That's right Ben,
You can control a dream and still not realize you're dreaming. I've had tons of dreams where I'm into my character and I run, jump, leap and fly and go and do what I desire at will- but all I'm doing is going along with the flo of the dream and reacting as I see fit in certain scenarios of the dream. But technically, I'm not controlling the dream, just my own character.
Say a monster was chasing me in my non-lucid dream. I'm running from it and before me I see 3 buildings. I can choose whichever one I desire to go into- and then proceed. Eventhough, I used choice- this is still not a lucid dream.
As mentioned before, the classic definition of a LD, is the realization that you're actually dreaming within you dream. That realization alone, is a heck of an experience, not to mention all the possibilities that will follow.
I've been caught up in dreams before, when this realization hits, being triggered by something odd or unusual. Then whatever was happeneing just prior to that time, suddenly means nothing and just fades away due to me just ignoring it, as I now take control OF ALL the dream- as I stand their and contemplate on how I want this now LD to go. It's just so awesome and an experience much to be desired.
The bad thing is that the realization alone- being so great, can sometimes not only wake you up within your dream- but may cause you to wake up in real life too, ending your LD prematurely.
Keep practicing your techniques- and hopefully one will follow soon. Trust me, when you have one- you will have no doubt as to what it was. Good luck.
Starflames
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