Thread: Recurring dream from past event at school

Hi Horse I saw your post and sorry for late response. Thats a tough question to answer, as to whether it is lucid because you have had the same dream more than once or because it is based on a real past event. Can you be more specific about the fight when you were in school, maybe that might help. For example was this fight in school one of those events that happen in everyones life that YOU have marked as not easily forgettable ? One of life's defining moments! But you are right, it is better to talk / write about it and it might go away. Otherwise you will get no peace and it will be like the saying "Theres no use beating a dead horse" You have a cool nickname, anyway, take care and stay out of trouble Carmel

Hello Carmel

Thanks for responding to my message. I had not got a response in 4 months, and I also have not had this dream lately, so I had forgotten about the message that I posted. But that does not mean it won’t come back. In any event you took time to ask me some questions, so I will answer them of course. You asked “For example was this fight in school one of those events that happen in everyones life that YOU have marked as not easily forgettable ? One of life's defining moments!” It definitely was not a defining moment, I would say it is more not easily forgettable! You asked for details about that day in school. Well even though it was about 29 years ago, I remember it well, so I will give you details. I will start at the very beginning. It was an all boys school in a small town, and the trouble started on a Thursday. School was over and all the kids would jam into the cloak room to get there coats. You had about 150 kids pushing down the hall and into one room. I was about 12 or 13 at the time. The other person (Joe) was in a class lower than me, so I would say he was about 11 or 12. Anyway Joe was behind the door in the cloak room getting his jacket, when all the kids pushed in on the cloak room door. Yes, I was one of the kids in the crowd, but I was not specifically pushing the door or anything like that. I was just one of the kids in the crowd. Anyway Joe and one other kid got pushed and squeezed hard between the back of the cloak room door and the wall. We all got our jackets and went home. The next day Friday, Joe was going around angry because of what had happened to him the day before. For some reason, he got it into his head that I was the cause of it all, and that I was pushing hard on the door. He confronted me about it and I told him that I had nothing to do with it, and I really hadn’t. I told him it was just crowd pushing. But he still was not happy. He was always getting into trouble and fights in school, whereas I was more into going up the town at lunch time and not getting caught by the teachers. Beside the school playground, there was a field with three over grown gardens with big wild hedges where I and others used to take a short cut to get up the town and also to go home after school. Anyway back in the school yard, nothing would please him and he wanted to have a fight there and then. But the bell rang (saved by the bell……..) and the lunch break was over so we all went back into school. When school finally ended, I was heading home taking the shortcut, through the field. After I had crossed from the first garden into the second garden I heard my name, (not horse….) and I knew it was him. I told him that I did not want to fight with him, but he was having none of it. He never used the word wrestling, instead he would say rassling. So he asked me Rassling or Boxing? I knew there was no way out, so I said rassling. We threw the school bags and jackets to one side and in seconds we were down to our T-shirts and the fight was on. We circled this way and that way, and finally met up. To my surprise he was not soo strong and I was easily able to throw him to one side and get on top of him. After a few seconds of him wailing around, I would let him up. We would meet up again and grapple, but I was in total control. I would get him down on the grass, and then get on top of him and hold him down. I should have counted to 10 but I was not used to fighting so I did not know this. Then I would let him up. Because I was a bit bigger I was able to handle him easier than I thought at first. This went on for a while and I was easily winning and I was kind of enjoying it. Also he was getting madder. He would attack again and this time we both were in like a headlock and I was trying to trip him forward, as I had my leg in front of him. But he resisted and suddenly instead pulled me back fast and I fell. In a flash he got on top of me for the very first time!! He said he was going to let me up, because I had let him up in the past. So he did let me up. But he said he would not do this again. Then we would meet up again and I got him down and I was on top of him. Again I should have counted to 10 but I never really thought of it. I was confident and I found it in a strange way enjoyable, but at the start I was dreading it. Anyway I got off him and I let him up. He then offered me his right hand and I gave him my right hand. He tried to swing me around like in a wild dance, and he did a little, but because I was bigger, I stopped and instead swung him around fast. After one full rotation I let him go and he went flying backways straight into the hedge. The hedge was way over grown and wild and in the middle of the hedge was like a cave where other kids used to play. He fell into the hedge and was kind of sitting down into the hedge. He could not get himself up and out of it, because when he put his hands down to lift himself up, he got no resistance. So he looked at me. I went over and gave him my right hand, but strangley he took my right hand with his left hand. He then lifted his other hand and I took that with my free left hand. Basically we were now holding hands. So I took 2 or 3 steps backwards and with a heave backwards, pulled him out of the hedge. At this stage we were both facing each other, and he was holding my two hands. I thought right, this fight is over, I have done a good deed and I have won. Its now time to go home. BUT instead of this happening, all I remember was barely seeing him move his body ever so slightly and I got an almighty cruel and dirty kick from him. Yes, below the belt!! I could not have avoided it, even if I wanted to, because he was standing so close to me and also was holding my hands. To do such a dirty and unfair move to someone was totally horrible. All I remember was my body going numb, my legs went weak, I felt dizzy/disorientated and I fell forward onto my knees on the grass. My face was facing the grass and I was in total pain, a pain which I had not experienced ever before. It all happened so very very fast. The rassling had now turned into a fight and also completely turned around, where I was no longer in control. Joe was quick to act and seize the advantage as I remember him sinking his hands into my hair and grabbing/pulling my head forward 2 or 3 times and trying to knee me in the face, while pulling my head down using my hair. Kids can be so cruel and horrible to each other, even at a young age. But to be honest, the knees he gave me, did not hurt at all, as I was numb and in shock. I fell backwards on my back and I remember him getting on top of me. There was also a lot of nettles where I fell and they were stinging me. By this stage some of the other students had just started to come along into that garden. They saw Joe on top of me and typical of kids started to shout and chant “Fight” Fight”…. so as to attract other kids. Joe pinned my arms to the grass and nettles and started to count to 10. Even though I was in agony and in total pain due to the low kick earlier, because Joe was smaller and lighter than me, by the time he got to "FOUR" I was able to get my right arm up of the grass. This made the pin count void. I had seen this from watching the wrestling on TV. My nose felt all woozy from one of the earlier knees to the face and it was at this time I noticed that I had a very bad nose bleed. But Joe was not worried about my nose bleed and pushed my arm down again, and this time he moved his body slightly up on me, to where he was able to place his knees on my arm muscles and pin me with his entire body weight. He also had each of his hands wrapped tight around each of my wrists so as to keep my arms pushed tightly to the ground. At the same time he used his long thumb nails to sink into the skin on my wrists to add to the agony. His left thumb nail must have being longer than his right thumb nail because I remember that very well. To this day I still have a small scar on my right wrist from where his left thumb nail had being moved back and forth and finally dug in. The nettles were stinging my arms and the back of my neck. He started the count again and I tried hard to buck him off, but he was way too well positioned. By this time even more kids had gathered around and they were cheering for him. Some of my class mate were in disbelief and were shouting to me to get up but I could not. By the time Joe had reached the count of "FOUR", the other kids joined in with him in the count, and chanted out "FIVE", "SIX", "SEVEN" loudly. I tried one more time with all my strength to dislodge him, but it was no good. I heard them call out "EIGHT", "NINE" and then finally "TEN". The crowd pushed in all around us, as he started to get off me. The fight was over and he had won. Some of the kids there from his class were happy that someone from his class, had beat someone from a higher class, and also someone who was bigger in stature too. Everyone moved apart then and Joe left with most of the other kids. I finally got up and got myself together. I was stung all over the back of my neck and on my arms from the nettles. My nose bleed had stopped but my right wrist was pumping out blood from where he had pinched and cut my skin with his left thumb nail during the pin. Now looking back, I understand that this could have being very serious if it had not stopped bleeding, but thankfully it did stop after a long time. I eventually made my way home. All that weekend I was sore, but inside I wanted revenge. There was only 2 days left before summer holidays. On Monday I went to school but Joe was not there. There was a lot of chat in the school amongst the other kids about the fight and the unexpected result. Also Joe did not come to school on Tuesday. I thought that’s ok, as a lot of students did not come in for the Mon or Tue anyway, as it was just before the school break. And I also thought I would see him during the summer holidays about the town, and I would have a rematch, because the following September I would be going to a different school (high school). But it was not to be as I heard about 2 weeks later that his family moved away to a different part of the country. So I never got my rematch, and when I think back about this now, it is probably for the best, as revenge is not a good trait. Gosh this turned out longer than I thought, but you asked for the specifics and now you have them. Today I am fit and well. Also I like your little yellow smiley faces, very good choice when you found the one that had my nickname.... ha ha very funny. Anyway the dreams when I do have them are as it happened on that day in the past. And they are lucid because during the dream, I am aware that I am dreaming. Hope you can make sense of this crazy event and why after approx 28 years, I now have 3 or 4 dreams about it. However I have not had a dream about this recently.

Hi

Wow. Interesting account I did ask you for more details, but this is a blow-by-blow account of the event Thanks for taking the time to write this. While reading it I felt like I was really there, but I am glad that I was not I do not like fighting. I read it twice. What a horrible day that was for you, its no wonder you still have dreams about it. Like I said, I am not into fighting or any of the professional sports that are based around it, like boxing or wrestling or in your case rassling!! Fighting to me is silly, but it is a fact of life, so I suppose we have to talk about it, sometimes take part in it, and watch it as a spectator Therefore it is obvious we will sometimes dream about it too. Don't get me wrong, its not just men or boys that do it, some women can be just as bad, if not worse

Getting back to your dream. We have two types of memory. Long term memory and short term memory. Short-term memory is also known as working memory Things that are recorded in our working memory are things to do with work, life, current happenings etc. Things get swapped in and out of working memory all the time, and it gets wiped and replaced and refreshed. A lot of dreams that people have are from thoughts in working memory Passing exams or doing a driving test etc, which are stored in working memory at that time. These thoughts can often be the cause of dreams, as the exam or driving test approaches. But your fight and the memory of that day are stored in your long-term memory. And also deep in your long-term memory too. It has being there all the time, but has only made its way to the surface recently. This then has caused you to dream about it, whereas before this, it was dormant for many years In actual fact during the 2 or 3 times that you dreamed about it, it was in your working memory and at the same time in your long-term memory. But that’s a whole different topic and I won't go into that here.

Even though the dream is not nice, you are lucky in a way that you are aware that you are dreaming and that it is lucid If the dream comes back see the positive side and try to take advantage of this and try to control it. If you can, play around with it, and experiment See what you can do and learn from it. You may not be able to change the core part of the dream, but you should be able to change some of the other attributes. For example, try to remove the other kids out of it, or change it from summer to winter, or change the setting totally, from an overgrown wild garden to a beach or something

I like to hear both sides of every story and I have heard your side here. Granted I know I will never hear Joe's side and it does not really matter But naturally I would have some questions: Why was he so determined that it was you that had pushed the door? His belief was strong enough that it was you, that he was prepared to take you on. Even though as you said yourself, you were a year older and bigger than him Also why was he getting in fights with other kids? Had he no guidance from teachers? What about his parents and his home life? Was it good? Were his studies good or had he a low IQ, which explained this wild behavior. Kids like this need help from an early age at school Was some teacher not doing his or her job? All Joe knew was how to fight and to win, even at any cost For example you wrote "But Joe was not worried about my nose bleed and pushed my arm down again, and this time he moved his body slightly up on me, to where he was able to place his knees on my arm muscles and pin me with his entire body weight. He also had each of his hands wrapped tight around each of my wrists so as to keep my arms pushed tightly to the ground. At the same time he used his long thumb nails to sink into the skin on my wrists to add to the agony." Yikes, that had got to hurt Very evil Gosh, when I read this last sentence I was horrified! These were definitely the actions of a kid who had problems. Once the dynamics of the fight had changed and he was winning, and you were loosing, horse you were never going to get any mercy I think from reading your post, you were disappointed that other kids were there, as they watched the underdog win while chanting out the pin count. However personally I think you were better off that they were there, because if they were not, who knows what he would have done to you!! Busted nose, black eye, broken teeth, who knows. You said he moved away with his family only 2 weeks later so he must have known from listening to discussions in his own family house, that he was moving. Therefore he was leaving that school anyway as the holidays were only 2 days away, so he had nothing to loose and he did not care about being suspended because he beat you up. Its easy now to forget how young you both were at the time, so I hope he got help and turned out ok

To summarise, I have no idea why the dream moved from deep down in your long-term memory into your working memory, but personally I do not think the dream will come back Writing about this as you did on this board or talking with another friend or friends about it will definitely help. The fact that you have not had this dream as you said yourself in the last while, tells me it is gone However the wrist scar that you talked about is not, and will be a permanent reminder to YOU that fighting is never good! Stay out of trouble and take care of yourself and thanks for sharing Carmel