We lost our beloved dog just before Christmas 2012. Since my husband often worked in the evenings, many nights it was just the dog and me. He was always by my side and when we lost him to heart failure after nursing him for months, I was devastated. Only in the last few months have I stopped tearing up. when i think about his loss.
For the past year I've had a recurring dream that he's alive. Well, only half alive: he appears living to everyone else but I know he's dead. He looks the same (although last night's dream he had a small, light greenish discoloration on his left haunch) but there's hardly any light in his eye, as if he's just existing, and I'm afraid of SOMETHING if anyone finds out, but I'm not sure what it is. That he'll die again? That people will think I'm terrible, or crazy?

When I was still actively grieving I attributed the dream to missing him and not wanting to let him go. Yet I'm still having it now that I'm at peace and I wonder if the dream is trying to tell me something else.

Any thoughts will be appreciated.