I posted in a thread about this a month or two ago but I figured I'd make a new thread about this as my life has only gotten stranger...

On the night before Christmas Eve I asked for a Lucid Dream with "You" (having just fallen in love with a girl). I have no idea why I said those words as I never even read about lucid dreaming except for once maybe four or five years ago. Anyway, the next day I had a lot of strange energy feelings happen, felt shaky and wasn't sure why... A family friend came over and did energy work on my body, I felt energy leave my body. I remember my father mentioning that this was "like a movie" when I mentioned falling in love. Anyway, nothing ended up happening with the girl and I just went on with my life (which at the time I took as being normal).

A few weeks later I returned to UC Santa Cruz for the Winter quarter and went to class... The first week of classes went fine but the next week is a blur. I couldn't get myself out of my dorm room, smoked a lot of weed and found myself doing what seemed like Yoga (having never even thought about it before) and feeling energy in my body and experiencing memories. I was able to visualize things happen and now. One of the strangest experiences I had happen was finding myself pulling myself outside of my body while somehow communicating with the girl I was rejected by... I know this sounds crazy and I think I'm crazy for believing it but it's the only way I can put it into words. It was like we were both pulling ourselves out of our bodies or something... I physically felt my body suffering in pain while feeling what I guess would be my soul leaving my body.

The Monday after the second week of classes I called my parents and told them I needed to come home. I went to a friend's apartment first and we went out to this meadow next to the dorms I lived in (on leave at the moment) and smoked some weed and I meditated. Saw a cat creature with wings and a cat-like person riding it surrounded by bright yellowish white light like the sun flying around my vision. After this I had a sort of Heads-Up Display view with my eyes closed where I was conversing with "You" (reluctant now to even admit I might still have some connection with her even though while I'm typing this I'm having a mental conversation and we're actually talking about what to type. Things were left off on a not so great note physically.) The thing that really set off this horror I've experienced over the past few months is that while I was meditating I was contacted by some sort of entity that identified as a circle of rocks near the place I was meditating. They wanted to make "friends" and I stupidly agreed. I stopped meditating when my parents called my cell phone to tell me they had arrived.

The car ride home (three hours) was bizarre to say the least... During it I touched my younger sister's hand and she suddenly told me she knew what she was supposed to do with her life. I also mentioned to my mother that I believed this might be a lucid dream and she said something along the lines that made it seem like she agreed. My mom also told me later that during this car ride it appeared like I had a seizure and that it seemed like an entity was possessing me (this will come up later). When I got home I went to bed.

It was a few weeks later that I started reading about lucid dreaming (and found this site). I had a dream then where I was in the car with some guy and I realized I was in a dream, took control, and drove all over a strawberry field... At some point I found myself drawn to the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose and found that many of the things that happen in the movie, while exaggerated to a large degree, had happened to me. My mother gave me a massage and I sort of let whatever it was (and to a large extent is still with me) communicate with her. Still identified as the circle of rocks. If this is confusing I can understand but it seems as though my body has become host to a variety of consciousnesses and due to being someone who always valued the mind over the body having my mind pretty much invaded has driven me into some pretty bad depression.

Anyway, to get to the point of why I'm really making this thread recently the amount of dreams I get have increased quite a bit and my dream recall has been insane, I don't even have to write them down and I can remember them better than the things I do throughout the day. I guess a way to put it would be that my life serves as nothing other than a launching ground for dreams now... Over the past week or so I've had multiple LDs a night many lasting a long time and they all seem more like my life prior to Christmas Eve than where I am now, except that I find myself spending more time here than in the dreams. A night or two ago I found myself in bed in another room of my house with a female friend naked. I've had psychic connection (I never believed in this stuff and I really don't know if I still do since I haven't talked to any of them about this anyway) with some of them and the message I keep getting is that they're all trying to save me from whatever is possessing me (if that's even the right word? I'm reluctant t believe any of this is actually happening since I can still function in day to day life doing chore for my parents and keeping a good enough demeanor). Two nights ago i found myself on another date with the girl I originally asked for a dream with... It went well and I had a good time on it (went to a theme park). Another dream I've had over the past few days is one where I was at a friend's house and we put on the TV and found that we were being filmed like in the truman show.

Last night I had a dream where I found myself on the other side of whatever I'm experiencing... I was in a dorm room at UC Santa Cruz with someone who was like a monk and we were doing some sort of ritual or something with a stone that was talking to us (related to the rocks I was talking about before). It was warm like it was alive too and randomly at some point it had eyes and a smiling mouth. I found myself hugging it. and we started throwing pink stone hearts out the window. We went out to the balcony and we both flew. I went too high though and got scared so I started yelling STOP STOP and fell. I hit the ground lightly though around some people who asked what planet I was from, said earth and that I was human just like them. Started running and flew away... The dream ended.

Then this morning I had another few strange experiences where I found myself floating out of my bed with my covers still on me. I grabbed onto a ledge above my bed and fell back into my bed without feeling like I woke up. Another thing that happened this morning was it was like I teleported to my friend's house where I had a conversation with his dad and then lay on his couch, held a pillow, closed my eyes, and found myself back in bed at my home. Every day I find myself drawn further and further out of my life and periodically find the words "WAKE UP" displayed in my mind and see my room the way it was on the night before Christmas Eve without even trying to do so, it just sort of happens. I guess I'll close this up by saying that the reason my dreams seem more real than my life is that when I'm in them I feel like a normal human and in my day to day life I feel the presence of other beings, as if there is like a group of people inside my head watching my life through my eyes... It's disconcerting. Oh yeah, and another thing that happened was I had an experience that I can't tell whether it was a dream or not where a girl visited me at night and touched my foot, told me she was the girl in the closet... She wants me to switch places or something with me. I know how insane I sound and readily admit that I'm not of sound mental health (except crazy people don't admit they're crazy and I can still function? Who knows, It's not really making me an irrational person other than my personal life. I still have friends and go outside and such...) but hey, it's in God's hands.

::Shrugs:: I hope no one else ever has to experience something like this, my life feels like it is fading but my dreams keep getting longer and more real and concrete.

e: Oh yeah, another strange thing is that I often find the feeling of sand in my ears falling into my mouth... It's odd. I feel like my body sort of bobs like a buoy a lot of the time too... Kind of like I'm underwater. A part of me that identifies as my subconscious keeps telling me to 'let go' as well and I'm afraid of what I'll do if I do that.

e2: One last thing, my therapist mentioned during a session once that at some point in her life she remembers finding herself falling off a cliff (suicide attempt) and awakening three days later in her car perfectly fine. I can't help but feel like I'm where she was during those three days.