I've always had this weird problem where I'll be just starting to drop off to sleep, and be slightly dreaming. Then out of nowhere something or someone looks at me, and I get this horrible dread. Then I just sort of feel like I'm being sucked somewhere, and the feeling is so vivid I feel like I'm dying. It scares me and I desperately claw at consciousness until I blast awake, gasping for air.

When I first started going to Dream Views, mostly reading and not posting, I read about WILDs and sleep paralysis. I thought "hey, this must be what's happening to me". I didn't actually do much about it at the time, since I couldn't control anything anyway. I still can't.

Over the months I've lost my fire about lucid dreaming, but every night I always think of it just a little bit, almost subconsciously. Although not active in trying to induce lucid dreams or better my dream recall, I'm always on the lookout for certain signs.

Well, a few nights ago (last Sunday) I was doing my normal routine- starting to drift to sleep, almost conscious of my random thoughts turning into events. Then I started to feel it again- that sinking, dark feeling. But then I did something I was never able to do before because I was too afraid of it: I gave in, let it control me. Within a second I was zapped back into reality, no dreaming. I saw my room around me. I could feel some sort of buzzing in my head and around my body. All those words people use to describe sleep paralysis- buzzing, vibrating, humming- all those feel like the wrong words, but I suppose they're the best I have to describe what I felt.

I kept thinking "ok, don't get excited. hmmm, I'm supposed to be turning my day's thoughts into imagery and dreams. okay, what did I do in lunch today?" (It was a Sunday, though- I didn't go to lunch.)

Anyway, after a few seconds of that weird vibration going through my body, I remembered there would be a second wave from various things I'd read here months ago. I waited and sure enough, there was a second wave of buzzing. I tried to calm myself and not be afraid, but at the same time not be too excited. I could see some green orbs and things, and remembered the hypnogogic imagery. It all seemed to be working so well, but I didn't know where to go from there.

After a while (maybe 10-20 seconds) I couldn't stand it and had to move. I felt like there was a lot of saliva in my mouth, like my tongue was big and I needed to swallow. I also felt like my teeth might have been grinding or clenched. To top it off, I could have sworn I didn't have my blanket on because my right side (I was sleeping on my left) felt cold as ice. I was very surprised to find it wasn't, so I think a lot of the other uncomfortable feelings were just hallucinations too. Oh well, better luck next time.

Clearly, for a beginner who's had his last vivid lucid dream at about eight years old, this is an exciting development. I'm going to read up on WILDs and see if I can't induce one on purpose, perhaps after 5-6 hours of sleep. I'll post back with my results.