• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. #1
      Member Everlong's Avatar
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      Well, we're talking again, but..

      Ok, so recently I made a post in the Help! section of DV about me losing an important female friend. The post went something like this:

      It is always hard when I lose a friend, it has happened once or twice in my life, and I have been able to deal with it and get these friends back. But right now I don't know what to do. At least two years ago now, I made a female friend. Not girlfriend, just friend. She was really caring and friendly, I could always make a deep and meaningful conversation with her. She would always give me a hug whenever I needed it. Around last year, I have no idea why, but I started to develop a thing for her. But it was really awkward, and she didn't really like me back, mainly because we had been friends for so long. But here is where I had made the mistake. I got really frustrated, and I haven't talked to her since. There was the occasional word or two, except they weren't even remotely friendly. They were just things like 'Excuse me, can I get through?', no more meaningful conversations. Now I'm afraid that I have ruined our relationship, and I just don't know how to approach her. I really like her (as a friend), but I just don't know what to do. I hope you guys can help me.

      Now, it has been a couple of months now since I made that post, so I took the advice given to me and put it into practice. Within the last few weeks of last term, we began to talk to each other again. Wasn't much to start with, just mainly short conversations. But on the last day of term, as I was walking home from school, she was as well. So I started to talk to her, and we started a nice conversation which lasted until we parted ways. I'm really happy for this, and in the few days of the start of this term, I have begun to really get along with her again, helping her out when she needed it, basically trying to be the good mate I was to her last year. Thanks to all on DV that helped me out.

      But now I have a feeling that she thinks I still want to go out with her, and today, she was kind of avoiding conversations. But I do not want it that way at all. How should I tell her that I don't have those feelings for her anymore? I don't think blatantly saying 'I don't like you' would work, because she might get offended. Note that I have no strong feelings for her, she is just a really good mate.
      Question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
      Answer: Neither, single-celled organisms did.

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    2. #2
      BICYCLE RIGHTS Catbus's Avatar
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      That's really cool that you guys are talking again. I guess the main thing would be just to not rush into things (not saying that you have), and if she seems uncomfortable, maybe ask her why, but only if the situations seems fit for it, so it doesn't seem awkward or out of place.

    3. #3
      Veteran of the DV Wars Man of Steel's Avatar
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      'Notice' how hot some random passing woman is, maybe ask her if she knows anybody that might hit it off with you. Make it obvious that you're not considering her in the same way. Basically, let her know that you're now looking elsewhere, and so not harboring feelings for her any longer.

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