Llabyellov
Lurker

Hello! I am a 32 year old woman who has spent her whole life at this point in one town. I wanted to go away for college but never did. I applied for the peace corps and was accepted after college but didn't go. I never did either of those things because my parents were very against both of them. I'm an only child and I think the thought of me leaving town is just too much for my folks and grandma to handle.
So, I played the good little girl for the last ten years after graduating from college. Finally, for the last five years, I've been employed at a university with what people tell me is a "good" job. I transferred departments once to a similar position on a different campus within the last five years.
I also did the tradition thing(slash thing I thought I was supposed to do) by buying a house and trying to date. For a while, I was dating a very nice man. He had a good job, he treated me very well, we had some shared interests, etc. He was all perfect on paper but I didn't feel in love with him. So I broke that off and got a raft of shit from my family. I also am trying to now get rid of my house which my family also hates the idea of even though the neighborhood there has become unbearable.
I sold most of my worldly belongings back in August when I found tenants for my house. I started renting a room in the suburbs. All of this in preparation for a cross-country move. I also started applying for jobs in the area where I want to live in October but still haven't been offered a job.
On Friday, I told my boss about my plans. I told him I was intending to quit and move in three weeks. I guess he didn't believe me or he wasn't really listening or something because he suggested I go home this weekend and develop a plan.
I am so scared to take this next step and leave my world of financial security. I think my dream last night relates but I am having a bit of trouble understanding how to interpret it.
I went to sleep last night asking that my dream help me to depict that it would be like for me to be living a life in accordance with my higher self's purpose. I am trying for my dreams to help me with my big decision of whether or not to move.
So, my dream: in my dream, I was vividly the hostage in a house in the middle of nowhere. I got there because I was attending a gathering of some sort. There were a lot of people when I arrived. But then people started thinning out. Then there was a police presence because some guy (later it was apparent that he lived there) had a gun. The police didn't seem to be doing much other than watching. I assumed by the police reaction that it was safe to go get in my car which was close to where the tyrant was so that I could go home. So, I did. But then the cops disappeared and I was being bullied by the tyrant. I locked myself in my car at first and tried driving off but he did something to the car before I got there rendering it not useable. He finally got in the car, holding me at gunpoint, and threatened sexual things.
I'm not sure exactly what else happened. But fast forward to a few hours later when my things were all in his house. Someone else was there so I asked him for help when he tyrant was outside. But that person was also under the control of the tyrant.
I was planning on grabbing whatever I could of my belongings and driving away (I guess my car was fixed). Just as I was about to leave, the tyrant came back and was acting mysteriously nice. He said, go ahead and go. And then he walked off. Another woman appeared who seemed to be on the tyrant's side as well, trying to convince me that I was never go I to get away. I woke up before I got away.
Do you think this means I'm supposed to be suffering like this? I was thinking that it might mean that if I stay here, in a place, job, and other situation that I loathe, I'm being held here hostage of my fears. Anyone else have ideas? I can't imagine that my higher self's purpose is to be ravaged by fear.