Thread: Recurring person dream

My experience tells me that most dreams have some sort of psychological meaning, at least recurring dreams. This seems like no exception.

Originally Posted by LAscandals

I have been having dreams of a recurring nature for several years now, more frequently in recent months. My dream is of a man who I had a crush on when we were kids from many years ago. The setting of the dreams is not always the same but the relationship of this dream is of me trying to express my affection to this person. I was wondering what type of dream this might be, symbolic, psychological or premonition. I am a 43 year old divorced woman in a 3 year relationship with another man. Thank you.

Whatever feelings which were evoked all those years ago in relation to this man are still very real for you. Not so much in waking life, but in your dreams.

I don't believe in premonition and I don't think that these dreams mean he's your ideal partner and/or the two of you will get together. But you have the capacity to feel that same affection in real life, if only you knew how to access it. Basically it's all in your unconscious.

Thank you Line and Burned Up for responding. When I was that little girl a long time ago, whenever I saw this boy I would get all nervous and I was too shy and self conscience of myself. I don't even think about this person during my waking life, except for when I have the dreams with him in them. He's often alloof in regards to my presence in these dreams except for last night when he was actually smiling and talking with me, after I had approached him. What I felt from him was that he was self conscience of talking to me. Just the recurring nature of this person showing up in my dreams sorta weirds me out. I wouldn't even know where to start to figure out the psychology behind these dreams. But I thank you again for your input.

Originally Posted by LAscandals

Thank you Line and Burned Up for responding. When I was that little girl a long time ago, whenever I saw this boy I would get all nervous and I was too shy and self conscience of myself. I don't even think about this person during my waking life, except for when I have the dreams with him in them. He's often alloof in regards to my presence in these dreams except for last night when he was actually smiling and talking with me, after I had approached him. What I felt from him was that he was self conscience of talking to me. Just the recurring nature of this person showing up in my dreams sorta weirds me out. I wouldn't even know where to start to figure out the psychology behind these dreams. But I thank you again for your input.

Interesting. It sounds like you find it hard to loosen up and be less self-conscious IRL, in the way he did in the dream. But if you could break that barrier you would be smiling and talking and generally having a nice time.

Well, if you are serious about the three year relationship with this other man, "loosening up" with this other guy, even in your dreams should NOT be a goal.

Besides, you don't even know how accurate your brain's rendering is of his appearance, much less his personality. I feel confident saying that this dream has really nothing to do with the guy you are having it about, but rather about yourself. Examine your own self-assuredness, your attitudes about your life as you see it now, and try to think, not so much about this guy your dreaming of, but of the mental sensations you associate him with, and with that time in your life. (When you were a little girl.)

You should ask yourself if some aspect of the shyness, and what-have-you, that you're experiencing might be affecting your current relationship, or perhaps your life in some other way, such as career or family.

We in this forum get hung up on dreams for their own sake, but don't make that mistake, here. This is about your real life, and starting what could be a dream-affair is not where you want to take this.

Originally Posted by RCLefty

We in this forum get hung up on dreams for their own sake, but don't make that mistake, here. This is about your real life, and starting what could be a dream-affair is not where you want to take this.

Good advice. Dream lovers are not real people. They're a part of us that, if we're not careful, we'll project onto other people and these other people will never live up to our expectations.

Basically, enjoy dreams of lovers and keep them there.

I'm happy that this topic is here. I, too, am having dreams about someone. The main thing that's different, though, is that the person I'm dreaming about doesn't exist that I know of. In every dream with this man, what I feel most is security and heart-swelling joy. When I awake, I feel a sense of loss. I've even said to him that I wished he was real. What can it mean?

Originally Posted by Chance Wayne

I'm happy that this topic is here. I, too, am having dreams about someone. The main thing that's different, though, is that the person I'm dreaming about doesn't exist that I know of. In every dream with this man, what I feel most is security and heart-swelling joy. When I awake, I feel a sense of loss. I've even said to him that I wished he was real. What can it mean?

Seems to me that he represents something that you are missing/longing for in your life.

Originally Posted by Chance Wayne

I'm happy that this topic is here. I, too, am having dreams about someone. The main thing that's different, though, is that the person I'm dreaming about doesn't exist that I know of. In every dream with this man, what I feel most is security and heart-swelling joy. When I awake, I feel a sense of loss. I've even said to him that I wished he was real. What can it mean?

I believe Line is right. And I know the feeling as I have a (female) stranger who visits me in my dreams from time to time.

But if you want to delve deeper, may I suggest you look at Jung's Anima/Animus constructs? Lots of info on the web (just google Jung Animus). Basically it's our opposite-sex inner-self and is formed from our earliest experiences. We look for that person in people we meet in real life and rarely find it. Nobody can ever be our "dream lover". Our challenge is to integrate that dream person (anima or animus) into our selves and know that we and they are one. In other words, to know that their qualities (e.g. security in your case) are ours too. Their representation in our dreams inform us what condition they are in. Sounds like yours is doing OK.

You don't say if you're male or female. Perhaps it isn't important although the gender politics of Jung's generation rather assumes it does.