Work things, like electrical devices. I can talk intelligibly, answer questions. I'm aware of everything around me, except I'm aware of some frightening anomaly as well. And that's the scary thing. I KNOW it's an anomaly. Whatever is there that shouldn't be there, I'm thinking perfectly logically about it and know it shouldn't be there and that just terrifies me all the more. I worry that my problem might be deeper. Some essential problem with the way my mind works and I just don't have the money to get tests run. I would love some help from everyone here. This is really effecting my life.
I've never had a lucid dream but I'd love to. First, I have to work through this.
Thank you and sorry about the length...

**Fallen.Rain** · 02-20-2005 08:28 AM

Oh yes.... as to why I'm afraid to go to a comfortable place.... I did that before I went to sleep. Meditating on my roses, their softness and lovelyness and kida a world of just roses. Look at what I got for it... makes me afraid to do it again.

**Aphius** · 02-20-2005 08:53 AM

Originally posted by Fallen.Rain
I've read other material on waking dreams but mine seem to be fundamentally different. I AM awake. I can read. Work things, like electrical devices. I can talk intelligibly, answer questions. I'm aware of everything around me, except I'm aware of some frightening anomaly as well. And that's the scary thing. I KNOW it's an anomaly. Whatever is there that shouldn't be there, I'm thinking perfectly logically about it and know it shouldn't be there and that just terrifies me all the more.

That is still a lucid dream, the dreams where things don't work properly and you cant read, are the low level ones where you are aware you're dreaming but things are still not right, not as stable etc.

The ones you sound like you have are high level Lucid dreams, not quite as common, mainly achieved by Natural lucid dreamers, i.e. those for who lucid dreams come frequently without having to strive for them like many of us, I've only ever had one.

Anyway, so let me get this straight, you saw this floating rose and it scared the life out of you? I'm only speaking for me here, but that doesn't seem like much to me, but it most likely means more to you than I.

What you said about it possibly being a friendly entity of some kind, that is what I would think, some form of benign or friendly creation of your mind taking the form of something you hold close. I mean, reading how you associated with the roses, perhaps you began dreaming, and this rose was there not to hurt or scare you, but intended to give you some form of guidance. However the level of awareness you encountered, on par with that of waking reality, knew that this rose should not be there and that scared the hell out of you, because we all know that giant floating roses aren't common.

Also, it sounds to me like you are running from your problem, while you researched, did you come across the concept of facing your nightmares?

**Fallen.Rain** · 02-20-2005 09:43 AM

Everyone says to me that it was a waking dream and it's not that I'm totally against the idea of it being only that, it's just that my husband was there and I can recount events exactly as he remembers them happening too. *shrugs* Just trying to get rid of this fear. I am running to an extent. I have to sleep at night. and I just can't sleep in there right now. But I am researching, reliving, and trying to understand it.
The rose didn't really mean anything except that it seemed supernatural. Something that shouldn't be there. Some foriegn force in my room, where I sleep.
I would like to find out how to make the waking dreams stop altogether. This one was the worst but by far not the only.

**sh2dak** · 02-20-2005 01:55 PM

hmm, thats interesting, very!

So you see everything as it is, except for added visuals created by your mind i.e the floating rose.
Do you see your husband when you have these waking dreams?
Or is the reality your dream world? Like instead of seing true reality your seing your dream before you?

From what you've said im jus guessin you see reality how it is, except you also see the dream visuals your mind creates(correct me if im wrong here).

Well, that fear you feel, its created by your mind(well its created by your mind anyway, lol, but you know what i mean), its the same in normal dreams, theres sometimes cases of being scared of even fruit, lol, funny as it seems you really do get scared, as if it was going to kill you, and as we all know emotions are 10x stronger in dreams, well this is what you felt with the rose, your mind created this fear, i dont know why, just as i dont know why it would for fruit, sometimes things just make no sense in dreams, its normal, and yes i realise you experienced a waking dream and not a sleeping dream, but the effects are the same. Its similar with the screaming, and although you took breathes which seemed as if you had complete control, you were too caught up in the fear, ive awoken screaming at times, which seemed involuntary at first but it was ME having a strong reaction to the fear, i know how you feel.

Now as for that really strong fear, that feeling of an evil, well this is because your awake while dreaming, its the same sort of situation as being in Sleep paralysis, that horrible evil your feeling is created by your mind also, dont get to caught up in the whole thing and coming out of it thinking that an alien is attacking you, i know it can be hard but its really just your mind fucking with you basically.

I dont think you could stop having waking dreams, it depends really, have you had them all your life? or only recently, or even just sometimes you do, sometimes you dont. well the cause could be some sort of stress, or maybe even a genetic disorder? Im not sure since ive not really researched into waking dreams, and at first reading your post, i thought, hmm how could a lucid dream help this woman? my first thoughts were, that it couldnt? i then thought some more and after thinking about it, if you mean being fully lucid while in a waking dream, if ur alredy not, then you could change the visuals your seing and make things seem less believable it'd be really hard thought since it seemsmore real than a dream specially because your awake and in reality.

Im not sure if this post has helped you, or if its just alot of crap?
but i hope it has and errm.......keep dreaming!

**Aphius** · 02-20-2005 02:10 PM

Originally posted by Fallen.Rain
I would like to find out how to make the waking dreams stop altogether.

I've read things on people who've had waking dreams involving entities that seem like they shouldn't be there before, and they seem to have just stopped after a period of time.

You might be interested in this topic here: http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7683

They couldn't stop them except for ths one guy who faced the thing in a hallway when his sister couldn't see it and it never darkened his doorway again.

Originally posted by Fallen.Rain
Just trying to get rid of this fear. I am running to an extent. I have to sleep at night. and I just can't sleep in there right now. But I am researching, reliving, and trying to understand it.
The rose didn't really mean anything except that it seemed supernatural.

So may I ask what exactly is so bad about this experience? It was just a rose, sure it seems like it shouldn't be there, but we all put up with a certain supernatural element as lucid dreamers. I mean, what could it possibly do to hurt you? Some of us have seen shit that'd turn you white!

Thats the concept of facing your fears/nightmares that I mentioned before. People who have dreams and nightmares where things chase them and they can't escape or whatever, they just turn and confront it and it stops chasing them all together. Maybe you should try and get it to show up again, whats the worst that could happen? You wake up screaming again?

You can't let something like this rule you.

You can do what sh2dak suggested and try and manipulate the visuals in your waking dreams, or perhaps you could try and induce a full blown Lucid Dream and tackle the things from there... My suggestion would be to face it, no matter how scary shit seems, its not as bad as it all that.

**BMJR** · 02-20-2005 03:06 PM

these long message make me nauseous, maybe i'll read when i'm not so tierd

**Aphius** · 02-20-2005 03:28 PM

Originally posted by BMJR
these long message make me nauseous, maybe i'll read when i'm not so tierd

**Rev. Pastora** · 02-20-2005 07:17 PM

You said you believe in astral projection. Were you OoB prior to this happening? I've come across accounts where people have projected and not fully returned, they feel sort of "half in". Typically they project again and work on a full return. I've always seemed to make it all the way back myself, but there have been a couple times where it took longer than normal, and I had to sort of fidget my way back in. Makes me nervous and paranoid for a while after. Maybe part of you is in a place where this stuff wouldn't be frightening. I have trouble sometimes with being halfway, part of me will still be in a place where what I witness is downright scary, and I end up retreating and being jumpy for the rest of the evening.

**Fallen.Rain** · 02-21-2005 05:49 AM

Well, the conclusion seems to be that maybe if I could Lucid then I would be able to take control when something like this happens. I know it was just a rose, but like I said, the feeling was enormous and I think if I could take control then maybe I could stop that.
To answer a few questions: No I've never OOB (to my knowledge), but I've tried. Maybe my prob. was that I tried to hard.
And the worst that could happen? I worry that something will be there, alive, running at me or god forbid touching me. If just a rose frightened me that badly I worry what my reaction would be to something worse.
What's so bad about the experience? I didn't have any control over my emotions. Sure lucid dreaming will give me control over my environment, but will it keep me from being scared half to death? Like you said, it's just a rose. It's like my mind programmed me to be terrified in this instance. *shrugs* But in the end you're right. I have to take control of it, as best I can. I've anylized it as much as I can and I just need to work on it.
Oh, sh2dak, you asked if I could see my husband. Well, no. I wasn't turned to face him. But I did know he was there and can recount events exactly as he remembers with the exception of the rose of course. I just couldn't take my eyes off the rose to look at him, fear not paralysis because I could move. I did sit up and I did edge away from the thing.
So, I'll be writing my dreams down then and trying to firgue this lucid thing out. Hopefully this will help me. And oh yeah, I have had this prob. all my life.
Thanx everyone and feel free to keep posting if you have new input![/quote]

**Aphius** · 02-21-2005 01:42 PM

Originally posted by Fallen.Rain+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Fallen.Rain)</div>

And the worst that could happen? I worry that something will be there, alive, running at me or god forbid touching me. If just a rose frightened me that badly I worry what my reaction would be to something worse.[/b]

I guess there's not much I can do for you, especially since you're worried about what might happen. Think about it logically, these dreams, although realistic are still just dreams. Here we teach you to control your dreams, so there you have the only thing you need to stop whats going on.

You can fight back, reason or anything you need to do.

<!--QuoteBegin-Fallen.Rain
What's so bad about the experience? I didn't have any control over my emotions. Sure lucid dreaming will give me control over my environment, but will it keep me from being scared half to death?

Nope. However, if you want to become a lucid dreamer you have to just do your best and try. You'll find it hard to do anything in a lucid dream if you don't believe in yourself and your abilities.

Like you believe that you coldn't stand up to this thing if you encountered it again, if you believe you can't fly or can't change the flow of time or anything, then you wont be able to.

**sh2dak** · 02-21-2005 04:53 PM

Originally posted by Fallen.Rain
Oh, sh2dak, you asked if I could see my husband. Well, no. I wasn't turned to face him. But I did know he was there and can recount events exactly as he remembers with the exception of the rose of course. I just couldn't take my eyes off the rose to look at him, fear not paralysis because I could move. I did sit up and I did edge away from the thing.
So, I'll be writing my dreams down then and trying to firgue this lucid thing out. Hopefully this will help me. And oh yeah, I have had this prob. all my life.
Thanx everyone and feel free to keep posting if you have new input!

lol, i know you could move, small missunderstanding.
I was saying that, the effects are the same with sleep paralysis. You awake while still half in a sleeping/dreaming state due to sleep paralysis and because of this you see visuals (aka hallucinations, lol) as if you were still dreaming, its near enough the same thing except the fact of not being able to move. hmm that just lead me to a question, what if waking dreams are just a person experiencing sleep paralysis without the actual paralysis? Some sorta disorder in the brain.
Probably completely wrong, but it was just a thought.

anyway, people that faced the "evil" they were experiencing in sp have said that it has never came back, some can even control the visuals while in sp, so i think you should just really try and face it, when your having a waking dream, try and tell yourself it isnt real, your in control, and face it, the truth is, it cant hurt you, and you'll always come out of it fine, except maybe a few shivers of fear, lol.

Anyway good luck with the whole thing, and keep me posted on how you do.
also, what was the age at which the waking dreams first started? i know you said all your life, but it must have started at some time.

**Oath** · 03-09-2005 12:24 AM

dear fallen rain,

i feel for you. i believe i have what you have but im not quite sure. anyways i only have them when im terriblly sick and i ususally feel things rather than see them as in the case of the rose. anyways i pretty much know that whatever im felling isnt real but the fear is just overpowering. im sorry but the only advice i can give you right now is to get to a point of fearlessness. you should not fear death, satan, monsters, etc.. you should also try to like fight and kill them in your dreams and such. this will probably be a difficult task for you though because i imagine you have children and such. anyways i hope i could be of help. i am always open for conversation and believe i will be able to help you further.

sincerely,
samael

**Fallen.Rain** · 03-09-2005 04:12 AM

Thank you to everyone for posting and offering me your help and support.
Wizard, thanx for your concern and I'd certainly be willing to hear any other thoughts you have. I used to have the ones where I just felt something in the room but it never really scared me. When I was younger I used to get this rushing feeling inside me as if there were many invisible things in the room with me and they were all moving away from me very quickly. Sometimes there was a high pitched humming there too. I've read some things on here that lead me to believe I may have been entering a WILD state. It never really scared me as a kid and more so excited me. I thought, "This is cool, I wonder what's going on." and I would lie there and focus on it and stay that way for very long periods of time sometimes. My mom taught me meditation from a very early age and that probably had something to do with it.
Still, I've also had my waking dreams and while the rose was terrifying, most of them aren't that scary. Many times I have woken to find something wrong in the room but it never frightened me as bad as the rose. Several times, I called my mom in there and pointed to what I was seeing. When she didn't see it I felt like it would be too much to try to explain it to her so I went right back to sleep without any qualms whatsoever.
I agree with everyone when they tell me that LDing will help. I think that just trying is helping me already since now when I wake up I immeadiately question myself, "Am I dreaming?"
So that's some progress.
Thanx again.