Incestuous dreams

[NightShade101]

Greetings all and apologies for the scary subject line: it's just that I'm a little nervous about a series of recurring dreams that I've had for the last several years and am hoping that someone here can clarify them for me. When I was a kid (like around maybe 7-12 years old) my brother and I used to play games where I was his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend. I'd like to stress that not only was this before we had been told about sex, but that these games were entirely non-sexual. We grew up and, of course, stopped playing this sort of thing. The thing is, I keep getting recurring dreams about him in which I end up experiencing an orgasm even though I am not in the least way attracted to him. When I awake, I feel intense disgust at the entire dream and, as I said, do not feel at all attracted to him: but what I'm worried about is that this dream might mean that I'm subconsciously incestuous? Please someone help me understand what is up with these recurring nightmares and if there is some way of stopping them.

[Liz]

Greetings all and apologies for the scary subject line: it's just that I'm a little nervous about a series of recurring dreams that I've had for the last several years and am hoping that someone here can clarify them for me. When I was a kid (like around maybe 7-12 years old) my brother and I used to play games where I was his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend. I'd like to stress that not only was this before we had been told about sex, but that these games were entirely non-sexual. We grew up and, of course, stopped playing this sort of thing. The thing is, I keep getting recurring dreams about him in which I end up experiencing an orgasm even though I am not in the least way attracted to him. When I awake, I feel intense disgust at the entire dream and, as I said, do not feel at all attracted to him: but what I'm worried about is that this dream might mean that I'm subconsciously incestuous? Please someone help me understand what is up with these recurring nightmares and if there is some way of stopping them. This is a normal dream that many others have and does NOT mean that you are incestuous. You are bonded to your brother because he is your brother and you lived with him for a long time. Perhaps you have not seen your brother in a long time or perhaps you were wishing that you were as close to him as when you were children. Your brain might have replayed this in your dream as need for closeness=sex, so it scrambled this idea and gave you a sex dream. Don’t worry about this dream. Our minds do funny and bizarre things at night. They replay our lives or daily scenarios back to us in a scrambled way. For example, a male on this site once had a dream about a germ museum. This was symbolic of his grade school and the kids’ with snotty noses. What you dream is frequently a symbol of a something that resembles the dream symbol but is not it. It is a natural physiological response for females as well as males to become nocturnally aroused at different times at night. This is because the parasympathetic nervous system helps to regulate sleep AND the mechanisms of sexual arousal. This normal physiological response (nocturnal arousal) can also cause one to have a sex dream.

[Keitorin]

I completely agree with Liz. I myself have had similar dreams; in my case it's because I think my subconscious chose someone close to me (family) since I have no friends or even acquaintances in real life for my mind to draw on. I know it's hard no to worry, but try to put it out of your mind. If you don't think about it for a while, it's possible you won't have the dream anymore.

[Jeff777]

I agree with Liz as well. The same can be said about dreams people have of their loved ones dying. I myself had many of these a few years back. In the dream, a loved one would die and I would be terribly saddened by this. These were not clairvoyant dreams, they were merely my subconscious mind (I believe) telling me I shouldn't take my loved ones for granted and ergo spend more time with them. It kind of goes without saying but, in the dream world, things (meanings) shouldn't be interpreted at face value in our waking lives. The subconscious can (and will) translate images to your conscious awareness in the forms of symbols, words and scenery and situations. Whether our dreams hold underlying meanings or nothing at all is debateable, but nevertheless...worth looking into.

[IrisRavenstar]

I agree with Liz too! I think that often in dreams sex=intimacy. Or sex=intercourse, but intercourse is also talking! You want to have a close intimate relationship with your brother, but as you get older, that can often be difficult, because you start going separate ways from siblings. All best!

[Robot_Butler]

Totally normal. Don't worry too much about it. I once had a dream where I had sex with my mother. Gross I'm sure Freud would have a field day with that one. When dreaming, our minds make bizarre connections between different sets of schemata. Some disturbing mix-ups can occur, especially when sex, violence, or eating is involved.

[NightShade101]

Thanks, guys, for the reassuring advice! I'll let you all know if any new worries come up...