Okay, I'll admit that I have been a CRONIC smoker of mj on and off for 8 years. Mostly on. Never more than an oz a week. Dr told me that pot does cause brain damage. Started smokin at 16 because of depression and Stupidity? Every time I stopped those vivid dreams came back. Two months ago smoked this really strong indica from NY, Shitwreck. (May have been poisoned? May have been poisoned years ago?) Gave me the noids so bad I decided to stop. I don't want to smoke anymore. I also lost a loved one that put me in such a bad mental state that I did not leave my room for 4 days, got a headache from an old injury (that is also a story I want to share). Also could not sleep for more than three hours at a time, and I mean exactly three hours. Two weeks went by maybe and I had my first seizure, partial complex on my left. Went to the hospital and was put on an anti seizure medication that made my anxiety skyrocket for a week. We're talking a level so severe I think it almost killed me. Had several vivid dreams. The first was vivid/fluid where I followed a coyote through the desert. He gave me disappointed/angry looks every time I got distracted. Did not talk to me at all. Next day gave my father a spin kick to his abdomen sent him through the front door, we were arguing about the price of a spoof (spoof is a toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets to mask the smell of smoke). I think it was a subliminal sparked from lack of discipline. Same night had my first out of body experience, heard my father's voice. Several other dreams. I dream every night, some times 5 or 6 different or reoccurring dreams. I have been waking up in pools of sweat. Went to Wal-Mart to buy a cd to help me relax almost had a panic attack, was able to control it. I am starting to fear I damaged my life forever. Not afraid of death anymore... everyday is a blessing... sigh... the things I have done to myself...
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