First Terrifying LD Experience

[Conforming Non-Conformist]

Just to get this out of thought and into another realm.... Recently I had an LD after quite some time - probably over 6 months. At first I noticed I was dreaming with the nose plug as usual. The dream sequence was very dark, cubic, structured and repeating. I spent no moments trying to re-configure the environment as I was caught up in exploring the realm. Flying through most of it I began to have a feeling of what I can best describe as hopelessness and the sudden urge to awake - i could not. I asked a few DC's how I could wake up, that I wish to leave now and why i cannot wake up. I received nothing constructive or blank stares. The thing that got me the most was the feeling of duration extending far beyond what I am accustomed to in an LD. I have had LD's that went on for what seems like a good 20 minutes to half an hour. Those LD's were very intriguing or constructive and never involved fear, terror or even malice. This one in particular felt like it extended for hours upon hours to the point that I began to believe that I was in some sort of hell state. (not a religious construct of hell but one in which i was void of a liner understanding or ability to perceive that thing we call/use as 'time') Numerous ties i tried waking up but kept falling back into the same environment , each time triggering the deepening feeling of despair one nose plug after another. I tried jumping from great heights, closing my eyes and concentrating on leaving, and trying to distract myself as much as possible to leave the LD state - nothing could wake me. The feeling of being in this hell state was overwhelming to the point that I believed i had died while sleeping and this was some sort of transistional period in which i was helpless to change or progress as an entity - just doin' my time so to speak. Eventually i came upon my reflection in a window and focused on my eyes which fluttered between ones i recognized to ones that were more alien in shape and then back to my own. I decided the best way to finally find out if i was stuck in that state for good was to inflict even more fear upon myself than i was already in (yeah! real progressive hm? - out of all things i strive for in my waking life, the elimination of fear is one that is a huge focus and here i am pressing it upon my dream self!) I took my left hand and raised it toward my left eye, extending my finger into the bottom of my eyesocket (no sensation of pain - but pressure) and dislodged it from its place, leaving it dangling on the side of my face as i stared in amazement over the fact that i was still there in that place in this state...Seconds later i awoke in bed - Test - nope, really awake this time - not dreaming! The feeling of being saturated by the essence of this reality that i have come to brush off during most waking moments was immense! It was as though i had re-connected myself to every object surrounding me- including my biological vessel. This re-connection was at first a relief but then became a focal point of my apprehension to feel so influenced by the organic world i live within and am psychologically dependent upon. I did not want to be soo attached, it felt like i was giving into an illusion that would one day (death perhaps) fade away but would leave me much like a junkie fiending for a next hit, but leaving me unable to ever return to that realm i would have known for a lifetime of experience. If you have read this far - thanks for letting me sound this off and out of my head. Truly it was a strange event for me and my LD journey. I believe if it happens again i will be much better prepared but now seek to constantly be aware of just how both places can be their own forms of illusion and attachment. Goodnight , good morning, or evening wherever you are!

[acillis]

it surely is a strange experience, when the lucid state continues for a longer then expected time, i feel you

[bihon]

I think this is quite horrifying and I could really imagine your relief of escaping that world. Thanks for sharing! I've been pondering this idea for quite a few weeks now.