I haven't lucid dreamed in a while (thus why I haven't been here in a while, likewise), but there are certain things in my life that I cannot wrap my conscious mind around at the moment, and I figured maybe if I got directly to the core, I could figure it out, or at least have more time to think about it (so few hours in the day).

So last night, I started listening to some binaural beats, and I started getting chills, and everything started to "jump out at me" and scare the crap out of me. I figured I should just go to bed. I tossed and turned for about an hour before I fell asleep, as usual. When I woke up, everything was extremely fuzzy... all I could think was "this isn't right", and I thought "this must be a dream." However, my head literally started spinning in full revolutions (which I guess concreted that idea). after a few moments, I got it to stop, but I was scared out of my wits, so I started turning on the lamp. Nothing. I turned on the TV, nothing. I saw that my computer was running and tried to turn on the monitor. Nothing at all. I started shaking and was on the verge of crying, so I curled up under my blanket, closed my eyes, and said "I want light" demandingly. Sadly, it didn't work. So I curled up even tighter, closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, it was 3:15am. I immediately turned on my light, did every reality check I could think of, and everything was back to normal.


The last two times I have lucid dreamed (the only times, mind you), I was also struck with the same inexplicable feeling of horror. I am going to make a track to listen to. It is going to have 1.5 hours of silence (so I can get to sleep), and it will then start playing binaural beats with me dubbed over saying "Is this a dream? check your hands, how many fingers do you have? you should have 5. Plug your nose, can you still breathe through your nose?", which will then be followed by "You are in control, it is your mind, you can make light" both played forwards and played in reverse. Can anyone tell me if this will help a) my trouble starting lucid dreams and b) the dark feeling of fear I get when I do have them?