Thread: "you Damn Kids! Respect Your Elders!"

Originally Posted by Conforming

Respect is earned and not given.
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I disagree with this. I give respect to every one the moment I meet them. It's only after spending time and getting to know them that my respect for them increases or decreases.

Please drop back by in 20 years. I't will be interesting to hear how your worldview has changed.

When I was in my teens and early 20's I felt much the same way. Silly old people, they don't have a clue what is going on, why should I respect them?

Now that I'm in my 40's, I now see that most of them deserve respect. I respect our neighbor who is now in his 80's. He survived the great depression, he fought against tyranny in WWII, he has done nothing but shown charity to all around him all his life. I think he deserves some respect.

Respect is not the same as tolerance. I would say that upon meeting someone that i tolerate them and remain open-minded before reaching a judgement about their character. If deserving, then i would attribute respect.

By me saying "deserving", i am not being some sort of snob or elitist, that someone must measure up to my strict standards before i approve them. I am simply using the most fitting english word for this example.

Originally Posted by Conforming

Ignorance is rampant in today's society
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How ironic. You're making the assumption that all of the baby boomers are greedy, materialistic, and deceitful.

And what's wrong with being materialistic? It's just a different perspective of value.

I don't respect anybody, regardless of age

Unless, of course, I need to kiss ass to get somewhere

Originally Posted by Seeker

Please drop back by in 20 years. I't will be interesting to hear how your worldview has changed.

When I was in my teens and early 20's I felt much the same way. Silly old people, they don't have a clue what is going on, why should I respect them?

Now that I'm in my 40's, I now see that most of them deserve respect. I respect our neighbor who is now in his 80's. He survived the great depression, he fought against tyranny in WWII, he has done nothing but shown charity to all around him all his life. I think he deserves some respect.
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In this case, Seeker, This person has done some great things for himself and others and deserves your respect. I have in no way stated that i believe that all elderly people are silly (as im assuming you are insinuating) and have not come to this point in my life to fall into becoming an Ageist by any means. I am simply against the saying of "respect your elders" and the imposing belief it creates in the minds of the youth of today who may not question what they are being taught.
I also realize the lasting effect that my own words will impose upon my life in the future years and only fuels me to become more active in my life and the lives of others in a most positive way.

Originally Posted by Seeker

How ironic. You're making the assumption that all of the baby boomers are greedy, materialistic, and deceitful.

And what's wrong with being materialistic? It's just a different perspective of value.
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I have not made any such assumptions/

Originally Posted by Conforming

These are still the same people who decided to devote their lives to living a lie, living for money, living for the economy, living to take and not give back, living to leech off of others to step themselves up another notch. Perhaps they have lived and learned and matured or perhaps they have lived, realized their mistakes yet continue on living in the lie, comforted by money and worldly possessions.

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I always seem to run into this problem with people dissecting my writing into individual statements without looking at the whole picture.

I have stated that "these are the same people...." (some and not all, it would be a much different world if EVERYONE was like this, its common sense) but have also said that i have selected peers that i do respect when i have had the time to understand and talk with. This would go the same for those selected elderly people who i believe have done something that deserves respect and not just an instant respect. I do not condone an generalized view of a group or nation of people without exception.


"i have respect for my selected peers who deserve to be respected because of the quality of life that they live and give back to others. Because of the positive changes that they make in my life and the noticible changes they make in the lives of others. I do not respect someone who i just met or have not got the time to communicate with and understand. This includes the elderly. Respect is earned and not given. "

hopefully this clears thing up

Im 15 and I have great respect for all people older then me, and younger. And I realize that my parents and other adults have a lot to say and influence me because they have likely been through what I have and more. They know more, cuzz they've had more experience in life.

But you know, a lot of adults hate kids, especially teenagers. Just because what they have heard about us. We are dissrespective and vandalists, not true. I wish adults were not so narrow minded. About 70% percent of the adults I meet are assholes, whenever I meet one they just asume the worst about me, and when I had long hair, they all hated me, just because of what I looked like.

Sometimes in school when im talking to a teacher like other teachers would talk to eachother. They say im talking back to them, and I get sent to the office and get a detention. Teachers and other adults think that just because im young I cant talk to them in an intelligent way, because if do of course im just talking back.

I think the saying should go " You damn adults respect your teens" or anything like that.

Question: If you are over the age of 30, you've been basically on your own right. I mean you dont take orders from anyone, you run your own life, its your show right? How would you cope with being back in grage school. Lets say grade 10. You would probably go insane from techers telling you what to do.

heh heh heh,

yeh i wouldn't be too adverse to that one. It seems to me that youth would have less respect for their elders compared to older adults having less for teens and the youth (since adults have already been there).

It just goes to show that a group cannot be neatly packaged together without those who stand out and against the typical flow. I believe that if more peole could be open to communication as opposed to confrontation and age/ego battles, then we would have so much more communal knowledge to share and continue to nurture into the future.

I'm the same with you, I don't respect someone until I know them.

It's like innocent before proven guilty, or guilty before proven innocent.

Originally Posted by Conforming

It just goes to show that a group cannot be neatly packaged together without those who stand out and against the typical flow. I believe that if more peole could be open to communication as opposed to confrontation and age/ego battles, then we would have so much more communal knowledge to share and continue to nurture into the future.
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Well said

...Teenagers

I try to respect my elders, but I get alot of hate from old people because I have long hair. They all think Im a hippie...why is this?!

Up until last week i had the same problem with comments about long hair and the assumptions that elderly people tend to make about it. For them, i believe it represents a period of time when free speech free love and free drug use were major social norms. Perhaps they have grown our of their ideals and are now as much of a cog in the mechanics of the economic structure of the world as those who they fought so hard against in their era.
Maybe it reminds them of a time when they felt free and had the world before them and now they see all they did not accomplish. People who were already in their forties in the 1970's may have disapproved of long hairs because of what it represented and still hold that stigma today..?

Yea, I too think that might be why. It makes it very hard to get a job, even one in a non-food related area. But long hair isnt a problem if your not working with food...Old People...gah!

Kakashi had long-ish hair... maybe you can train ninjas!

Okay, no.

But I find this interesting. I've heard a lot of people say, "I won't respect someone unless they earn it." But how do you gain respect? By giving it. I do my best to treat others kindly and fairly, but if someone isn't willing to reciprocate the same courtesy, I don't want to spend time with them. They start off with my respect; it is their choice to keep it or lose it.

It probably makes a big difference how you've grown up as well. (And that's the all-inclusive "you," not just one person.) In my family, it was very important to respect others, especially my parents. My parents were/are worth respecting, and through the example they gave to me I am more open to showing respect to those people I come across.

And what kind of hair do you have, Aenema? Is it thick/thin? I'm just curious.

If people judge you by how long you hair is/your appearence, they probably aren't worth your time/respect anyways. But I almost wonder if thier judging you is all in your head? Do they actually say, "Hey you long haired rascal, who do you think you are?" (or something of the like?)

I'm sure this doesn't apply to you but,
If you're caked in goofy make-up, I can see why it would cause an older generation to do a double-take, because it's probably not something they're used to (I can't honestly say i'm down with the "emo", "goth" and "punk" looks, but i'm more open-minded about it than I was a couple years ago.) But some people are not open-minded, they were taught that "this is how things are and this is how they always should be." I think it's just going to take people some time to get used to--it's all a part of change.

I almost feel like dressing/acting like this is a sign of disrespect towards elders, because it totally goes against what they were taught, and how they taught their kids to act. (that's we dress like that it isn't it? "no rules dude, we have to go against the grind.") I'm not saying it's a bad thing; people should be able to look how they want to without being judged by others. But it might be useful to look at it from other people's perspective. If an older person sees some demon-child walking down the street, what do you expect them to think?
And again, i'm not saying this applies to you in particular because I obviously don't know you. But it's just something to think about.

Originally Posted by Lucky27

If people judge you by how long you hair is/your appearence, they probably aren't worth your time/respect anyways. But I almost wonder if thier judging you is all in your head? Do they actually say, "Hey you long haired rascal, who do you think you are?" (or something of the like?)

I'm sure this doesn't apply to you but,
If you're caked in goofy make-up, I can see why it would cause an older generation to do a double-take, because it's probably not something they're used to (I can't honestly say i'm down with the "emo", "goth" and "punk" looks, but i'm more open-minded about it than I was a couple years ago.) But some people are not open-minded, they were taught that "this is how things are and this is how they always should be." I think it's just going to take people some time to get used to--it's all a part of change.

I almost feel like dressing/acting like this is a sign of disrespect towards elders, because it totally goes against what they were taught, and how they taught their kids to act. (that's we dress like that it isn't it? "no rules dude, we have to go against the grind.") I'm not saying it's a bad thing; people should be able to look how they want to without being judged by others. But it might be useful to look at it from other people's perspective. If an older person sees some demon-child walking down the street, what do you expect them to think?
And again, i'm not saying this applies to you in particular because I obviously don't know you. But it's just something to think about.
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Yeah your totally right. Why the hell would I want to spend my time with people who only judge me on my appearence. Store managers and store owners who are looking to hire people care A LOT it seems. Sure its discrimination but what can I do about it. When you go to look for a job and you have long hair you wont find one. Thats the reason why I cut my hair.

If people wont adapt for you, you have to adapt to them.

On the topic of respect is earned not given I comepltely agree with you

I have ahd numerous problems at college for the alck of respect I have shown for many members of authority.
This is because their ties do not command my respect, I respect the true character of a person.

on the topic of elders

I think respect here is interchangable with care
elder people require sometimes more care, as they can be frail
for instance, in my house, if an elder walks into the room and there are no chairs free, I automatically stand up and sit down on the floor.
I was taught from a young age, this was "respectful"
but tis less about respect and more about caring for them.

=)
Imran

There are a lot of old people that act like assholes

I guess they're making up for all the shit they've had to put up with throughout their life

Originally Posted by NeAvO

I disagree with this. I give respect to every one the moment I meet them. It's only after spending time and getting to know them that my respect for them increases or decreases.[/b]

Well said - it's the same for me. I think that's the difference between an adult mentality and a teenage mentality.

I'm not fond of automatically granting respect to someone simply based on their older age. There are many factors that I don't know about someone, they may have committed atrocities that I don't know about. Of course, they may also be a wonderful person.

My point is, the standard "respect your elders" command seems to imply that respect should be given to the elderly regardless of what they have done. It seems to me that the spirit of this statement is that older people deserve respect simply because they are old. I would much rather determine whether a person deserves my respect based on what they have done, independent of unrelated facts such as age.

I'm a teenager (just to give a little background), and I my first reaction to meeting someone new is to treat them with respect. I find it much easier to treat someone respectfully at first, then lower my treatment of them based on what I observe of them, rather than starting off disrespectful and moving up.

Basically, I think that elders should be treated with respect just because they're human, just like everyone else in the world. However, if they lose my respect, I shouldn't be forced to respect them just because they're old (which is the message I'm getting from the "respect your elders").

Originally Posted by Amethyst

And what kind of hair do you have, Aenema? Is it thick/thin? I'm just curious.
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I keep it rather thin, its usually straight. No old women seem to have a problem with my hair, they all like it; but the men, yeesh.